Monday, September 23, 2013

Join the Write Club: A Thurber Brigade Side Step

Okay, this blog doesn't have anything to do with relationships, men, women, sex, love, dating or the usual things I cover here at The Front. However, since this blog site was originated as an ode to James Thurber's "The War Between Men and Women," it seems only appropriate to take a side step and include one blog about writing. This is a short essay I wrote a while back about different "clubs" writers might join if they go down certain trails. I'm throwing in a few writer-type pictures just to make it more visually stimulating and to keep you from slipping away. So for all you budding writing-types (or those who like reading):

Welcome to the Club

 Which club to join?  Late at night, while avoiding some writing, I often try to choose between the many seeking new members.

A time or two I thought about The Suicide Club.  It has some pretty impressive members.  Hemingway, Plath, Sexton.  The dues are kinda steep though.  Almost joined a few years back after a rough couple of rejections.

Some people think I’m already a member of The Drinker’s Club.  Oh, I’ve visited them a few times and discovered some good ideas and stories.  But I’m not a member.  It’s fun to rub elbows with those in the club though.  Why not have a martini with Capote, or gulp down a gin or two with Carver?  Hemingway was there before he joined his last club.  After all, no one ever said you couldn’t be a member of several clubs.

Speaking of dual memberships, F. Scott was president of the Big Bucks Club, but eventually became a member of the Lost it All Club.  Twain joined the All-American Club and the Grumpy Old Men Club.  Shoot, Stephen King’s in the BBC, the Super Prolific Club and the Books-to-Movie Club.  So there’s no reason to limit oneself to a single organization.

I’ve been sorely tempted to join the Left Our Other Needs Yearning Club (LOONY).  Although their name doesn’t make sense, they’re an easy group to fall into.  Many a late night, after pulling some hair out about a disjointed plot, I’ve almost joined after a brief conversation with Kafka.  But I had too much trouble filling out the application form.  Too blurry.  However, the membership list is pretty impressive, so I may keep that one on the back burner.

Which reminds me about paying my dues to the Cliche’ Club.  Yep, I’m a cardholder there.

Disease and Death Club has one of the longest lists of former members, ranging from Chekhov and Carver to O’Connor and Poe.  I’m trying to avoid this club though, and with luck, and regular doctor’s appointments, should be able to refuse future invitations.

A group closely affiliated to the D & D Club is FAD (Famous after Death). There have been times I thought my membership was inevitable, but that’s just when I’m in a pessimistic mood.

I keep joining and quitting the Writer’s Block Fraternity, and I’m getting just a little tired of all the confusion between the PCC and PC groups.  After all, I don’t know any members of the Politically Correct Club who are also members of the Procrastinator’s Club.  So why the confusion? 

So many clubs, so little time.  Oops, that Cliché Club membership keeps popping up.  As a writer, I know I’m obligated to join some other groups. You’re expected to be a member of these clubs, you either drift there or the reading public sends you there.  For now, guess I’ll just wait and see which one comes calling.  I hope it’s the Rags to Riches Club.  It has such good parties.