Vacation Time!

 

Hey, it's summer and it's hot here in Texas so The Brigade has taken some time off.  Okay, okay, it's probably just that The Brigade is a bit lazy. We'll get back into the swing of things real soon. Maybe (football season is about to begin after all). 

Ahhh, James Thurber

Trump is Bad

George Thorogood has a song “Bad to the Bone.” It’s an expression that connotes that the person is tough or rebellious in an edgy way. Donald Trump is not that. Some people refer to another person who is good at something as “bad ass.” Nope, not Donald Trump either.

Trump is just bad, i.e. not good. He’s bad at business, bad at human relations, bad at empathy, bad at diplomacy, bad at governing, bad at dealing with difficult situation, well, bad at everything. Some people even say he smells bad, but I won’t go into that.

In the past, I blogged about how he is insane and how he is unpopular. So, with the election drawing near, I thought it might be a good time to remind people about just how bad he is so they have an easy reference when making such an important decision in November.

Trump is bad at business. To call him a businessman almost seems like a lie. He has filed for bankruptcy six times (including three casinos!):

1. 1991: Trump’s Taj Mahal
2. 1992: First of two Atlantic City casinos owned by Donald Trump.
3. 1992: Second of two Atlantic City casinos owned by Donald Trump.
4. 1992:  Trump’s Plaza Hotel in New York City
5. 2004:  Trump’s Hotels and Casinos Resorts
6. 2009:  Trump’s Entertainment Resorts

 Trump is bad at telling the truth. The Washington Post claims he had over 30,000 lies during his time in office.

Trump is bad for the environment.

Trump is bad at upholding the law.

Laws Trump is suspected to have violated

Trump is bad with governing and diplomacy.

 

Trump is bad with disasters, such as COVID

Trump is bad even according to those who worked for him.

Trump is bad with approval ratings.

There are so many areas that he is bad at/in that it makes you wonder if there is anything he is good at. Well, he is good at garnering massive hate, dividing a nation and lowering expectations for an elected leader. That's too bad.

Ahh, James Thurber

The Visitor

Years ago, when I was a young lad, I'd typically go out to night clubs and bars four to five times a week. It was part of my routine. Get home from work, eat supper, clean up a bit, write a few hours, then head to Sixth Street (the main entertainment area in Austin) or some other nearby hot spot.

The Continental Club

I wasn't exactly rich, so I'd usually try to convince the guy at the door to let me in without paying a cover because it was late. I was actually pretty successful, partly because most of them knew I was a regular. If I couldn't get in, well, I'd try someplace else because I realized that going out so much could really deplete my funds.

Stevie Ray Vaughn at ACL

They were great times as I heard a lot of really good bands. Many of these were on the way up. Stevie Ray Vaughan, The Fabulous Thunderbirds, etc. often played the small clubs I hit. Some gained momentum here in Austin, the Reivers, Soul Hat, Glass Eye, etc. but never quite made the arena level that they aspired to. I still loved them and often bought their CDs that they'd sell at the back of the club.

Antone's (on the Drag)

So I've blogged about the scene and music, but this is about The Visitor.

Every now and then I'd have a visitor I knew quite well come into town to see me. Often these visits were unannounced. At best, he’d give me a few days notice and would give me a percentage of the chance he'd actually make it.

"There's an 80% chance I'm coming over.”

Although he wasn't as close as my in town friends, nor as wild/fun, it was still pleasant to see him. After all, I'd known him longer than just about everyone else. We had a history you might say.

Let me also mention that I had roommates. Yep, even after I got out of college. I mean, isn't that the best way to save money if you aren’t rolling in the dough? That's why I never said I was poor, as I could split the bills and so afford luxury items like beer. It wasn't until much later that I could afford to live on my own.

Texas Chili Parlor

Anyway, so The Visitor would come over, often on Friday, and me and the roomies would try to get him to go out with us. After some cajoling he'd often relent. I remember hitting The Chili Parlor and Lance and I would enjoy several Magnums (rum and Coke) while he just slowly drank a beer. As we got more enebreated we started to suggest he flash his credit card to impress some nearby females. He was a lawyer and had more bucks than us, so we kept telling him to try and lure them in with his prestige. Guess he wasn’t as “loose” as we were and passed.

Liberty Lunch (drummer is on the bar)

I remember one time I tried to get him to go with me to see The Replacements at Liberty Lunch. Boy, he fought that but finally relented. Once there, he had a great time. He really got into the band, the atmosphere, the cute women.

As the years went by though it got more and more difficult to get him to go out.

“Oh, I think I'll stay here and read the paper and watch the news.”

Jay watching TV the right way

So I gave up. It had become as difficult as trying to pull a tooth and didn’t seem worth my effort to try and entertain him. Of course, I also didn’t think it would be right for me to just abandon him, so as much as I wanted to go hit the night spots, I stayed home. I’d watch TV.

 

The odd thing is that nowadays he says I watch a lot of TV. This sort of bothers me because I really don’t. If you didn’t count the news or sports I’d only watch about an hour a day.

 

It’s perception. He only sees me hanging around the house and watching TV. So maybe he’s right. Plus, now that I’m retired, I tend not to go out at night. I do often go out during the day though. Stop at a brew pub or brewery tap room and grab a beer. I’m not sure I have the patience I did in my youth, so going to see some band who shows up an hour late just isn’t my scene anymore.

 

So, when the Visitor comes around these days, I just hang around with him. Now he might be right about the TV watching. Oh, well, I still have some good memories from the days gone by.

The Visitor and Jay (a few years ago)

He is Really NOT Popular

Trump has never won an election.

This is not a lie nor misinformation. He lost both presidential elections by a lot of votes. By over three million to Clinton, by over seven million to Biden.  He did win the electoral college vote. However, the electoral college is not an election.

The electoral college was a compromise by the Founding Fathers to placate the slave holders so that they’d agree to the Constitution. It would give states electors based on population and states could count slaves as 3/5 of a person. Okay, it was also for taxation and legislative representation policies, but you get the drift.

He lost those elections because he is not popular. He has never been popular and so The Thurber Brigade thought now would be a good time to remind people about how unpopular he is. This was inspired because there recently was an article stating that Biden is unpopular, but that article seemed to avoid mentioning how much Trump is despised.

I don’t know of any presidents who have had protests against them in other countries except Trump. 

He was hated in France.

Germany despised him.

In England, they really despised him, with some of the largest protests the country has seen in decades. 

They so disliked him they created floats and a gigantic Trump balloon to deride him.

Even little Belgium was not a fan.

However, those were nothing compared to the protests here in the U.S.

Millions came out to participate in the Women’s March across the country.  “Welcome to your first day, we will not go away!” they chanted in Washington.

There were marches against his refusal to release his taxes.

Of course, there were marches against him for all sorts of other reasons.

There was a George Floyd protest outside the White House that so scared Trump, that he ran and hid in the bunker. The only president to ever seek refuge there.

So don't fret when you see the polls that show The Orange One in the lead or tied with Biden. As we near the election, people will begin to remember how bad he was, how incoherent he was and especially, how unpopular he IS. It's our job to make sure they do remember.

 

The Story of Easter: A Thurber Brigade Rerun

Around 300 CE the Cardinal ran up to the Pope while in the most agitated state.  The Pope held up his hand in a calming manner to placate the worried man.

“Calm thyself Cardinal.”

“We have a crisis your excellency!” the Cardinal exclaimed.

“What crisis?”

“The people are dancing around naked and drinking heavily all in the name of Eostre!”

“Well, we can’t have that.  I have a plan though.  Go gather the people around and I will make a declaration.”

So, the Cardinal rushed off and after getting the people clothed and somewhat sober, convinced them to go and hear what the Pope wanted to tell them. 

“People there is a new holiday you should celebrate.  It is one that commemorates the death and resurrection of Jesus.  This holiday will be heretofore known as Easter!” the Pope exclaimed.

The people mumbled amongst themselves and looked questioningly at the Pope.  “Easter?” That sounds suspiciously like our favorite time of the year when we celebrate Eostre,” one man said.

“Um, no, no, it’s not related to Eostre at all,” the Pope assured him.

Monty Python would celebrate Eostre

“It seems strange to celebrate someone’s death,” another peasant said to the Pope.  “I mean, it sounds rather bloody from the description your priests have told us in the past.”

“Yeah, and that story they tell about Jesus sure sounds a lot like the story of Inanna and Horus,” anther person shouted.  “I mean, they were killed, went to the underworld and came back.”

“No, no, those stories are just myths. This story of Jesus is real. You can trust me,” the Pope said as convincingly as he could.

“We like Eostre though,” several others chimed in.  “We get to dance and drink, we paint eggs and carry around rabbits to celebrate the new spring and virility.”

“Well, you can still have eggs and rabbits,” the Pope said. 

“Can we dance and drink too?” a man at the back asked.

“Of course you can, although I think it best to keep your clothes on,” the Pope answered.

The people furrowed their brows and wrinkled their noses.  “We’re not sure about this holiday.”

“Oh, you’ll love it,” the Pope assured them. “You’ll have a great time.”

So the people decided to celebrate both holidays.  After all, the more holidays the better.  However, slowly but surely the Pope and his successors convinced them to just celebrate Easter. With time, he also got the people to calm down more and celebrate with less enthusiasm.

The church kept the eggs and rabbits, but got the people to dispense with the dancing and drinking. A small group of pagans didn’t like this turn of events and vowed to one day return the holiday to its more spirited nature. 

Slowly but surely the old Eostre followers have been stressing the eggs and rabbits.  So today you can actually find people telling stories of big rabbits hiding chocolate eggs. They sneakily got the church to offer sunrise services which celebrate an old solar celebration. Also, the pagans convinced the Pope to base the time of Easter on the phases of the moon.  They haven’t been able to bring back the wild dancing, but have had more luck with the drinking aspect with their Easter sales at liquor stores.

So whether you follow celebrations of Horus, Inanna, Eostre/Ostara or Easter we at The Thurber Brigade wish you a pleasant holiday.

Ahhh, James Thurber

We at The Thurber Brigade apologize if this story sounds a little like our annual Christmas story.  We can't help that a certain religion co-opted several Pagan celebrations to try and win over the people. We also apologize to the serious religious types for making fun of the Pope, religion, myths, etc.  We don't regret it, nor doubt the above story has some basis in reality, but we apologize as we want you to continue to enjoy whatever holiday you celebrate. Cheers.