The Mary Ann Effect

Bre Larson is a goddess and the love of my life. Okay, okay, I admit I just recently watched “Captain Marvel,” and yes, I did say the same thing a few years ago about Jennifer Lawrence after seeing her in”Passengers.” Oh, you also remember me blogging about Pat Benatar a while ago and more or less implying my undying love for her?

I do have to confess I seem to fall in love with many women after seeing them in some movie or other entertainment medium. My memory has a few names like Elizabeth Montgomery, Debbie Harry, Kim Bassinger and more stuck in it. You are probably yelling at the screen saying “Jay, guys always fall in love with stars,” but it's really something else.

I figured it out after trying to analyze why I'm in love with Bre Larson. After all, there are tons of super models and glamorous actresses around who are exciting beauties. Oh, she is very attractive for sure, but not what you'd call a raving beauty like a super model. A light went off in my mind when I remembered that I became attracted to Bre after she ditched her super hero outfit and put on jeans, a NIN T-shirt and leather jacket.

Then it dawned on me: It was the “Mary Ann Effect.”

On the TV show “Gilligan's Island” from waaaayyy long ago, among the people stranded were two young women. Ginger was a glamorous actress with sequined, tight outfits and Mary Ann, a wholesome Midwestern girl. I fell in love with Mary Ann, played by Dawn Wells. Of course, it didn't hurt that she wore “Daisy Dukes” and her shirt was tied up to show off her slender waist. I think my infatuation with her was not that bare midriff, which to a young testosterone-laden boy like me is very alluring, but because she seemed more approachable. More like the girl next door you have the hots for, not the cheerleader who only hangs with the star quarterback. 

When I think back to the hordes of women I fell for, and I mean not those in my vicinity, they all had that quality. They were the types you could go have a good time with by just packing a lunch and taking a walk by the lake. They weren't someone you'd like to escort down a red carpet, or pick up after she walked a modeling runway. She was someone who wouldn't mind sitting on the couch with you eating popcorn and watching “Gilligan’s Island” reruns rather than dining at the Ritz with her over-dressed friends.

Rest in Peace Racquel

So I guess what this boils down to, is that my fantasy women are pretty much like the women I really do go out with. Yes, I did have posters of Farrah Fawcett, Raquel Welch, et al hanging on my dorm room wall, but I always went on dates with Mary Ann.

Ahhh, James Thurber

 

 

Exercise Now!

Hey there, Coach Jay checking in again to tell you to get up off your fat butt!  Oops, sorry, that wasn't polite. Okay, everybody needs to get up and exercise during this trying time.

Yes, we all need to practice social distancing and self-quarantining, but you can't let that keep you from maintaining your health. Just like you don't stop brushing your teeth just because you are on vacation, you don't stop staying healthy just because you can't go to the gym. It's easy to goof off nowadays, to just hunker down inside and watch the tube, but you need to self-motivate while you self-isolate and get some exercise. 

You may not be able to go out and play soccer

with your friends, but you can still go and run around the block (or farther). And as long as you don't run in a group, you can still stay isolated. When you see someone jogging the opposite direction and heading toward you, one of you should abandon the sidewalk and run along the side of the road. This way you can pass each other by a good distance. And it is important to have a good distance while running because your breath may travel farther because of increased breathing.

Got weak knees or are not up to jogging? Well, walking is just fine too. However, to get a good result from walking you need to have a brisk pace and not pause. That means don’t stop to pet your friend’s dog or to discuss (from a safe distance) the TV show you are currently binging on.

Should you wear a mask while walking or jogging? Most doctors I've heard talk about the issue say that being outside dissipates the germs that come from your mouth more quickly. So as long as you keep a good distance from fellow exercisers you probably don’t need a mask.

 

Coach Jay knows how to social distance

I like jogging or walking because you get outside, and I think in these self-sheltering times that's beneficial both physically and mentally. However, I'm seeing a large number of people posting videos of their indoor workouts. Whew, they look tough. Not sure I'm in that good of shape, but keep it up. Whatever way you are comfortable with you should keep going. Stay motivated.

Don't stop there though. Nowadays a lot of us are binging on TV shows and movies. Our derrière comfortably nestled in that old couch as we watch marathons of Battlestar Galactica (SyFy channel) or some other cherished show/movie. Well, keep it up but during commercials stand up while you channel surf. Better yet, use the commercial break to walk to the far end of the house or apartment and look out the window. Do it several times before the show begins again.

We'll get back to soccer soon

So don't let your rear end and gut enlarge during these stressful times. Stand up, move around and get that heart beating. Remember, stay home and stay safe, but exercise too. 

Ahhh, James Thurber