Thursday, March 14, 2013

What Do You Mean By That?


Years ago I remember talking to this woman I was dating and told her we should hook up later at a place I liked back then (A.J.'s steaks and Hoagies). By this I meant that we should meet at the place and then wander on after a few beers.

So maybe it's showing my age, but recently I learned that nowadays when you say you want to "hook up" it means you want to have sex.

In a way I kind of like this new meaning as now I can be coy and say "hey, you want to hook up?" In a casual manner, hoping she will want to have sex, and if she is instead offended, I'll just say I didn't know the new meaning.

Of course, this also brings to mind the difference men and women have in what we say and what we mean.

For example, when a guy says I'll call you later, it can mean anywhere from half a day to later in the week.  When a woman hears that, she assumes he'll be calling in a few hours.  The difference in the two meanings comes from the habit of men to be either very specific when they know for sure what they want: "I'll call you in an hour." Compared to women associating a generic term to more precise timing: "I'll call you later (in a few hours)."

A more classic example of the difference in meaning between the two sexes is the rendezvous scenario. A guy will say I'll pick you up at seven. A female will take this to mean he'll pick her up at 7:30 but they won't be leaving until eight. Hence the female is never ready when the guy arrives.

Also when a guy says he likes something it usually means that he really does like it. However, women will often say they like something, but it's situational. If she is with her lifelong best friend, she probably really means it. If she is with a group of people, or on a date with a new acquaintance, it is more likely she doesn't like it, but will say it to make her seem more agreeable To her companions.

This is almost the reverse in the meaning a man will use when answering a female who has just asked "how do I look?"  

 The male will invariably say "you look great." What he really believes is immaterial as he will only say what will make him seem more agreeable to the female (and won't make her mad). A female will actually tell the man what she really believes if asked "how do I look?" She'll say "that sweatshirt makes you look like a slob" instead of what he wants to hear (you look badass), because she knows the male will not think any less of her, and will probably ignore her observation unless he's hoping for sex later.

Of course, if a female asks the dreaded question; the question all men fear and tremble over when it is uttered, the question men have been known to risk injuring themselves in order to avoid: "do I look fat in this dress?" Well, we may never know the difference in meaning between men and women, because men will never answer but will flee with haste.
 (No, she doesn't look fat, really)

That probably means something.

Hook up?