Recently, a number of females complained about guys making rude remarks to them when they walked by (ie catcalls)and about guys staring too long at them. It reminded me how once again women just don't understand the nature of male/female interaction. This isn't just a case of men being boorish. This is all about how men must initiate contact. Yes, it all boils down to the fact that men must make the first contact.
Think about it. We've actually come a long way from ancient times. Back in those days a guy would see a female he thought attractive, kill the man with her and drag her back to his cave or hut. Over time as humans became more civilized, and made laws against murder, it became more regimented. From arranged marriages to mail order brides. In modern times it has come down to men having to somehow convince the female to go back to his cave/hut by use of language and guile.
Oh, sure, those guys making garish catcalls are pretty lame (to put it mildly). However it really is just a case where they are not very subtle. Most men, although they may be thinking along the same lines (oh, what a babe) have become more refined over the years and if really interested will throw a line that might be more acceptable (need some help with those bags, ma'am?). So in other words, some men are crude, some are more, well, subtle.
I have always thought that guys who resort to using rude remarks or catcalls are just very desperate and their sex drive has overridden their common sense. They are so in need of female contact that they almost revert to their ancient selves but instead of dragging the female off, try to lure her to their arms by playing to their vanity: "oh, babe, you're hot." No, it’s not smart, but their brains have been taken over by the overwhelming desire for sex.
In other words, yes I think the Masters & Johnson nonsense about how women have just as much drive for sex as men is goofy. That may be another blog down the trail, but just think about this: why are there millions of topless bars, porn mags, etc aimed at men, but just a handful for women?
So the male is thinking about sex all the time. Sometimes it gets so bad that the male can't help himself and just blurts out whatever is on his mind as a cute female walks by.
Staring at women is the same thing. We know that women won't make the first move; we know that they think we have ESP and can read their minds when they are interested; we know that instead of just talking to us, they'll try to drop some unfathomable hints. So the male is left to trying to express his interest. If he doesn't think that saying something will get her interested or let her know he's interested, he will instead resort to staring just a little too long.
The female though, unless the guy is a rock or movie star, will just think the guy is a creep and hurry on. And who wouldn’t? It’s a testosterone thing for us men. Women may feel it’s creepy, but if a guy stares at another guy too long it’s a prelude to a fight.
“You lookin’ at me?"
(I've been waiting to get DE Niro in this blog for some time)
So the staring is one more example of the male’s brain being overwhelmed by the desire for sex and resorting to it’s prehistoric antics. No, not smart but some men just can't override the impulses their brain keeps sending their way.
Oddly, this sort of behavior received an almost idolized and accepted reverence back in the 1930’s and 40s. Just rewatch some of the old movies and musicals of the time where you’d hear lyrics like “There is nothing like a dame,” or whole scenes of sailors staring and catcalling relentlessly on the streets of NYC. Just like today, in those the more civil guys (usually businessmen in suits and hats) would scowl at the behavior, but held the same thoughts as they rushed off to work.
So yes, this overt male reaction to females is rude, garish, disgusting and less than civil, but it’s just more of a case of testosterone and sex drive taking over the male. In many ways, it’s similar to an earlier blog about men who get rowdy and women looking down on the behavior. Once again, its women who get to decide what is civil behavior even though it’s ingrained in the male psyche.
So the likelihood of this behavior disappearing any time soon is pretty remote. The best response for a female to this behavior is to tell the guy that certain orangutans are more sexy than the offending dude, and walk on. In the future, maybe centuries from now after women have become braver and more willing to take the first move we’ll see roles reverse. Or is that just science fiction/wishful thinking?
(some images courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/)