Post Toastee

Back in 1976, a great guitarist named Tommy Bolin wrote a song called "Post Toastee." Basically, it was a warning to the world not to follow the path of a number of his friends and contemporaries who died of drug overdoses. He was very concerned it would happen to him and sadly, that came true. 

This blog isn't about that though. It's really a call for everyone to go ahead and post everything to Facebook even though there are many people who disparage those who put pictures of their dinner on their Facebook page. 

In other words, don't be afraid to post that picture of the odd shaped toast you had at a diner.  

Your friends may say derogatory things about your posts under their breath, or behind your back, but do it anyway.

I have written a number of books (five published) and countless short stories that appeared in various magazines, but I admit, I will never be a famous celebrity or star.

So although I may have sold several hundred of those books, no one will write a best-selling memoir about me. Nope, not going to be on the NYTimes list any time soon.

So what you post on Facebook, Instagram or any other website is your memoir. 

They say that things you post on the internet are forever. 

So all those locations you posted from, all those meals you took a picture of and posted all those pictures of you and your cat/dog/family will become the chapters of your memoir.

All of this is why you should not hesitate to make that post. Post daily, post everything you like or are interested in, post that group photo, post that shot you got of a parade you went downtown to watch. 

Post away. (oh, and don't go Post Toastee. We don't want to read about that post).

 

Ahhh, James Thurber

 

 

 

I Meme It

 Over the years I've created some memes in order to comment on various issues of the day. So I thought I'd show them off in one place. Sadly, they are still relevant today because the GOP just won't give up on a bad ideas.

I created this one to mock the GOPpers who are so anti-abortion that they don't believe there should even be exceptions if a child is raped and becomes pregnant. 

   

This one came about after a protest in Baltimore where the cops arrested protestors, yet police let the heavily armed right-wing protestors in Oregon go free.

 Had to do this because The Orange One kept saying the 2020 election was stolen, even though no one ever could produce evidence; and in 2016 he said his campaign had no Russian influence, even though the evidence was clear. 

This was meant to remind farmers why they really shouldn't vote for the Orange Blob. They did anyway.

 Created this because MTG actually claimed that Italian satellites had a hand in the election.

 For some reason, the non-working class GOPpers keep wanting to raise the retirement age.

I kept getting irritated because TFG kept bragging about how great his economy was doing. His economy actually didn't do much at all during his time in office. He did get a boost early on from the booming economy Obama made.

Yeah, the parent's rights movement said they had a right to keep their kids from learning different things that might open their minds. This was a reminder that parents back in the day absolutely didn't want their children sitting next to any black kids.

The courts decide that even though The Fat Guy was impeached and started an insurrection, he could go ahead and stay on the ballot in 2024. Stupid courts.

Okay, I'm not entirely sure I created this, but I think I did it after some people protested the removal of traitor statues in various cities. Truthfully, the US made a big mistake by going easy on the traitors and so it led to many of them being venerated. After the Civil War, the generals and politicians should have been executed, and trials held for other ranking soldiers.

Texas, and several other southern states, kept trying to pass bills that would require people who looked like immigrants (basically, anyone not white) to show papers proving they weren't here illegally. 

Did this one after yet another mass shooting. Think this was one in Oregon. 

Okay, okay, this wasn't one of my political memes, it was one I did for my hilarious, satirical book SEX and the AMERICAN MALE. You really should buy it. It's great.

 

 

 

    

The Interview

This is an interview that I did for Smashwords, the company that published two of my e-books. It is slowly being absorbed by a different company, and so the interview was bound for the wayside. I decided I wanted it to hang around longer, so have included it in The Thurber Brigade. I think you’ll especially enjoy the anecdote about my English teacher.

 

 

What inspires you to write?

As a kid, I was terrible in English class (btw, I did great in my first German class). I absolutely hated having to diagram sentences and figure out what a past participle had to do with what I said. However, I loved telling stories. So, it wasn’t until I got to my first year of college that I ran into an English teacher that understood me. After my first writing assignment, he called me in and talked to me and wondered what was going on. I must have said something clever, because after that he told the class that our writing assignments would have two grades: one for grammar/structure the other for content. In other words, while other students wrote impressive papers that got every gerund and comma in perfect alignment, my stories excited people and kept them reading. And thanks to that English teacher, I not only passed his class with a B (thanks to his new grading style), I was inspired to try writing for fun instead of just for class. 

 

Tell us about your writing process.

When I first began writing I wrote everything down on a notepad, then would type it so that it was readable to others (I have atrocious penmanship). Eventually I could afford a computer so I would still use the notepad, but with a computer I no longer had to master “whiteout” or correction tape. Whew. Nowadays, I seem to take my iPad to coffee shops and write down the story there, but then transfer it to my computer where I flesh it all out. I still occasionally will wake up in the middle of the night and write something down on paper. Invariably though I wake up the next morning and have a hell of a time reading what I wrote. Maybe I should put my iPad next to the bed.

What's the story behind your latest book?

When I was a little kid, I remember going to my grandmother's house and discovering she had a bunch of TV/Movie gossip magazines. After making sure the adults were not looking, I'd grab a few and browse through them. I was mainly excited by the provocative pictures (I had a pretty strait-laced family and hey, I was a kid), but some of the stories caught my eye too. Years later I thought about these magazines and realized there existed a disconnect between Midwesterners like my Grandma and the Hollywood types. I decided to write about how we all have different ideas about each other and sometimes, they can shape our lives and beliefs. "Writing Trash and Hunting Buffalo" shows what happens when a man who has lived by these stereotypes and hates the ones he has of Tinsel Town people soon becomes similar to them. 

 

Do you listen (or talk to) to your characters?

Years ago, I took a screenwriting class and the instructor urged us to use character profile sheets to get a better picture of what made that character tick. I would include items like scars, facial tics, odd habits. I began using these for all my writing endeavors, from short stories to books and found that I was soon not only visualizing them, but I was often having them over for dinner or running into them at bars. Well, in my mind anyway. Half the time I talk to myself is really me talking to them as opposed to making some snarky comment about something I just encountered.

Jay's current (messy) desk

Do you have any advice for new authors?

If you want to write to gain fame and fortune, you’d be better off trying to get on American Idol instead. Write because you like to tell stories (or whatever internal reason you may have).

Jay's writing office 1985

What authors, or books have influenced you?

Kurt Vonnegut’s “Breakfast of Champions,” Douglas Adams “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” Ludlum’s “Bourne” series, everything by James Thurber. I also was inspired by Leon Uris, James Michener, Mark Twain… Darn, the list could go on, but those are in the top bracket. 

 

What motivated you to become an indie author?

I had been sending my manuscripts out with little success, but believed strongly in the stories. So, I had a few bucks left over after taxes and decided to give eBooks a try. Sure, I’ll never be a legend but at least my voice will be out there with everyone else.

Jay at his desk circa the 90s

What advice would you give other writers?

There’s a great passage in “QB VII” by Leon Uris that explains what I think writers need to do:

“It came my time to speak at the banquet. I studied the tense, eager faces as I approached the rostrum. “Who here wants to be a writer?” I asked. Everyone in the room raised his hand. “Why the hell aren’t you home writing?” I said, and left the stage. That ended my career in writers’ seminars."

What do you think about the future of book publishing?

Well, there will always be a place for paper books because when you go hiking in the backwoods it’s pretty impractical to take your e-Reader with you. However, looking at how much phone usage has changed the way we communicate verbally, I have to believe that e-books will eventually have a bigger place in our personal libraries. The last five books I read were on my iPad. I can carry hundreds of them in that little thing. 

 

What book marketing techniques have been most effective for you?

Wish I had a best method. I’ve used Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, et al and have not noticed any change in sales.

Puck, Jay's copy (cat) editor hard at work

What are you working on next?

I have several books I’m working on, both are mystery/adventure style books and follow-ups to my “Tax Break,” which is about a man who planted a bomb at the IRS and is chased cross-country by the Feds and an Austin cop. I'll also continue to blog to keep honing my short-form writing (well, and to get my opinion out in the world). 

 

 

Ahhh, James Thurber

We at The Thurber Brigade apologize if this blog seems like a cop-out, similar to the great rerun blog. There were plenty of clever ideas for a blog this month, but I decided that this interview includes several witty ideas, and because I wanted it included with The Brigade writings, decided to forge ahead. We at The Brigade promise to come up with some pointed blog about relationships or "The War Between Men and Women" real soon. Maybe.

 

Trump is Insane

Some people will say that Donald Trump’s weird speeches are just the result of his age. The Main Stream Media (MSM) helps back them up by cleaning up his speeches. Editing out the parts that make him look like, well, like an idiot.

However, if you check in with smaller political news outlets, who don’t let him get away with freaky statements, you will have to conclude that Trump is insane.

He just says whatever pops into his mind, whether it makes sense or not.

Now the more polite commentators might suggest that he has a “touch” of dementia, but you can find a number of anonymous medical people who will claim it’s worse than it appears.

So just like a blog from a few years ago that pointed out many of his outrageous/illegal/immoral antics, The Thurber Brigade decided to remind everyone about his ludicrous statements. Here are a collection of memes from over the years of his frequent malapropisms and incoherent statements.

Yes, he really said all of these. They are not edited.

What?

WTF?

Huh?

Excuse me"

Did you just say that?

What was that?

Um, what?

I didn't quite get that.

Pardon me?

Whew. Well, there are a ton more, but we at The Thurber Brigade can only take so much without risking some sort of mental calamity. He's incoherent. He's unfocused. He's dumbfoundedly, um, dumb. He is insane.

If this isn't enough to convince you that we don't want an insane man in the White House, remember he is also a con man, liar, adulterer, sexual abuser, fraud, bad businessman, well, just a horrible human. For God's sake, don't vote for him in 2024.

Ahhh, James Thurber

We at The Thurber Brigade apologize for once again having this political side step. We want to talk about fashion difference of the sexes, relationship communication snafus or silly things that we do in the name of love, but we can't just stand by and let people forget what a loser this guy is/was. So next time we'll get back to the War Between Men and Women (relationships). Maybe.