I'm A Runner

Years ago my family was driving around and we passed by Jim Ryan on some back road in Kansas. He was running. I thought how impressive to be running alone on some out of the way road in the boonies.  For some reason that stuck with me

When I was in junior high my gym coach got angry with my class for leaving a few towels out in the locker room and for punishment led the entire class on a so called “fun run.” We ran over rolling hills on the school ground, through the athletic fields and even past a few classrooms. I loved it.

A friend and I began to do our own fun runs. We loved running long distances, seeing various neighborhoods and passing all sorts of friends and strangers surprised by two running kids (this was before jogging was a thing).

I continued running. Obviously, I ran while participating in various sports, but also ran on my own fun runs. Jogging not just to stay in shape for sports, but because running felt good. I could think clearer. I felt uplifted. Often great ideas for stories came to me. Or maybe I was stuck on a scene and the jog would present how to write out that scene. 

I'd run around nearby neighborhoods, if I saw something in the distance that looked interesting, I'd run toward it. If I noticed a hill that looked difficult, I'd test myself. Pushing myself to make it.

After I got out of the army (82nd Airborne, where we ran as a group,  but I'd still jog later on my own) and came back to Texas, I kept running. Often would do it twice a day. I remember telling a friend that I liked running in the heat, even when it was 90-100 degrees. “It makes me tougher.” (See my macho blog)

As much as I loved sports—I got a degree in physical education—I never joined a running type team. Never took part in races. I just ran. I ran every day until I got older and decided I was getting too many little injuries from over training. As I mentioned, I loved sports, so it wouldn't be odd for me to run during two games of soccer in a day, then do a short night jog just to unwind. Yeah, that may have been overdoing it.

In 1999 I was riding my bike to the Posse East. A bar I liked to hang out at to drink beer and write stories and some of my books. A car hit me while en route.

Both my legs were broken, I had numerous cuts and scrapes and a light concussion. My left leg had a small break to the fibula.  The doctor didn't even set it. However, my right leg's tibia was broken in five places. The doctor put a rod and appropriate screws in to rejoin the bone. It's still there today as once the bone had healed, he didn't think it was worth another surgery to take it out and wouldn’t bother the leg to remain.

After about five days in the hospital (during Christmas no less) and  around ten days in a rehab hospital I went home. I could barely walk with crutches and used a wheel chair around the house.

I feared that I would never run again.

On a follow-up exam with the doctor, who just so happened to specialize in sports medicine, I asked him if he thought that I'd be able to run once the bone completely healed and I regained my strength in the leg. He said that was up to me.

And so I became determined to run again. I did rehab. I did extra exercises on my own at home. I walked with crutches longer and longer distances no matter the pain. As a gained strength, I went to a lap pool at my gym that was only about five feet deep and walked back and forth, practicing how to move my legs without the aid of crutches. I also watched movies for inspiration. No, not whole ones, scenes of running.

There was a scene in “Rob Roy” (1995) where Rob and his clan are running up a hill to escape the British invaders. The music crescendos as the men desperately scramble up that hill. It's a great scene, well, except where Rob's brother gets shot. I played that over and over. I may have seen that scene 1,000 times.

Another inspiration was a scene from “The Last of the Mohicans”(1992).  It's at the beginning of the movie where Hawkeye and his blood brother Uncas are hunting. They're hurtling through woods, jumping over ravines and scrambling up hills, again with stirring music building as they approach their prey. Yes, that probably got viewed 1,000 times too.

After a number of months, I could walk without crutches. I began with easy walks, then lengthened them. In the pool I would run (as best as I could against the resistance of the water). I finally decided I needed to try to run, no matter if it hurt. So I went to a nearby sports complex that I knew had perfect fields. Long, well-groomed grass that I knew would be like running on a cushion. I ran five feet. It was a little painful, but not excruciating. I walked a little ways and did it again. Basically, I did intervals. I advanced to ten feet, then twenty. Each day I'd extend the distance, alternating with walking. Eventually, I could do a complete lap around the field, then the entire complex.

 

So I soon was back to running. My fear that it would never happen overcome by determination and inspiration. 

A long time ago while running around an indoor track at the gym, I noticed an old man running. He must have been 80 or more. No, not a speed demon, just a steady, slow pace. Years from now if you encounter such a man, who may be one step from his grave, look closely. It'll be me.

She Can, He Can't

What comes to mind when you see a man walking around the women's wear aisle of a department store? The guy is a pervert, right?  I blogged about this a while ago.  Women can get away with browsing in men's underwear at Target, men cannot do the same in the women's underwear section.

Lately, I realized there are quite a few things that women can do that men cannot.

For example:
• Man can’t stand beside a car with a flat and wait for someone else to fix it.


No, he can't bend over to show off his butt when a car passes, can't look to be near tears, can't even look pensively at the flat tire and try to elicit sympathy. Any guy who would even try those would be hounded the rest of his life by the thought of inadequacy and impotence (yeah, it's a tough club we're in). People who drive by the scene wouldn't even give it a thought, assuming the guy was going to fix it himself.




• Man can’t wear shorts into a biker bar

You've probably seen movies where a guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of milk and within a few minutes a bar fight ensues. This is basically the same scenario. It wouldn't matter if it was 100° outside, if a man walks into a tough place in shorts it's a clear sign he wants trouble—and will most likely get it.

• Man can’t complain about getting bumped on bus/train

If a man were talking to his buddies and started to complain about someone jostling him on the train the other day, the immediate reaction from his friends would be to ask if he shoved the guy back and if it led to a fight. If he didn't give the appropriate response and continued to complain, the other guys would stare at him in disbelief or would assume he was kidding. More than likely, if a guy did complain about an incident like this, he'd be called one of numerous names used by females to denigrate men (as blogged earlier).

• Man can’t cry about anything in public (even though women wish men would show emotions)

Of course, the exception is Speaker of the House Boehner, but every other guy may not cry. A man caught showing such an emotion would forever be branded a non-man and shunned in future social occasions. The exception of course, is when the team you are rooting for in the Super Bowl loses the game by calling the stupidest play in the history of football and loses the game. But that is about the only exception. The odd thing though is that men are probably more emotional than women. We dare not admit it in public though.

• Man can’t wear different styles of clothes at work (no colors, floral designs, etc.)

Men's fashion has not changed in several centuries. In the 1800s if a man worked in a bank, he wore a suit and tie. As far as I can tell, the only change since then is that the collar is a little less restrictive. Oh, the tie or lapel might be a little thinner every now and then, but not much else has changed. Casual wear hasn't seen much of a change either.


• Men can’t use a girls bike even though it’s physically better for them

This is rather obvious. Men's junk is much more exposed then women's. For some reason whoever designed bikes decided that men should have a bar running from the seat to the handlebar that could basically make a guy squeal if he landed on it after a bump. For the females, that bar gently runs lower. My guess about this design is that in the old days, people believed women may not be athletic enough to get a leg over a bar that high up off the ground. Or maybe it was that women needed to be more demur and not lift their legs up that high. No matter the reason, a guy may not ride a more appropriately designed bike without receiving an overwhelming about of attention and verbal abuse.


• On a coed sports team, man cannot slap woman’s butt

As I've blogged countless times, men are much more aggressive and physical than women.  We naturally need to elbow a buddy in the side after a funny joke, slap on the back the guy who did a great job on winning that debate, or in sports, slap their friend on the rear end in excitement after scoring that goal.  If a man were to do that to a female he is not related to/dating, then he can expect to be slapped in the face or relegated to the bench for being a sexist pig.

• Man can’t talk trash to a woman without repercussions

This is very similar to the butt slap. Guys love to talk trash to their friends to either get the person's goat or to build up their own self-esteem. We see this mostly at sports events, but often at work or when having a beer at a bar.  If a guy were to do the same to a woman it would surely bring verbal hell fire and maybe result in some nearby hulk coming to the woman's defense.

• Man dare not complain about women drivers

 I learned about this the hard way. Although it's fine for women to mention how men never ask directions or drive like a demon from Hades, if a man does this he risks nation-wide ostracism. When I wrote a blog about this, not only did some radical feminists begin to attack me on Twitter and other social media, but acquaintances shunned me and tried to convince others to do the same. The odd part was that I saw the blog as a bit of a joke. No matter, don't do this.

So although most men know about the above actions/events, for the rookie or uninitiated I hope this proves to be helpful. Think of this as just a friendly warning.