The Mary Ann Effect

Bre Larson is a goddess and the love of my life. Okay, okay, I admit I just recently watched “Captain Marvel,” and yes, I did say the same thing a few years ago about Jennifer Lawrence after seeing her in”Passengers.” Oh, you also remember me blogging about Pat Benatar a while ago and more or less implying my undying love for her?

I do have to confess I seem to fall in love with many women after seeing them in some movie or other entertainment medium. My memory has a few names like Elizabeth Montgomery, Debbie Harry, Kim Bassinger and more stuck in it. You are probably yelling at the screen saying “Jay, guys always fall in love with stars,” but it's really something else.

I figured it out after trying to analyze why I'm in love with Bre Larson. After all, there are tons of super models and glamorous actresses around who are exciting beauties. Oh, she is very attractive for sure, but not what you'd call a raving beauty like a super model. A light went off in my mind when I remembered that I became attracted to Bre after she ditched her super hero outfit and put on jeans, a NIN T-shirt and leather jacket.

Then it dawned on me: It was the “Mary Ann Effect.”

On the TV show “Gilligan's Island” from waaaayyy long ago, among the people stranded were two young women. Ginger was a glamorous actress with sequined, tight outfits and Mary Ann, a wholesome Midwestern girl. I fell in love with Mary Ann, played by Dawn Wells. Of course, it didn't hurt that she wore “Daisy Dukes” and her shirt was tied up to show off her slender waist. I think my infatuation with her was not that bare midriff, which to a young testosterone-laden boy like me is very alluring, but because she seemed more approachable. More like the girl next door you have the hots for, not the cheerleader who only hangs with the star quarterback. 

When I think back to the hordes of women I fell for, and I mean not those in my vicinity, they all had that quality. They were the types you could go have a good time with by just packing a lunch and taking a walk by the lake. They weren't someone you'd like to escort down a red carpet, or pick up after she walked a modeling runway. She was someone who wouldn't mind sitting on the couch with you eating popcorn and watching “Gilligan’s Island” reruns rather than dining at the Ritz with her over-dressed friends.

Rest in Peace Racquel

So I guess what this boils down to, is that my fantasy women are pretty much like the women I really do go out with. Yes, I did have posters of Farrah Fawcett, Raquel Welch, et al hanging on my dorm room wall, but I always went on dates with Mary Ann.

Ahhh, James Thurber