Republican No More

They advocated and fought to free the slaves. They worked to preserve America's wilderness by protecting National Parks. They warned us about cozying up to corporations and the military. They used to be the Republican Party.

Used to be.

I’m working to initiate a lawsuit to force them to change their name as they no longer resemble that political organization. To say they are the party of Lincoln, or Teddy or Ike is delusional as they abandoned those leaders’ ideals and principles decades ago.

The downfall of the Grand Old Party began with Nixon's Southern strategy which attracted the Dixicrats and others who hated President Johnson’s civil rights expansion.  The metamorphosis of the party continues with the Trump dismantling of the few vestiges of the old party that remained.  

In the old days the Eisenhower administration said this:

“We are proud of and shall continue our far-reaching and sound advances in matters of basic human needs — expansion of social security — broadened coverage in unemployment insurance — improved housing — and better health protection for all our people. We are determined that our government remain warmly responsive to the urgent social and economic problems of our people. We shall continue to seek extension and perfection of a sound social security system.”

Ike also advocated for equal pay for equal work, regardless of gender; supported a mandated minimum wage rate; supported ending discrimination in employment based on race; supported an expansion of social security and other progressive ideals.  Today’s party cringes when they hear anything close to that, and in fact, often opposes those ideas.

Today’s Republican party has moved so far from the progressive ideals they embraced in the old days that even the moderates flee the party.

Nowadays the party advocates for the rich and for corporations, but tries to appeal to working class people by stating they are working for those people interests, even though they most assuredly are not.

So I propose they have to change their name.  Some possible choices:

• Corporatic party
• Trumptonian Party
• Antipeoplish Party
• Wealthnbiz Party
• Screwpoorlian Party

By changing their name it will protect the rich history of the Pre-Nixon Republicans and save that heritage from the inglorious pigheadedness of today’s version. I may have a problem finding a lawyer though because I think the bar association may be an adjunct of the new party. Fingers crossed that the judge hasn’t been appointed by Trump.

Ah, James Thurber

 We at The Thurber Brigade apologize for once again getting off the path of the interaction between men and women.  However, with the election looming, we believed it important to stress that if someone supports DJ Trump, that person has strayed from the ideas and ideals of the Republican party and have instead embraced racism, hatred, ignorance and, well, you get it. We at The Brigade promise to get back to The War Between Men and Women real soon. Maybe.

The Incident

A Thurber Brigade Trump Sidestep

In a shocking news release today, the White House admitted that the recent New York Times article that declared President Trump killed Mike Pence is correct.  

The article, published last week, stated that in a fit of rage Trump had shot Pence after the VP laughed when Trump declared he had the most successful presidency in US history. The news release did not clarify why the White House waited until after the news had broken or the other succeeding events that had proven the incident occurred.

Immediately after the NYT article had been released, Trump denied that the incident happened, and Sean Spicer declared in a press conference that Trump had been bowling at the time the alleged murder took place.

The next day, during a TV interview, Kellyanne Conway stated that Trump had actually been in a high level cabinet meeting that took place in a bowling alley.

Both of these accounts were proven wrong when the next day Trump posted a tweet alluding he may have killed Pence, but it had been an accident:

After that Tweet Spicer avoided questions from the press by wearing a long-haired, blond wig, red dress and heels and discreetly rushed past the reporters waiting to hear his next press conference. Conway meanwhile stated that Trump did not mean that he shot Pence, but that Pence had violently grabbed the pistol out of Trump's hand and then shot himself.

Mrs. Pence, when asked about her husband, said that she never noticed him missing until he missed a dinner engagement at a local restaurant yesterday. She stated that even then wondered to herself if he might have been there but may have just not spoken to her as was his usual behavior.

After the most recent White House news release, Jeff Sessions reiterated his belief that if the president does it, it is not illegal.

Meanwhile, both Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell said they did not want to jump to conclusions until they had formed a committee to investigate.  When asked about the admission of the White House, the presence of the dead body found in the Oval Office and the gun with only Trump's fingerprints the Republican lawmakers stressed that there wasn't clear proof yet and they would check back after further committee meetings.

The Democratic Party couldn't provide a spokesman, but did release a letter stating that Trump must be impeached and then tried for murder. An hour later they sent out another letter to news organizations stating that they were not sure if that was the proper action and would wait until they could find a spokesman with a backbone before making further comments.

Shortly after the recent news release from the White House Trump posted a new tweet:

His follow-up tweet: 

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The Thurber Brigade does not apologize for yet another side-step.  If the prez can "allegedly" collude with our foreign rivals, "allegedly" obstruct justice, "allegedly" profit from his dealings while in office, then both parties, his supporters, and those unwilling to take a stand deserve at least a satirical lambasting if not outright contempt for their lack of morality, fortitude, and patriotism.

Why, yes, I bowl