Wednesday, August 21, 2013


Years ago, when I was in the Army, my airborne unit was sent to Canada on exchange with paratroopers from that country. On one of our side trips, we stopped in Banff (they had a training facility there!). One night, a buddy and I went to a local bar and ended up trying to pick up a couple of females. They turned us away by saying they were waiting for their husbands. How were we to know? They didn't have wedding rings.

Of course, they could have been lying, or maybe in Canada they don't commonly exchange rings when they exchange vows.  The thing is, they were sending out false signals to us. This is a common female habit.

Admittedly, this blog may sound a bit like the one about Signs, but in fact, this one is more about how women misguide us men rather than just sending hard to understand signals.

The wedding ring scenario is one of the most common. Not the one mentioned above, but the opposite. Women who wear rings on their wedding ring finger sending a message to us guys that it's "hands off!" The thing is—they are not married. They may be wearing the ring because they think it looks nice, or maybe it was an heirloom from their grandmother. Whatever the reason, they are sending us hunters off the trail.

You always hear stories about how men are "breast men" or "butt men", etc. Supposedly this means that this is the feature those guys are most drawn to. What this also means is that there is a certain order we use to scan females to decide if we are attracted physically.

For example, the order I go in is: legs, eyes, hand, and so on. The hand is so high in the ranking because I'm looking for a ring. So if I like the legs, like the eyes, but then see some ring, well, my attention goes to some other person.

It also doesn't matter the type of ring. In other words, even if it's a mood ring, I'll probably lose interest if it's on the right finger. Who knows? Maybe this person is "quirky" and wanted a unique type of wedding ring (I once encountered a woman with a small image of a dolphin).

Another way women mislead us guys, is when they dress provocatively, but are not really on the prowl (of course, when I say on the prowl, I mean they are hoping to meet someone. Women don't ever take the offensive, they leave it to the male to make first contact). So they may have dressed up to impress a girl friend, or more likely, piss off an Ex, but they do not desire to be hit upon. If a male were to throw a line their way, they would become super irritated, and would report back to their girl friends how men are such dogs.

Another common variation on this deception by females includes when they wear a t-shirt with a provocative word/slogan (hottie, playgirl, etc.). Oh, you’ve seen them. They wear a shirt that has “Melons” (or something provocative) written across the chest and the first thing they say to you is “Hey, fella, eyes up here,” while pointing to their eyes. They may be okay with a guy trying to pick them up, but they certainly don't want him staring at their breasts—even though they are wearing a shirt that draws the eyes to that very region.

There's also the notorious smile and nod distraction. The guy passes by her while she's sitting on a bar stool, and she smiles and nods her head at him. Could this be a sign?  We often encounter females on the street or in the hallway who smile casually at us.  More than likely, they are just being friendly and not trying to send a signal. However, when they take the same technique to someplace like a bar but don't mean it, well, it's sending us the wrong message. If a guy were to make a pass at her, she would invariably turn the cold shoulder because she didn't really mean the gesture as an opening. Maybe. We don't know until we take the chance.

So like last blog, we see that males can't win. We keep getting these false messages from females, and end up in frustration. It's enough to drive us to drink. Which, of course, may be a good outcome from the situation. Since women don't show any inclination to changing their behavior and making the first move, at least they should help us guys by wearing signs to let us know that the right guy has a chance. Oh, okay, if signs are too garish, at least quit sending those misleading signals.
A clear signal
(images courtesy of