Will #MeToo Destroy Civilization?

Here in Austin there is a bird that has taken over the skyline. It's called a Grackle (Great-Tailed Grackle) and although when they mass in one area they're considered a nuisance, individually they are quite interesting. The male is bigger than the female and jet black compared to her brownish/grey.  To attract the female the male will squawk loudly, thrust out his chest and raise his wings to make himself look bigger, then circle around the potential mate in a frenzied dance.

In other words, it's pretty much the same way we males must go about meeting a woman.

As I've mentioned before, female humans are afraid to make First Contact, so it's all up to the males. However, it's more than just first contact, it's also pretty much the first move. That includes not just which way to take the relationship, but more importantly, the first move for sex.

The male must appraise the situation, the woman's mood, her thought process and decide if tonight's the night. Also as I’ve blogged before, this can be a challenge for we guys get some odd signals or signs from females. They are often difficult to decipher.

I bring this up not to rehash old blogs (although I like to link back to them) but because of recent events in the news. The #MeToo “thing” as well as the Joe Biden shoulder touching incident.

First off, let me point out that Biden is one of those touchy-feely types.  He's like your cheek-pinching aunt on steroids, or the Hollywood starlet smoocher wannabe who plants fake kisses on everyone she meets. Plus, he doesn't just touch females, but males too. There are countless pictures of him wrapping an arm around a male's shoulder or giving him a friendly hug.

So him just touching someone shouldn't be an issue. However, the response was over-the-top. Some women saw it almost on the level of assault. Luckily, not all believed that and recognized Biden for what he is (touchy/feely). But the #MeToo adherents came out in droves and pretty much did the modern day burning at the stake by attacking unrelentingly.

This attitude goes against what I mentioned earlier about First Contact. I've also mentioned before that some women take offense at males flirting. If males must be afraid of any contact, even the non-emotional greetings or lighthearted come-ons, then civilization could be imperiled.

Soon, men would fear for their lives if they attempted to convince that cute waitress out on a date. If they magically were able to get a date in the new #MeToo world, heaven forbid they seductively suggest she come back to his place. And the married man who craved a night of romance better set his sights instead on getting excited over a football game instead. For even if there were a change in how men approached a female, it'll be centuries before women evolve to the point where they might take responsibility for making that move.

On a positive note, at least it might solve the overpopulation problem.

Ahhh, James Thurber

We at The Thurber Brigade apologize if you believe this is taking things a little over-the-top.  It's sort of what we do though.  As noted before, we do not condone sexual assault of any type/level, but also think it's possible to go too far the other way too. If nothing else, just be thankful we didn't devolve the blog into another topic as we're prone to do in an attempt to hide the true reason for the blog. We just like being sneaky. 

Rejection

In the bottom drawer of one of my file cabinets sit hundreds of rejection letters.  These are from publishers, editors, agents, etc. for countless submissions of books, articles and stories.  Some of the letters are nice; some include reasons why; some, probably the majority, are soulless standardized form letters. All have the same impact: momentary depression, then resolve to try again.

Did I mention I was stubborn?

Of course, like most guys I’ve had twice that amount (or more) of rejections from women.  It ranges from the rejection by the girl of my dreams when I was 10 to my request to sit by her in the school lunchroom, to that night at The Continental Club when 10 different women turned down my request to dance (several were even dancing in place as if they were keen to hit the dance floor).

Oh, and let me bring up here how men are required to make First Contact—as I’ve blogged before. So although the rejection still stings, we guys get used to the soul wrenching experience. No, we're not immune to the pain of the psychological slap to the face, but we drive on regardless.

I bring rejection up because it is tied to the notorious “#metoo” phenomenon.  It's closely related to my blog about cat calling.  Some men are good at approaching females, some not so much.  Some smooth, some irresponsibly boorish.  Some can knock off a woman's socks with a line, some get their blocks knocked off for saying something crass.

So a natural outgrowth of this is that some men who know they are required to make the first move, take it too far.  Those who have a little prestige or power, may even begin to use that status to push the envelope.  Some of these even enter the realm of going waaaay too far (sexual assault).

Now understand that I’m not implying that because men must make First Contact it's okay to be a little aggressive as long as you don't go too far.  I am however implying that women have a hand in this.  No, not blame for it, but responsibility for initiating an almost Pavlovian-ingrained male trait.

Before all those angry feminists that harangue me start tweeting away, let me give an example of what I’m getting at here.  Let's say that I’m walking down the rough streets of some city openly counting a wad of money.  Within a block I get mugged.  Probably 9 out of 10 people will say “well, what did you expect?”  Oh, they may say the mugger is the guilty party, but they'll also strongly suggest that I precipitated the robbery.

So why can't women understand that they have a hand in creating the situation that precipitated the #metoo problem?  Just like I shouldn't be blamed for getting robbed, women shouldn't be blamed for some guy accosting them.  Just like I shouldn't be blamed for waving around a bunch of money, they shouldn’t be blamed for wearing provocative clothing or walking too close to a coworker. 

However, just like I must recognize that I may have set up the chance to be robbed, women should understand that by not taking a hand in starting a relationship they are guiding a male behavior pattern. 

Face it, men have always been aggressive when it comes to meeting females. It began when cave men would kill to claim a fertile woman to take back to the cave, transformed to a sailor home on leave from the war in the Pacific hitting on the girl serving sodas at the drug store and morphed into today's bar scene of some guy asking to dance.

 "Cathy" by  Cathy Guisewite

Along the way, humankind has changed and modernized, but for some reason, women taking a hand in First Contact never has. So they've championed for the right to vote and equal rights, but stayed mum on taking responsibility to get a relationship off the ground. 

So excuse me if I only give passing acknowledgment to those #metoo advocates.  No, guys shouldn't assault women or abuse them verbally, but until women make a change in behavior themselves, expect guys to make as many unwise approaches as smooth ones.  After all, I've learned to never take cash out of my wallet until absolutely needed.