The Radical (a rerun of sorts)

It looks like we're stuck with another four years of, well, I don't want to say his name so I'll just stick to calling him The Orange Blob.  Some Progressives swear they're going to leave the country. However, a large number of us plan to stay and fight. I've been what right-wingers call a Radical for some time (I actually consider myself a moderate). Although I've been on picket lines and various protest rallies through the years, nowadays I mainly just write letters to editors or blog. So with the next fight about to begin, I thought I'd rerun a blog from seven years ago about how I became "Radical." Sort of a statement to let the MAGAts know that "we Radicals ain't going nowhere."

Although today it seems rather odd given that I consider myself a Progressive, as a youth one of my heroes was John Wayne.  Everyone knows his politics leaned to the right.  However, looking at some of his movies from a political aspect, he starred in numerous ones that espoused Liberal issues.

For example, one of my favorites is “The Sons of Katie Elder.”  Oh sure, on the surface it may seem to be the story of wayward boys returning home to pay respects to their departed mother, but if you look a little deeper, you'll find progressive themes.  Basically, these rough boys stand up against an unjust system and fight a ruthless corporation who is backed by local law enforcement. In other words, the little guy against a plutocracy.

I know, you missed that too.  I didn't really grasp this message until I aged a bit (hey, don’t say grew old). As a kid, I just saw it as standing up to injustice no matter the odds.

So the seeds of my radicalization (the view of my conservative friends on anyone who doesn't hold their views) had begun.  Yes, standing up for the little guy against injustice, instead of just concerning yourself with what benefits you, is radical here in the U.S. You are a bleeding heart Liberal.

Well, those seeds that had been planted began to blossom while in college.  Nope, not over the Vietnam War.  It began with tennis.  Women's tennis.  Yes, true to The Thurber Brigade theme, it turns out women made me that raging, radical Liberal.

In my sophomore year at Texas Tech (eventually got my degree from the University of Texas; another story), my friends and I went out to play tennis at the spanking new student tennis courts.  However, they had been taken over by the women’s tennis team for some match against another school.  I should point out that at this time the men’s team had some really nice courts they used exclusively, while the women’s courts were, well, they were crappier than something you’d find in a public park. 

For some reason, the men’s team was unwilling to share their nice courts. The women’s team, not wishing to irritate them or the athletic department (controlled by men), decided to instead make a move on the common students—who probably had even less power or voice with those in charge.  Historical note: Title IX had only recently kicked in (1972) and women’s sports across the US were very slowly getting their due.  Very, very slowly.

Outraged at this, I did the only thing voiceless and powerless people have done for years: I wrote a letter to the editor of the school newspaper.  Although I’m sure it was an explosive and moving letter, the only part I remember is that I used the phrase “the students get screwed again.”  Probably the only reason I remember that phrase is because I heard some “suits” repeat it as they walked out of the rowdy hearing that resulted from said letter.

That’s right, my first attempt at social justice somehow touched a nerve across campus.  Soon other angry letters flooded the paper, and with some threatening to organize a protest rally the administration decided the way to calm things would be to have an open discussion between students, the women’s team and the administration.

My friends and I joined the packed house and even got to sit at the front table opposite the suits.  Because the student courts were paid for by a special fee assigned to us, we believed we had the upper-hand and we attempted to stress that although we supported the women’s team and thought they were treated unfairly, it wasn’t right to be equally unfair to us.  We also, numerous times, asked why the men and women teams couldn’t share the men’s team courts.

To this day I proudly declare to everyone that we had an impact.  The women’s team only played on the student courts one more time after that, supposedly because they didn’t have enough time to reschedule.  However, I wouldn’t be surprised if the administration had begun to feel pressure because of Title IX and relented to have the men and women’s teams share until something new could be built for the women.

So my radicalization had begun.  I would fight for justice and the little guy thereafter.  As mentioned in a previous blog, I worked for enlisted people’s rights while in the Army, I took part in several civil rights demonstrations and well, let’s just say I fought for issues in which John Wayne would not show up for the rallies.  You know, radical Liberal ideas like clean air and water, fair pay, feed the poor, etc.

Now before you say it also began my opposition to women, let me point out that half of the crowd supporting my friends and I were women. Plus, I have—and always will—support women’s rights, from equal pay to their right to choose what happens to their bodies.  However, I’m also willing to make fun of them and say sarcastic things about their habits.  Yes, the Brigade marches on. 

James Thurber!  

The Thurber Brigade does not believe that having Progressive ideals makes a person radical.  However, thanks to Fox News relentless war on Liberals many people now believe that standing for clean air and water, equal rights, fair pay, well, anything not approved by the Neocon pundits is just short of being card-carrying Communists.  However, if standing up for the welfare of others throws us into that crowd, then we're proud to be radical.

 

The Mary Ann Effect

Bre Larson is a goddess and the love of my life. Okay, okay, I admit I just recently watched “Captain Marvel,” and yes, I did say the same thing a few years ago about Jennifer Lawrence after seeing her in”Passengers.” Oh, you also remember me blogging about Pat Benatar a while ago and more or less implying my undying love for her?

I do have to confess I seem to fall in love with many women after seeing them in some movie or other entertainment medium. My memory has a few names like Elizabeth Montgomery, Debbie Harry, Kim Bassinger and more stuck in it. You are probably yelling at the screen saying “Jay, guys always fall in love with stars,” but it's really something else.

I figured it out after trying to analyze why I'm in love with Bre Larson. After all, there are tons of super models and glamorous actresses around who are exciting beauties. Oh, she is very attractive for sure, but not what you'd call a raving beauty like a super model. A light went off in my mind when I remembered that I became attracted to Bre after she ditched her super hero outfit and put on jeans, a NIN T-shirt and leather jacket.

Then it dawned on me: It was the “Mary Ann Effect.”

On the TV show “Gilligan's Island” from waaaayyy long ago, among the people stranded were two young women. Ginger was a glamorous actress with sequined, tight outfits and Mary Ann, a wholesome Midwestern girl. I fell in love with Mary Ann, played by Dawn Wells. Of course, it didn't hurt that she wore “Daisy Dukes” and her shirt was tied up to show off her slender waist. I think my infatuation with her was not that bare midriff, which to a young testosterone-laden boy like me is very alluring, but because she seemed more approachable. More like the girl next door you have the hots for, not the cheerleader who only hangs with the star quarterback. 

When I think back to the hordes of women I fell for, and I mean not those in my vicinity, they all had that quality. They were the types you could go have a good time with by just packing a lunch and taking a walk by the lake. They weren't someone you'd like to escort down a red carpet, or pick up after she walked a modeling runway. She was someone who wouldn't mind sitting on the couch with you eating popcorn and watching “Gilligan’s Island” reruns rather than dining at the Ritz with her over-dressed friends.

Rest in Peace Racquel

So I guess what this boils down to, is that my fantasy women are pretty much like the women I really do go out with. Yes, I did have posters of Farrah Fawcett, Raquel Welch, et al hanging on my dorm room wall, but I always went on dates with Mary Ann.

Ahhh, James Thurber

 

 

John Wayne, Women's Tennis and Radicalization

Although today it seems rather odd given that I consider myself a Progressive, as a youth one of my heroes was John Wayne.  Everyone knows his politics leaned to the right.  However, looking at some of his movies from a political aspect, he starred in numerous ones that espoused Liberal issues.

For example, one of my favorites is “The Sons of Katie Elder.”  Oh sure, on the surface it may seem to be the story of wayward boys returning home to pay respects to their departed mother, but if you look a little deeper, you'll find progressive themes.  Basically, these rough boys stand up against an unjust system and fight a ruthless corporation who is backed by local law enforcement. In other words, the little guy against a plutocracy.

I know, you missed that too.  I didn't really grasp this message until I aged a bit (hey, don’t say grew old). As a kid, I just saw it as standing up to injustice no matter the odds.

So the seeds of my radicalization (the view of my conservative friends on anyone who doesn't hold their views) had begun.  Yes, standing up for the little guy against injustice, instead of just concerning yourself with what benefits you, is radical here in the U.S. You are a bleeding heart Liberal.

Well, those seeds that had been planted began to blossom while in college.  Nope, not over the Vietnam War.  It began with tennis.  Women's tennis.  Yes, true to The Thurber Brigade theme, it turns out women made me that raging, radical Liberal.

In my sophomore year at Texas Tech (eventually got my degree from the University of Texas; another story), my friends and I went out to play tennis at the spanking new student tennis courts.  However, they had been taken over by the women’s tennis team for some match against another school.  I should point out that at this time the men’s team had some really nice courts they used exclusively, while the women’s courts were, well, they were crappier than something you’d find in a public park. 

For some reason, the men’s team was unwilling to share their nice courts. The women’s team, not wishing to irritate them or the athletic department (controlled by men), decided to instead make a move on the common students—who probably had even less power or voice with those in charge.  Historical note: Title IX had only recently kicked in (1972) and women’s sports across the US were very slowly getting their due.  Very, very slowly.

Outraged at this, I did the only thing voiceless and powerless people have done for years: I wrote a letter to the editor of the school newspaper.  Although I’m sure it was an explosive and moving letter, the only part I remember is that I used the phrase “the students get screwed again.”  Probably the only reason I remember that phrase is because I heard some “suits” repeat it as they walked out of the rowdy hearing that resulted from said letter.

That’s right, my first attempt at social justice somehow touched a nerve across campus.  Soon other angry letters flooded the paper, and with some threatening to organize a protest rally the administration decided the way to calm things would be to have an open discussion between students, the women’s team and the administration.

My friends and I joined the packed house and even got to sit at the front table opposite the suits.  Because the student courts were paid for by a special fee assigned to us, we believed we had the upper-hand and we attempted to stress that although we supported the women’s team and thought they were treated unfairly, it wasn’t right to be equally unfair to us.  We also, numerous times, asked why the men and women teams couldn’t share the men’s team courts.

To this day I proudly declare to everyone that we had an impact.  The women’s team only played on the student courts one more time after that, supposedly because they didn’t have enough time to reschedule.  However, I wouldn’t be surprised if the administration had begun to feel pressure because of Title IX and relented to have the men and women’s teams share until something new could be built for the women.

So my radicalization had begun.  I would fight for justice and the little guy thereafter.  As mentioned in a previous blog, I worked for enlisted people’s rights while in the Army, I took part in several civil rights demonstrations and well, let’s just say I fought for issues in which John Wayne would not show up for the rallies.  You know, radical Liberal ideas like clean air and water, fair pay, feed the poor, etc.

Now before you say it also began my opposition to women, let me point out that half of the crowd supporting my friends and I were women. Plus, I have—and always will—support women’s rights, from equal pay to their right to choose what happens to their bodies.  However, I’m also willing to make fun of them and say sarcastic things about their habits.  Yes, the Brigade marches on. 

James Thurber!  

The Thurber Brigade does not believe that having Progressive ideals makes a person radical.  However, thanks to Fox News relentless war on Liberals many people now believe that standing for clean air and water, equal rights, fair pay, well, anything not approved by the Neocon pundits is just short of being card-carrying Communists.  However, if standing up for the welfare of others throws us into that crowd, then we're proud to be radical.

Vive la Difference

The Alamo Drafthouse here in Austin has had some really interesting movies promotions.  They had a "Jaws" film screening in which the patrons are on floats in a pool; they had the "all you can eat spaghetti" night while you watch "spaghetti" westerns; and recently, they had a women only night to watch "Wonder Woman."

Interestingly, this latter one has created a firestorm of protest from men who state it violates their rights.  Although it might be a little hypocritical, it is stretching it to say the screening violates anybody's rights—especially mens.  Face it, men are the most spoiled, pampered and entitled of the sexes. Well, white men.  People of color, no matter the gender, have not had it easy.

With all of the above in mind The Thurber Brigade wishes to stress that we are not a "men's rights" group/advocate.  If anything, we stick out our tongues at those guys because, well, we think it's so goofy.

The Thurber Brigade is here to point out the differences between the sexes—and hopefully do it in a funny, tongue-in-cheek manner.  

For example, when men's rights groups say men are treated unfairly at bars or banks, we at TTB are more likely to say isn't it funny how women can shop for men's underwear with impunity, while men roaming the women's undies section are likely to be arrested.

When men's rightists swear the men are treated unfairly by the courts in divorce lawsuits, we at The Thurber Brigade are likely to make fun of women who scream for equal rights, but wouldn't dream of asking that cute guy at the bar out on a date (First Contact).

We at The Thurber Brigade know for sure that men have all the advantages in life compared to women, but also know there are some major differences in the way the sexes act/behave.

For example, women are lost at 4-way stops and are likely to let every single driver go first no matter if they got there first.  Women will complain about how men are sooo superficial and that they stereotype women by the size of their breasts, yet women are just as superficial and stereotype men about the size of their wallets (or style of car among other things).  Women seem to think that men have ESP and can magically tell when they are interested in them. While men will go up to women they don't know, women will instead try to use signs/mannerisms to get a man interested. Women seem to have different vision than men, in that they'll go "ewww" when they see a man in a Speedo—unless that guy is Justin Timberlake.

So sure, there is plenty of hypocrisy on both sides of the gender wall, but it has more to do with social issues, like men's and women's fashion, rather than economic or legal rights.  The Thurber Brigade will continue to stay away from mundane, silly ideas like "Men's rights," but will continue to make fun of the weirdness of both genders as they interact with each other. 

Ahh, James Thurber

--------------
 Once again, angry feminists somehow acquired an early copy of this blog and have complained that The Thurber Brigade was more interested in presenting pictures of a scantily clad female superhero rather than make a definitive statement.  The Brigade states clearly that we really wanted to make a statement that we do not advocate for men's rights—AND wanted to show more pictures of Gal Godot as Wonder Woman.  Sorry.

 

Lonely are the Brave

A number of blogs ago, I covered how women absolutely fear making "First Contact."  As much as they believe in equality, it sure doesn't extend to this social endeavor. What I didn't go into though is how they talk a good game, but have no ability to carry through.

Sort of like the short boy who talks trash on a basketball court but then gets slaughtered when he plays in an actual game. He typically doesn't recognize this disparity and if he's lucky enough to actually make a basket will launch once again into a barrage of self-marketing that doesn't correspond to his ability (trash talk, I just didn't want to repeat the phrase).

Oh, you've seen this before and for quite some time. A perfect example is that old Coke commercial where all the women in an office gather at a window each day to watch a construction worker who takes off his shirt to drink a Coca Cola. I should point out how I also blogged once about women's selective vision (Because most women are turned off by construction workers). Anyway, they are all excited about this "hot" guy, but make no attempt at contact. Think any of them will race to that construction site after work to talk to him? Of course not!

I'm a notorious eavesdropper. It's my habit to go to bars, have a drink or two and listen to the conversations around me. It's to help my writing. Really. Anyway, I have lost count of the times I've overheard a table full of women talk about this hot guy or that. However, not once have I ever overheard about how they went up and asked the guy out. I have heard countless times their sadness that he didn't contact them, usually followed with an assertion that the guy must be gay. Yeah, trash talk, no follow-through.

What really gets me though is how so many women talk about how they love sex. There supposedly are studies that show how women really do love sex as much as men, but I've always written them off as the respondents were likely old ladies in a knitting circle filling out a questionnaire.  "Do I like sex? Oh, my, yes, I love sex," they'll say to themselves while reading the test.  They'll then check off the appropriate boxes but never show signs of following through.

These women, supposedly so crazy about sex, are not driven to it the same way as males. Yeah, I've blogged about this too. They have a romantic ideal of love but it's nowhere as compelling as the testosterone-driven urges males experience for sex. So women will visualize making passionate love to that hot construction worker, but will never do anything overt to make it happen. Guys are so driven to sex that the less-evolved of us will resort to catcalls to try to get attention. Socially a no-no, but guys understand the reflex. We're constantly on the hunt.

This disparity is really obvious to us guys from hearing horror stories from our buddies who got married. Suddenly the vixen they knew while dating has turned into the knitting granny. She'll tell her friends how much she likes sex, but will only partake once a month after hubby has taken her to The Ritz (or some other special activity approved by the female).

I remember one conversation with a friend very clearly. He had wondered why I never got married. I admitted that I regretted not having a steady stream of sexual pleasure.  He looked at me scornfully, shook his head and said: "oh, Jay, you just don't understand marriage."

We also hear countless stories of our friends making overtures to their spouses and being rejected—except when the female wants to disrupt a guy's plans for later. Of course, what I'm talking about is how a guy tries to get some on Thursday, is rebuffed, and then on Sunday when he's getting ready to hunker in front of The Tube to watch the Raiders vs. Lions she suddenly gets amorous. That's right, some game comes on the male wants to watch and the female suddenly reverts to her single days. The mood seems to pass after the game though, and she invariably will tell her friends how much she likes sex, but her caveman male is just never interested.

We single guys have it tough too because obviously we have to do the hunting (make contact). The female, professing to like sex, makes it difficult for the male to hook up. My own classical example is one night going out to a local nightclub called "The Continental Club." A dark, loud and very cool bar/music venue back in the "old Austin" days (for those who remember, it had a pool table in front. Yeah, that long ago). Nowadays, it's still okay, but is more "hip" then cool.  Anyway, I asked 10 different women to dance. Not one accepted. Not even the one standing beside the dance floor tapping her foot. Not the one swaying by the bar. Perhaps they thought I might be a serial killer (come on, I was a cutie in the old days when I had hair), but really all I wanted to do was dance and maybe make an introduction. Sure, Cyndi Lauper, "girls just want to have fun." 

Hunting is tough for us single males.

I could bring up more tales, such as female erotica writers irritated by contact from males, or women supposedly on the prowl who go out in large, ominous packs, or (more common) women who lament lack of male companionship yet never venture out to where males congregate, but you get the point: if you talk trash, be able to back it up with performance. 

The notorious Thurber Brigade note: Yes, you guessed it.  The title of this blog is taken from a great 60s movie staring Kirk Douglas and Walter Matthau. LONELY ARE THE BRAVE concerns the difficulty of facing change. It's a sad movie, but give it a view some time.

You lookin' at me?

Recently, a number of females complained about guys making rude remarks to them when they walked by (ie catcalls)and about guys staring too long at them. It reminded me how once again women just don't understand the nature of male/female interaction. This isn't just a case of men being boorish. This is all about how men must initiate contact. Yes, it all boils down to the fact that men must make the first contact.

 Think about it. We've actually come a long way from ancient times. Back in those days a guy would see a female he thought attractive, kill the man with her and drag her back to his cave or hut. Over time as humans became more civilized, and made laws against murder, it became more regimented. From arranged marriages to mail order brides. In modern times it has come down to men having to somehow convince the female to go back to his cave/hut by use of language and guile.

Oh, sure, those guys making garish catcalls are pretty lame (to put it mildly). However it really is just a case where they are not very subtle. Most men, although they may be thinking along the same lines (oh, what a babe) have become more refined over the years and if really interested will throw a line that might be more acceptable (need some help with those bags, ma'am?). So in other words, some men are crude, some are more, well, subtle.

 I have always thought that guys who resort to using rude remarks or catcalls are just very desperate and their sex drive has overridden their common sense. They are so in need of female contact that they almost revert to their ancient selves but instead of dragging the female off, try to lure her to their arms by playing to their vanity: "oh, babe, you're hot." No, it’s not smart, but their brains have been taken over by the overwhelming desire for sex.

In other words, yes I think the Masters & Johnson nonsense about how women have just as much drive for sex as men is goofy. That may be another blog down the trail, but just think about this: why are there millions of topless bars, porn mags, etc aimed at men, but just a handful for women?

So the male is thinking about sex all the time. Sometimes it gets so bad that the male can't help himself and just blurts out whatever is on his mind as a cute female walks by.

Staring at women is the same thing. We know that women won't make the first move; we know that they think we have ESP and can read their minds when they are interested; we know that instead of just talking to us, they'll try to drop some unfathomable hints. So the male is left to trying to express his interest. If he doesn't think that saying something will get her interested or let her know he's interested, he will instead resort to staring just a little too long.

The female though, unless the guy is a rock or movie star, will just think the guy is a creep and hurry on.  And who wouldn’t? It’s a testosterone thing for us men. Women may feel it’s creepy, but if a guy stares at another guy too long it’s a prelude to a fight.

“You lookin’ at me?"

(I've been waiting to get DE Niro in this blog for some time)

  

So the staring is one more example of the male’s brain being overwhelmed by the desire for sex and resorting to it’s prehistoric antics. No, not smart but some men just can't override the impulses their brain keeps sending their way.

Oddly, this sort of behavior received an almost idolized and accepted reverence back in the 1930’s and 40s. Just rewatch some of the old movies and musicals of the time where you’d hear lyrics like “There is nothing like a dame,” or whole scenes of sailors staring and catcalling relentlessly on the streets of NYC. Just like today, in those the more civil guys (usually businessmen in suits and hats) would scowl at the behavior, but held the same thoughts as they rushed off to work.

 So yes, this overt male reaction to females is rude, garish, disgusting and less than civil, but it’s just more of a case of testosterone and sex drive taking over the male. In many ways, it’s similar to an earlier blog about men who get rowdy and women looking down on the behavior. Once again, its women who get to decide what is civil behavior even though it’s ingrained in the male psyche.

So the likelihood of this behavior disappearing any time soon is pretty remote. The best response for a female to this behavior is to tell the guy that certain orangutans are more sexy than the offending dude, and walk on. In the future, maybe centuries from now after women have become braver and more willing to take the first move we’ll see roles reverse. Or is that just science fiction/wishful thinking?

Future times?

(some images courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/)