He is Really NOT Popular

Trump has never won an election.

This is not a lie nor misinformation. He lost both presidential elections by a lot of votes. By over three million to Clinton, by over seven million to Biden.  He did win the electoral college vote. However, the electoral college is not an election.

The electoral college was a compromise by the Founding Fathers to placate the slave holders so that they’d agree to the Constitution. It would give states electors based on population and states could count slaves as 3/5 of a person. Okay, it was also for taxation and legislative representation policies, but you get the drift.

He lost those elections because he is not popular. He has never been popular and so The Thurber Brigade thought now would be a good time to remind people about how unpopular he is. This was inspired because there recently was an article stating that Biden is unpopular, but that article seemed to avoid mentioning how much Trump is despised.

I don’t know of any presidents who have had protests against them in other countries except Trump. 

He was hated in France.

Germany despised him.

In England, they really despised him, with some of the largest protests the country has seen in decades. 

They so disliked him they created floats and a gigantic Trump balloon to deride him.

Even little Belgium was not a fan.

However, those were nothing compared to the protests here in the U.S.

Millions came out to participate in the Women’s March across the country.  “Welcome to your first day, we will not go away!” they chanted in Washington.

There were marches against his refusal to release his taxes.

Of course, there were marches against him for all sorts of other reasons.

There was a George Floyd protest outside the White House that so scared Trump, that he ran and hid in the bunker. The only president to ever seek refuge there.

So don't fret when you see the polls that show The Orange One in the lead or tied with Biden. As we near the election, people will begin to remember how bad he was, how incoherent he was and especially, how unpopular he IS. It's our job to make sure they do remember.

 

Mr. Hyde visits the Thurber Brigade

While jogging through the greenbelt near my home I encountered three kids huddled around a broken toy guitar. It looked like one of those things that if you push a button it would play a song and the user could pretend to be playing that song. Basically, a visible air guitar.

Anyway, it obviously was not working and the kids were trying to fix it. There were two boys and a girl. As I drew nearer I could hear them and the girl wanted to take it to her Dad to fix. However, the large boy to the right of her thought by banging it on the sidewalk it would fix it. The girl protested vigorously but as she was much smaller, and the other boy was rather muted (probably fearful of the larger guy), the big boy prevailed and proceeded to bang the thing on the cement.

Of course it didn't fix it, and for all I know (I had run past them) it broke even more.

Now, before I go further, let me state that I often do my best thinking while jogging. My mind seems to clear from other things and I can meditate on things I believe important, or can delve deeper into philosophical thoughts. On this occasion, it was the latter.

As I continued down the green belt I thought how those children were the perfect representation of our society. The female a representation of reasonable thought, the smaller boy just like the masses that go along apathetically, and the bigger boy the typical male who believes force can solve everything.

For years I've postulated that our society advances by male and female working in tandem. The male is the wild stallion whose muscle can be used to build; the female, using reason, must tame the stallion so that his work can be productive. 

In a previous blog I mentioned how often women think men are childish when we males begin to jostle and elbow each other. This isn’t childish behavior, this is male behavior. We’re a much more aggressive species and it’s natural for us to use this aggressiveness. But I’m not going to rehash that thought.

No, I just wanted to point out along similar lines that men often think it’s reasonable to use force to fix things. A guy is making too much noise at the next table? Shout at him angrily to get him to quiet down. A cop encounters a man sleeping on the sidewalk where he shouldn’t be?  Kick him in the side.  A guy cuts in line? Push him violently out of it.  A dictator of a country gives the president the finger? Bomb the hell out of that country.  Okay, this last one is taking it to extremes, but you get the picture.

We guys like to use force.  Some might say we're violent, often evilly violent.  I don't think we're inherently violent, it's more that we're aggressive and sometimes can take it to extremes if not controlled.  We’re bred and taught this at a young age. If you accidentally break the lamp while running through the house, Dad will spank you to teach you not to be so reckless. If you want to impress your friends at school, you have to prove your physical prowess, either through sports or pushing that little guy into the locker.

So this is where women fit in the society equation. They must tame that wild stallion.  Instead of letting Dad paddle Junior, maybe she can get him to talk to the tyke instead. Explain how the boy must be more careful. 

When rough-housing between men begins to escalate, instead of egging their men on to teach the other guy a lesson (think bar fight), maybe the women could urge both men to calm down and think of the consequences.

When wars are going on, men on the front line dream of going home to their wives.  Wives of men in power can often open those men’s eyes to the suffering of the men on the front line.

I mentioned this before in a blog too, one of the best episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space 9 involved women in power. They were space refugees looking for a new home. When asked why men were not in charge, the answer was: oh, no, men are far too emotional.

What I am getting to in all of this is that as much as I think it’s funny to talk about the differences between men and women, to point out the goofiness, bad habits and traits of each, it’s quite clear that men and women belong together as a team.

Humankind has made some amazing advancements over the centuries and it’s all because the stallion and the horse trainer worked together to make it so.

Oh, I will keep making fun of women drivers, keep pointing out the mixed messages we guys get from women and probably irritate one or two feminists in the future, but rest assured I understand how the game is played.

 

Relationship C.V.

People ask me all the time, why do I write a blog largely dealing with relationships. Or more to the point, they say: “what makes you an expert on relationships?”

Of course, I often just reply that they could ask the same of any advice columnist (this is NOT an advice column, btw) or female writer who does the same. However, I prefer to mention that my resume is pretty extensive.

Yes, I’ve had a ton of relationships.

Some were great, some not so great, some were lousy, some were really, really lousy. So for all of those out there saying the same thing as they read yet another communiqué from the front of The War Between Men and Women, let me tell you about some of those lousy ones.

Oh, I could tell you about the good ones, but no one wants to read about those. I remember as a child taking a vacation with the parents and stopping at some roadside attraction to watch a man wrestle a crocodile. What he said before he began has stuck with me over the years. In his Aussie accent he said:

“I know you’re coming here to see this croc bite me leg off. I mean, even I go to the circus not to watch the high wire act succeed, but to watch them tumble. Let me assure you though mates, that today, this croc ain’t going to bite me at all.”

In other words, we don’t want to see cars traveling along a highway. We want to see a horrific car crash with 50+ vehicles stacked upon each other.

One relationship I really remember happened when my girlfriend and I were moving beyond second base. Or at least, I was trying to move beyond. As we lay on the bed, both of us with our tops off and running our hands over each others exposed skin, I made a slight detour south. As my fingers gently strolled below the waistband of her panties, she grabbed my hand and stared into my eyes intently:

“No, I’m a virgin and a Christian.”

I knew she wasn’t the former, and didn’t think the latter really mattered as if you read the Bible carefully, you’ll note there’s a lot of sex in there. But she could not be persuaded otherwise and saying “Me too” didn’t seem to change things at all.  Yes, that relationship went downhill from there.

On another occasion, with a different girlfriend, we walked up to the door of her place and stopped. It had been a fairly pleasant evening. We had gone to Esther’s Follies, a hilarious improv establishment here in Austin. While there, we did run into a mutual male friend, and it did bother me a little that she seemed willing to have a long conversation with him. He even seemed puzzled by this, but I didn’t say anything as it was early in the relationship and I didn’t want to ruin my chances. So after this fun night together, standing at her door, I slowly leaned forward to kiss her goodnight.

She suddenly vaulted back against the door, eyes wildly staring at me and her hand extended into my chest. It had been as if she thought I was the Boston Strangler about to slaughter another victim.

“What are you doing!” She demanded.

“Uh, um” I cleverly replied.

Okay, I was pretty young then and not such a smooth talker (still not the latter).

I finally got some composure and mentioned that I was just trying to kiss her goodnight.

“What do you think this is?” she asked, still in shock, still ready to spring forward and attack this wanton villain who had cornered her.

“Um, uh, a date?” Yeah, smooth.

She apparently didn’t think that was the case and promptly retreated into her abode. I believe that was our last “date.”

Speaking of speaking, I remember the time out with another Ex and she inquired why I didn’t talk much.

“I’m a writer, not a talker,” I replied.

This was years after the previous encounter and I had become better at responding to women, but apparently not that much better. Truthfully, I can’t say that she was that talkative either, but this is a typical complaint we guys get from women all the time. For the most part, until the relationship is truly on solid ground, it is up to the male to keep things going. Even conversation. So it usually entails us asking questions of the female, and the female responding. After the relationship is to their liking, they tend to take over the conversation and we’re not required to respond as much. This relationship hadn’t gotten to that point. She did hang around another month or so, but as you guessed, this didn’t go much further.

The final encounter I want to mention deals with something that happens to all men. No, it doesn’t concern use of the little blue pill. It is about how men are more prone to action, while women seem to be more excited about words. That’s right, I’m talking about show versus tell.  Men believe that you can show your emotions and feelings by the way we act. Women think that you need to express those emotions or feelings.

In this one relationship, we had this discussion many times. I always liked to point out that Ronald Reagan (yes, I love making political points) would often say one thing, but actually do something else. You know, something like, oh, he hated terrorists, but then would arm right-wing Nicaraguan militias.  Or that trickle-down economics would help the poor. Well, you get my drift.

Anyway, one night after a pretty nice love-making session, my girlfriend turned to me and made the “I love you” announcement. I smiled and hugged her tightly and kissed her passionately. Yes, she had said the words and I showed the proof.

As you can guess, that wasn’t enough. That relationship lasted a few more months but soon we went our separate ways.

I’ve had relationships that lasted years, months, and some that lasted mere days.  Yes, I've seen it all. I won't say I'm not discriminating, but I have been with all size, shape, temperament, attitude and belief of female. So when someone asks me why I think I can write about men and women, besides the line I used at the beginning, I can always point out that I’m a seasoned pro.  I’ve been in the trenches in this game for a long time.

No, I may not be the best person to talk about relationships, but then also, who would have thought a two-bit B-movie actor would win two terms in office as President?   So guess I’ll just keep writing about the differences and similarities of the two species, er, genders dominating this planet.

The Never Ending Relationship Quest

(images courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/)

Games without frontiers, war without tears

Before I go any further, let me say this: I apologize.

I have been blogging for about two years now about The War Between Men and Women, well, the differences between them, and relationships, but it wasn't until I blogged about women drivers that I created a firestorm.

Apparently I offended some women so much that they went through my entire blog list with a fine-toothed comb and discovered I am a Misogynist. It's quite a buzz in some circles (although oddly, no comments were written about the blog, even though all of my blogs 
 have a comment spot) and I wouldn't be surprised if my photo is on several females’ dartboards. 

That's right, this blatant liberal (according to my neocon brother) who often posts pro women rights messages on his Facebook page and has attended countless pro choice rallies, is now best buddies with he likes of Rush Limbaugh. Darn.

So I'm sorry I offended someone. Even though this blog is listed as humor on most blog sites, apparently by saying I don't think women are very good drivers it has cast me as a card-carrying women-hater.

So let's talk about that.

People have always said that in this new digital age sarcasm doesn't come through in emails, and so emoticons were invented to help people understand when you were being less than real ;-)

Writers for all time have had to deal with this and pretty much have just had to let the chips lie after publishing their work. This is why we've had many book burnings through history (luckily no writer burnings). This is also why a lot of writers often died penniless and ostracized.

I think most writers have just accepted this because we tend to internalize a lot and stick to our morals.

But putting me in the same camp as someone who uses the term "feminazi" or says stupid things like "women can't get pregnant through rape" is, well, irritating.

Of course, there are quite a few other male writers with me. Guys like James Thurber, Jonathan Swift, Dave Berry, et al have all written now and then something that doesn't put females in a good light and so must obviously be women-haters.

I know this might put me further in that camp by saying this, but don't you think it's a little unfair that when women say something about a male it's labeled biting social commentary, but when a male says something along those lines about women they are misogynists?

In other words, when Barbara Jordan says men don't have the capacity for understanding or compassion  it was just an astute commentary on gender issues. However, when I say women freak out at a four-way stop, well, I'm one step away from being a wife-beater.

Finally, I need to point out that just about all of my blogs were inspired by females. That's right, I wrote these after hearing or reading some comment from a woman about a man or about relationships. A sort of point-counterpoint thing.

For example, when I wrote about dating tips (I cleverly labeled them as hunting tips) it was after I overheard a woman complain about older men dating younger women. However, this woman wouldn't take any effort on her own part to look (hunt) for a man. It was up to the male to make contact, set up the first date, etc. Ergo, I stressed how it's the guy looking for a date who decides who he will go out with.

The blog about how women are just as superficial as men? That's right, I overheard a woman complaining about how men don't give heavy women a second glance. However, most women seem to have no problem going out with an ugly guy as long as he has the bucks, and yet constantly make snide remarks about a man's looks--when he's driving an old car or wears cheap clothes.

And as for that driving blog? Sheesh, every woman seems to write/blog about men drivers at one time or another. I guess we guys should start using the term "Misandrist" now and then. Hmm, wonder why we don't see that more?

So I'm sorry if I made you mad because I said women were less than great at driving. I hope my blogs will inspire people to laugh, think a little and maybe even comment once in a while (really, there's a space below to leave comments. Go for it.)  I really don't want to make you mad.

 

HOWEVER...I am going to keep writing about men, women, sex, relationships, dating... Well, just about anything. 

Postscript:

 "Games without frontiers, war without tears" is a line from Peter Gabriel's song "Games without frontiers." It's basically about how childish some adults can be. Seemed appropriate when we're talking about relationships. Plus, I think Peter Gabriel is an inspirational singer and artist and had to work him into the conversation somehow.

(images courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/)