One of the most common conversations I remember having with various exes is the one they start by calling me a sexist. I'm sure you've encountered this too as it's one all males face when we stare just a little too long at the female at the bar wearing Daisy Dukes.
We're sexist pigs because we're attracted to, well, attractive women.
It doesn't matter that when you first meet someone, all you have to go on is looks. Oh, sure, after you know someone for a little time you begin to know about their habits, likes, dislikes, etc. The thing we call personality. But at first, it's just looks.
Since women don't ever make the first move, they can claim that they are not like this (it's their superiority pose). Men though are pigs because we act on biological urges. We make the first connection based on how pleasing the female is to the eye. The problem here (besides what I mentioned about first contact) is that women do not understand the difference between sexism and sexuality.
Webster’s defines sexism as: behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex.
Men are not stealing glances at that cute woman's legs because they believe the female cannot be good at their job of accountant, it's because we're thinking about how we can get to the point where we’re running our hands over those shapely legs.
We don't think that the only thing a woman is good for is for having sex, we're thinking HOW can we get that woman to HAVE sex.
We’re not stereotyping them as only good for sex, it's that we are craving them FOR sex.
This doesn't make us sexist pigs. It makes us sex-crazed pigs. Big difference.
Women don't seem to get this. For example, they lump us sex-crazed types in to the same group as the GOP politician or Moral Majority type who say that women should stick to the kitchen.
Oh, I'm sure there are sex crazed GOP representatives too. However, don't throw us normal guys in with those who believe that women are not as competent as men in everything or with the likes of those white bread heathens who think it's okay to force women to have unwanted ultrasounds.
(photo: Leslie Danovich)And truth be told, women are just as bad. How often have you heard some female drool about Justin Timberlake or the Boss or some guy with a set of six-pack abs? Of course, they won't do anything about it, nor admit that they are basing this craving on looks (or fame, wealth, etc,). In other words, classic double standard.
They typically will say that they are just asserting themselves as sexual beings (although they are not asserting themselves by trying to meet the male) and are not sexist and thinking that all that the male is good for is sex. Obviously, men who do the same thing (be assertive) are sexist.
Another classic example of women not knowing the difference between sexism and sexuality, is in clothing. Men are attracted to females who wear skimpy or provocative clothing. Women view this as sexism even though we are not thinking how that woman in the tight latex pants is incapable of being a successful lawyer. No, we're thinking about how we can peel off those painted-on latex pants once we get her to the bedroom.
Women do the same thing all the time. They cast longing glances at the guy in the $600 Italian suit, but don't give a hoot about the guy with the Dallas Cowboy sweatshirt. They claim they are not being sexist by thinking of men as only good for showering them with money. They are being sexual by dreaming of a life with a man who knows how to dress for public excursions. I should also point out how this relates to their being just as superficial as men, but I discussed this before, so we'll skip this for now.
So once again it's a no win situation for the male. Basically, if a woman doesn’t like some action by a man, he’s a sexist. There is no use arguing because you will just be cast further into the sexist pig category. It's best just to try to change the subject and do your best to not get caught stealing a peek at that woman who just walked into the bar in the shortest miniskirt you ever saw (which the man is scheming on how to remove).
Where did that miniskirt disappear to?(images courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/)