Meet The Blogger

The Thurber Brigade has been blogging for eight years now.  Blogging initially about relationships and the interaction between men and women, but expanding to politics, daily living and more. Well, it's about time to give a little insight into this clever (in his mind) writer. So below is a short pictorial history of the author.

My writing space, early days

As noted, I'm a writer and you can see the books on the right side of the page. I've written short stories and news articles as well as political pamphlets and okay, graffiti in bathrooms.

In the past, I was an academic advisor at The University of Texas.

Advising at UT

Orienting new students

Years ago, I was a grunt (infantry) in the 82nd Airborne.

Jungle training in Panama

A young paratrooper

 

Scotland, Australia, The UK, Europe, Panama, Mexico, Canada are the places I've visited overseas.

Jay at Loch Lomond

Jay at Sydney Harbour

Hiking in the mountains is one of my favorite pastimes.

Avalanche Lake, Glacier NP

Hurricane Ridge, Olympic NP

Boy, do I love sports, especially hockey.

Jay at The Joe

Meeting Lord Stanley

 

 

 

 

 

Besides watching and playing sports, I've also coached and reffed (I could mention a book I wrote about coaching, but never got it published).

In action

Jay the Coach

Just finished reffing, coaching in rec league

 

I'm pretty fond of going to beer festivals too.

At GABF with St. Arnold

Oregon Brewers Fest

Over the years, I've had numerous pets.

Jay's Posse (circa 2012)

The Copy (cat) Editor

Well, like most people, I have tons of pictures (click on these to see larger version), but this should give you a little more background behind the poison pen at The Thurber Brigade. Sorry, no childhood pictures. Gotta save those for Part II at some later date.

 Okay, just one.

Zorro!

Ahhh, James Thurber

Okay, I know this blog may appear vain and self-glorious. A bunch of pictures of Jay? Sheesh. Well, it may seem that way but it's really more of a touch of laziness and distractions too many to count. I wanted to have some sort of blog for January, but hey, I watched a little too much football, got too excited about politics and maybe celebrated a few holidays a little too much. I'll get back to my more snarky, funny and maybe a little insightful blogs real soon. Trust me.

Peace Talks

The Thurber Brigade sent a reporter to the recent peace talks in Paris and filed this report:

Not since 1973 and the notorious Paris Peace Accords have two such bitter rivals met in this city to try to resolve their differences. However, after eons of conflict in the War Between Men and Women, both combatants agreed to begin negotiations to end the acrimonious combat.

The two sides are a diverse group. Bob Blevins is one of the male negotiators, while on the other side sits Shiela Blevins, his wife of 30 years.  Another female diplomat is Sandra Canton the famous Hollywood actress and sitting opposite of her is Howard Eisenthal the mega-blockbuster director.  Also from the arts field is Stan Boles the music producer, opposite of Elly Withers the pop singer/fem fatale. Completing the contingent is politician Richard Tork from Texas who sits opposite the international diplomat Fran Cleaver.

The discussion got off to a rocky start as the two sides could not decide on a table.  The women objected to the long rectangle suggested by the males as they contended it represented a phallic symbol, while the oval advocated by the females was likewise rejected for its female genital similarity. They eventually settled on a series of small desks that each could sit behind separately and set up opposite each other. 

“He constantly watches football games and drinks beer,” Shiela Blevins stated early in the talks.

“She's completely exaggerating,” Bob interjected.  “Plus, all day she watches nothing but soap operas while I slave away putting food on the table.”

The Hollywood pair also got in some early jabs:

“Eisnethal will no longer cast me in parts because he thinks I’m too old Ms. Canton exclaimed.

“Age is a factor for male actors as well as female,” the director countered.  “Audiences want younger actors for younger parts. I just  cast for what will sell tickets. Gender is not a factor.”

“I have the same problem with my music,” Withers chimed in. “This so called music producer won't work on my albums because I gained a little weight,” she said, nodding at Boles.

“Ha! What she doesn't say is that it was her thin body tucked into those revealing Daisy Dukes that sold the million albums.  If her voice had sold them, I’d work with her without hesitation. But now she wants to change the way consumers view her without any effort or change, such as losing the weight she gained due to her success.”


“Tork uses the guns on the military’s tanks as a symbol of his masculinity and to prove how macho he is when confronting problems,” Cleaver chimed in to the fray.


“Well, this so called diplomat believes that for every situation you should sit down with your opponent and talk about your feelings,” Tork fumed, nodding at Cleaver.

The arguing continued for days and just like the Vietnam talks, often would end with no peace treaty only to begin again weeks later.  After the most recent gathering, the two sides gave up again when neither could decide what was appropriate clothing to wear on a date as well as whether women should make an effort to make first contact or whether men should be more willing to discuss feelings.

As of this writing the war continues unabated and just as acrimonious as before.  Inside sources indicate the two sides may meet again in Geneva if they can decide on who should cater the gathering.

 Ahh, Thurber

The Harvey Weinstein Blog

Many years ago in Springfield, a couple of enterprising young men decided to open a bank.  They were very creative and wanted a bank that everyone would want to visit.  Yes, they followed the banking laws, but cut corners.  They did this to provide services customers would shout about (and tell others).  For example, they offered loans that had a much lower interest rate than other banks.  In addition, they offered them to about everyone who applied. 

One of the corners they cut included not installing a bank vault.  They kept all the money stacked up on a table.  Oh, it was well behind the teller’s counter, but also in clear site of everyone who came into the bank.

“This way people will know their money is here,” one of the men explained.  “Not stashed away in some other business or unscrupulous enterprise.”

Their employees were very reliable and never took any of the money.  They also never talked to others about how the money sat on the table day and night.

The bank flourished.  One day a competing banker came in to investigate why this one had taken so much of his own business.  He almost immediately noticed the large pile of money on the table behind the tellers.  A little bell went off in his head.  He wandered back and forth in the lobby inspecting the bank.  He waved at the two men who started this thriving business then hurried out.  He laughed, whistled a tune and skipped a few times as he walked back to his own bank. 

Now although this banker did not look like a nice person, he wasn’t a thief either.  Oh, he had dirty stock deals and lousy loans like most of the other bankers, but he never robbed a bank.  This would be too easy though.  He could get away with this and no one would suspect him because, well, he was a banker.

Later that night he broke into the competing bank and took all the money off the table.  He giddily ran home, threw it on his bed, and rolled around in all the loot.  He really loved money.

The next day the police came and investigated, but could not figure out who stole the money.  They chastised the two bankers for not having a vault and walked out.  The police did promise to keep working on the case, but not much got accomplished.

The townspeople all expressed sorrow for the two men who got robbed, but also said the men should have invested in a vault or done something more positive to prevent the theft. 

Eventually the police found out that another banker stole the money.  After all, he was quite often seen with lots of money hanging out of his pockets and spending a great deal on chocolate and beer.  Other bankers swore they’d never do anything like steal or buy too much chocolate.  They all insisted they were good people.  The thief escaped to Tahiti.  No one believed he’d ever face justice, but they hoped he'd pay the price for this crime. 

The two young bankers commiserated with other bankers robbed of money.  These others never bothered to tell anyone or call the police until after this incident.  After all, they were bankers and wanted to stay in business. 

The outcry became louder and louder.  Soon all the bankers agreed they should never steal money.  After a year, the two young entrepreneurs wrote a book about the affair and made more money.  They opened a credit union.  To the relief of everyone, they also bought a bank vault.

Ahhhh, James Thurber

What do you mean you think The Thurber Brigade should have called this another sidestep?  It’s about relationships between men and women.  Don’t expect us to explain to you this allegory about the Harvey Weinstein controversy.  Sheesh, next you’ll want us to explain what the end of the TV show “Lost” meant, or to tell you how Koala bears somehow made it to Noah’s ark.  Like all GREAT literature, this is just another one you’ll have to think about on your own—although we’d really appreciate comments (no cursing please).

Slugging it out—The Florida (in)justice system

By now the event has pretty much blown over, well, for the media anyway. With Donald Trump hogging the airwaves, not much else is covered in the media for more than a few seconds. The event I’m referring to is a Florida State football player hitting a woman at a bar. No, this is not another side-step by The Thurber Brigade, because this really does involve The War Between Men and Women.

I don’t mean physically of course (the war), although this event is physical. What this blog looks at is the inequality of the Florida justice system that seems to say it’s okay for a woman to hit a man, but not the reverse.  In this case, De’Andre Johnson is accused of hitting a woman while in a bar in Tallahassee in June.

Let me state that I’m not saying he did not hit the woman. I think that’s clear on the video (although for legal reasons I guess I should say “Allegedly”). What gets me is that she also clearly hit him and yet she has NOT been charged with misdemeanor battery as he has.  

 Is it because he hit harder than she did so she doesn’t get charged? Is it because she’s female and well, we guys are told never to hit a woman? Or is it because this happened in the South and it’s a BLACK man hitting a WHITE woman?  I have a feeling it’s the latter, but won’t discuss that here.

First off, let me point out that any time you go to a crowded bar, rowdy rock concert or the Austin City Limits Music Fest you should realize that you are going to get bumped here and there and quite regularly. If you don’t like getting bumped into, don’t go to those type of places!

Of course, good bars should have a dedicated spot to order your drinks. You know, like the Black Star Co-op Pub and Brewery here in Austin who brew some great beers, serve very delicious food and yes, have a spot where you order your drinks and don’t have to worry about muscling up to the bar. No, I’m not getting paid to say that, I just like the place and wanted to mention it here as it seemed relevant. Sort of.

  Anyway, here’s what happened at that busy Tallahassee bar on that June night.  Johnson wanted to order a drink and asked a woman who already had her drink if he could take her spot and move up to the bar to get his.

 

She agrees and lets him in and so he moves to the bar but accidentally bumps into the alleged victim. Note how he has his hand on the bar attempting to get that spot before someone else does. That's a typical ploy to get up to a crowded bar because it's so difficult. It’s tough getting one of those spots, as someone who has had to fight his way to bars for years, I can tell you it’s not easy.

The victim gets angry at being bumped by Johnson. Is it because she’s not used to being bumped in a crowded bar, or is it because he’s a big black man? Well, since we men do not have ESP I can’t say for sure (but yes, that’s my opinion). Of course, she might have been drunk already and just in an angry mood. Who knows?

The alleged victim (okay, I keep saying alleged not for legal purposes, although my lawyers wish I would, but because I’m being snide because she seems to get away with this while he does not) seems to be cursing Johnson out (some witnesses say she used racial epitaphs) and raises her fist to make a point that she can take him out with one blow. Okay, that’s not why she raised her fist, but I thought it sounded funny. Plus, we small guys (compared to football players) know better than to threaten bigger guys because if we exchange blows, we know it won’t be very equal. For some reason, I don’t think this woman learned that while growing up.

Johnson attempts to stop her from hitting him by grabbing her arms. Although he’s probably incensed by the racial slurs and threats, he has been taught not to fly off the handle at a slight provocation like this. She becomes even more enraged and so knees him in the groin!

Johnson doesn’t leave even though he’s been cussed out and kneed, so she decides to up the ante. She slugs him! 

I think that this was the straw that broke the camel’s back as he slugs her back. I’m not showing that picture because you have seen it maybe 1,000 times since the news media likes to focus on that aspect and not what leads up to it.  

So that’s the event. Two people in a bar slug it out. However, only one person gets charged with a crime! Yes, it’s the man. 

I believe strongly in equal rights. I believe women should get paid the same as men for doing the same job if everything else is the same (that’s another story), I am really happy women got the vote and wish they would do so more often and stop electing idiots like George Bush, et al. As noted before I like watching women’s sports as much as men’s.

However, you can’t pick and choose what will be equal and what will not. 

Personally, I don’t think this is the type of event that should involve charges. If the woman wants to take him to civil court, let her, but don’t make it a crime to have a fight. If you do make it a crime, then make it equal.

Florida either needs to drop the charges against Johnson, or charge her too.

As we guys always like to say when we explain to our parents about a fight we got into, “Well, she started it!”

(Sorry, I just had to include one JAMES THURBER cartoon and since it's set in a court, welllll)