Annual St. Patrick's Day Speech

Jay’s Annual St. Patrick’s Day Speech

 

A few fun facts to make the holiday even more fun:  An abrev. St. Patrick’s Day History

 

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated on March 17, his religious feast day and the anniversary of his death in the fifth century. The Irish have observed this day as a religious holiday for thousands of years (Irish exaggeration). In Ireland, it’s pretty much a somber affair. That’s why St. Patrick’s Day is really an AMERICAN holiday.

Here’s why:  The first St. Patrick's Day parade took place NOT in Ireland, but in the United States. Irish soldiers serving in the English military marched through New York City on March 17, 1762. Along with their music, the parade helped the soldiers to reconnect with their Irish roots, as well as fellow Irishmen serving in the English army.  Basically, they were thumbing their noses at their English overseers. Showing their independence with Irish flair.

Over the next thirty-five years, Irish patriotism among American immigrants flourished, prompting the rise of so-called "Irish Aid" societies, such as the Friendly Sons of Saint Patrick and the Hibernian Society. Each group would hold annual parades featuring bagpipes (which actually first became popular in the Scottish and British armies) and drums.

Today, St. Patrick's Day is celebrated by people of all backgrounds in the United States, Canada, and Australia. Although North America is home to the largest productions, St. Patrick's Day has been celebrated in other locations far from Ireland, including Japan, Singapore, and Russia.


 

Catching a leprechaun

 

A leprechaun is an Irish fairy, with the name itself derived from "Luchorpan," meaning "little body." Full grown, they are said to stand about two feet tall, three at the most.

NY pub doors

According to legend, they are unfriendly, live alone, and scowl often. They are shoemakers by trade, wearing a cocked hat and a leather apron. A leprechaun may possess a pot of gold, which is sometimes believed to be at the end of a rainbow. Because leprechauns work hard at finding new hiding places for their gold they are just as hard to locate as the gold.  Legend has it that they carry two coins with them. One is magical and replenishes the second one when they give it away. The second one turns to stone or sand as soon as the leprechaun is out of sight.

 

Those trying to capture a leprechaun and his gold are advised to listen for the sound of a shoemaker's hammer. When caught, the leprechaun must reveal the whereabouts of his pot of gold. However, to keep custody of the leprechaun, you must never take your eyes of of him. He will try to trick you into looking away, and if you do ... poof, he vanishes.

And to help you if you're called upon to make a toast, here's a few samples:

 

May the leprechauns be near you, To spread luck along your way. And may all the Irish angels, Smile upon you St. Patrick's Day.

 

May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, And may trouble avoid you wherever you go.

 

May you live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live.

 

An Irishman is never drunk as long as He can hold onto one blade of grass and not Fall off the face of the earth.

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day

We at The Thurber Brigade have been sending out this speech to friends and posting it on FaceBook for decades and decided to finally share it via the blog. We hope you have gained some insight into this great American holiday and enjoyed the pictures. Now go out and grab a Guinness (we're partial to Smithwick's instead) and celebrate. Don't forget to watch the fight scene in "The Quiet Man." Another great St. Pat's tradition.

 

 

He Had It Coming

A judge in Portland has been criticized by civil rights groups and the local community for handing down a light sentence to a woman who attacked and robbed a local businessman.

Judge Judy Pattibone only sentenced Belinda Shoemaker to time served in her case of assaulting John Finemann last March. Shoemaker claimed that Finemann had shown interest in her and consented to the assault. They had met at a local nightclub where both consumed several “adult beverages.”

Shoemaker claimed that Finemann then willingly invited her to his apartment where the alleged assault occurred.  She also claimed that once there, Finemann commenced to entice her by displaying his fine furniture and $10,000 stereo system. He also showed off a top of the line television and home movie theater. The assault happened shortly after this according to court documents.

“Does the evidence out-rule the possibility that she was attracted to the gentleman and was open to meeting someone and taking his equipment by force?” Shoemaker's defense lawyer said in court.

“You have to look at the way he was dressed and his exquisite possessions. He was wearing a tailored suit with silk tie," she said, according to the Portland Examiner.

Civil rights protestors gathered outside the court and waved ties and carried signs declaring that fashionable clothing did not mean consent to be beaten and robbed.

Using a tie as evidence of implied consent was considered victim-blaming by many angry wealthy men on social media, who started publishing pictures of their ties using the #ThisIsNotConsent hashtag.

This case parallels one last year in which several wealthy men were beaten and had their cars stolen.  In both cases jurors found the defendants not guilty, much to the dismay of car dealers and expensive car owners.

“He had it coming to him,” stated one juror, who wished not to be identified. “Did you see the leather seats and computerized dashboard?  How could people resist not taking the car by any means available with such overwhelming enticements?  You go out in public looking hot in a car like that and you should expect to be beaten and vandalized.”

In all the cases the ACLU has declared they would assist the victims in appealing the decisions.  “Just dressing in fine clothes or driving overly expensive automobiles does not mean that the people involved have granted consent to be robbed and beaten,” Rodney Weatherall of the ACLU stated.

Public opinion on this issue is fairly divided and the issue will unlikely be resolved any time soon.  Organizations representing the wealthy have advised people to use more discretion in public until they can successfully lobby Congress using massive amounts of money to pass laws that explicitly deal with this subject. Fact finding trips to Paris and Rome to investigate at length have already been scheduled for next year.

Yes.  The Thurber Brigade does think that this is obviously wrong.  How a person looks, dresses, what he/she owns, etc. is never a reason to assault someone.  However, for some reason, when the case involves a female dressed provocatively, the courts and public opinion have a different mind.  We at The Brigade often talk about sex and sexuality as well as post pictures of scantily clad females (sometimes men). It doesn't mean we believe any of those grants a person consent to assault or take advantage of another person. Ever.