Saturday, July 20, 2013

Global Thermonuclear War: Stop Worrying. Just Love the Bomb!

In the movie “WarGames,” the characters learn that there is no winning solution to nuclear war.  Recently, I've come to believe that is pretty much the same outcome for men dealing with women. It dawned on me after I heard a female complain about the behavior of some male. His evil behavior dealt with his come-on to her.

When I heard the description, I had to admit that I thought it a bit crude too. However, I understand this situation well. Since it is up to the male to establish first contact (unless the male is rich or a rock star, in which the female will make an attempt), each guy comes up with his own method. Some are smooth, some suave, some clever, and of course all sorts of other variations.

No matter what method the male chooses though, he can't win. There is bound to be some female who hates it or prefers a different method. For those females offended by males who stare at them, there are just as many who like the extra attention.

So I thought the only appropriate thing to do was to present this list of the many different ways and situations that males cannot win in the War Between Men and Women.

Women do not want you to stare at them if you are interested.
Women believe that if they stare at a male, it is a sign that they are interested.

Women think it's yucky (an overheard quote: ewwwww) if the male shows excitement at seeing the female. i.e. an exclamation of "damn," "wow," "woo," etc.
Women want males to be more expressive.
Women love the attention when males express their approval.

If you make an overt pass at a woman she will be offended.
If you don't make a pass at a woman she will tell her girlfriends that you are obviously gay.

— Men who date younger women are disgusting to older women.
Women don't mind an age disparity if the male has money.

Women hate it when you make a pass at them when they are working out at the gym.
Women get upset when they wear a new outfit to the gym and men don't pay any attention to them.


Women are just at the grocery store to shop and hate it when men flirt with them.
Women put on makeup and perfume to go to the grocery store--just in case they run into Mr. Right.

 — Women hate it when a man comes up to them at a bar and hits on them when they are out with their girlfriends.
Women get pissed when they dress up to go out with their girlfriends and yet don't get any reaction from the males (who are obviously gay).
The list is endless, but as you can see, it's mutually assured destruction for the male no matter his action. It would surely be the end of the species if first contact were up to females. However, it's also lucky for humankind that although we males face a relentless D-Day style onslaught, we forever continue to storm that female beach in an attempt to establish a foothold in the continuing War Between Men and Women.

 Establishing a Beachhead

(images courtesy of