Tuesday, November 30, 2021

FREEDOM!

How pleasing it is that so many people clamor for more freedom. Especially when it comes to matters that affect them personally. I'm so in favor, but it needs to be more than just about a little shot.

 

 

 

It's my Constitutional right to drink as much as I want. Likewise, after drinking as much as I want, it’s also my God-given right to drive. FREEDOM! 
 

If I were to get hurt while driving after drinking, so what? That’s on me, a consequence of my choice of freedom. If someone else were to get hurt, we’ll, they should have kept their distance. 

 

If people express concern about being on the road with us drinkers, well, it's their option to drive or stay off the road. No one is forcing them to be around us drinkers. FREEDOM!

Also, what's all this nonsense about requiring me to have a kid buckled up in a car seat? It's my Constitutional right to let the little rug rat roll around on the seat next to me. I grew up without ever having to be so restrained in my Dad's pickup and I'm doing fine. FREEDOM!
Recently, I gave my little boy Tucker a shotgun and all the neighbors are up in arms! So what if that ten-year-old wanders around the block with it showing off? It's his constitutional right and anyone who objects is just some namby-pamby libtard. FREEDOM!
So everybody needs to get off their high horse and allow us freedom-loving Americans to do what is right and just for our liberty. Just as god gave us Trump to lead our nation to Freedom, we must continue to demand our God-given rights. FREEDOM!

Ahhh, James Thurber
The Thurber Brigade would like to apologize for this satirical sidestep that takes aim at the anti-vaxxers. But we won't. If you are one of those idiots who politicizes health issues or even worse, believes the right-wing crazies who espouse personal belief over science, fuck off. As a kid, I got my polio shot in elementary school without any nonsense about personal liberty or freedom because my folks weren’t stupid, knuckle draggers. Get the shot. Wear a mask in crowded indoor settings. Care about the public good. Be a caring citizen.

 

 

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