Weight For It

As noted in a previous blog, women don’t dress to impress men, they dress to impress other women.  Oh sure, you’ll find several who will but on leather hot pants and halter top who have the aim to draw in men, but they are more the exception. However, men more than likely dress just for comfort or to express some level of society (ie, I got money, babe). 

This phenomenon is reversed when it comes to weight.

Women will try to lose weight (or cheat and wear a girdle) when they want to attract a male. If they are worried about their weight and encounter a man they want to know, they’ll actually mention the problem, but explain it in an attempt to throw the man off.

“I used to be so skinny, but gained weight right after breaking my leg/giving birth/disasterous break up.”

They will genuinely attempt to lose the weight. After they begin a new relationship whether they begin to regain again or not often varies. But that’s a different blog.

Men completely reverse the attraction issue when it comes to weight.  If they try to lose weight and get fit, it’s more to impress other men then it is to attract a female. They want to look ripped so they’ll impress other guys about how tough they are.

“You see this six-pack of abs, buddy?  Yeah, I could take you so don’t even think about it.”

That’s right, it’s that old competitive thing surfacing again. In a previous blog I mentioned how men are always competitive and women often see it as childish and aggressive. When a guy hits a gym to lift a few weights it’s so he can compete with the other males and flaunt his toughness/muscles.

Oh sure, there are some of these males who also want to attract a female. They might parade on muscle beach in front of some bikinis that are beckoning, but they are more of the exception.  As noted in another blog, women are just as superficial as men, but while we men look for hot bodies, they look for large wallets.  Even men who get fit know this, but they often want an alternate way to make an approach.

Of course, there are men who don’t want to be in this competition and are content with their beer bellies. They’ll suck in their guts when a woman walks by, hoping it will impress her enough so he can whip out his gold credit card and really make an impact.

The majority though take part in the competition, although on different levels. Some go full tilt and hit the gym, run, lift weights and really make an effort. The other spectrum are the guys who will just try to eat one less hamburger to lose a few pounds here and there and cross their fingers that when they go to play golf with other males, those males will be impressed that he still fits in his last pair of golf shorts.

So if you are a female and want to try to get on a guy’s good side, you could compliment him on his physique. He may appreciate that, but remember, he’s really trying to determine if the guy behind you thinks he's tough. It’s just like how us guys can compliment our significant other about the dress she decided on, but she’s really trying to impress that female waitress who will wait on you at the restaurant. 

Same game, just different equipment.

 

Ah, James Thurber

 

 

Meet The Blogger

The Thurber Brigade has been blogging for eight years now.  Blogging initially about relationships and the interaction between men and women, but expanding to politics, daily living and more. Well, it's about time to give a little insight into this clever (in his mind) writer. So below is a short pictorial history of the author.

My writing space, early days

As noted, I'm a writer and you can see the books on the right side of the page. I've written short stories and news articles as well as political pamphlets and okay, graffiti in bathrooms.

In the past, I was an academic advisor at The University of Texas.

Advising at UT

Orienting new students

Years ago, I was a grunt (infantry) in the 82nd Airborne.

Jungle training in Panama

A young paratrooper

 

Scotland, Australia, The UK, Europe, Panama, Mexico, Canada are the places I've visited overseas.

Jay at Loch Lomond

Jay at Sydney Harbour

Hiking in the mountains is one of my favorite pastimes.

Avalanche Lake, Glacier NP

Hurricane Ridge, Olympic NP

Boy, do I love sports, especially hockey.

Jay at The Joe

Meeting Lord Stanley

 

 

 

 

 

Besides watching and playing sports, I've also coached and reffed (I could mention a book I wrote about coaching, but never got it published).

In action

Jay the Coach

Just finished reffing, coaching in rec league

 

I'm pretty fond of going to beer festivals too.

At GABF with St. Arnold

Oregon Brewers Fest

Over the years, I've had numerous pets.

Jay's Posse (circa 2012)

The Copy (cat) Editor

Well, like most people, I have tons of pictures (click on these to see larger version), but this should give you a little more background behind the poison pen at The Thurber Brigade. Sorry, no childhood pictures. Gotta save those for Part II at some later date.

 Okay, just one.

Zorro!

Ahhh, James Thurber

Okay, I know this blog may appear vain and self-glorious. A bunch of pictures of Jay? Sheesh. Well, it may seem that way but it's really more of a touch of laziness and distractions too many to count. I wanted to have some sort of blog for January, but hey, I watched a little too much football, got too excited about politics and maybe celebrated a few holidays a little too much. I'll get back to my more snarky, funny and maybe a little insightful blogs real soon. Trust me.

Peace Talks

The Thurber Brigade sent a reporter to the recent peace talks in Paris and filed this report:

Not since 1973 and the notorious Paris Peace Accords have two such bitter rivals met in this city to try to resolve their differences. However, after eons of conflict in the War Between Men and Women, both combatants agreed to begin negotiations to end the acrimonious combat.

The two sides are a diverse group. Bob Blevins is one of the male negotiators, while on the other side sits Shiela Blevins, his wife of 30 years.  Another female diplomat is Sandra Canton the famous Hollywood actress and sitting opposite of her is Howard Eisenthal the mega-blockbuster director.  Also from the arts field is Stan Boles the music producer, opposite of Elly Withers the pop singer/fem fatale. Completing the contingent is politician Richard Tork from Texas who sits opposite the international diplomat Fran Cleaver.

The discussion got off to a rocky start as the two sides could not decide on a table.  The women objected to the long rectangle suggested by the males as they contended it represented a phallic symbol, while the oval advocated by the females was likewise rejected for its female genital similarity. They eventually settled on a series of small desks that each could sit behind separately and set up opposite each other. 

“He constantly watches football games and drinks beer,” Shiela Blevins stated early in the talks.

“She's completely exaggerating,” Bob interjected.  “Plus, all day she watches nothing but soap operas while I slave away putting food on the table.”

The Hollywood pair also got in some early jabs:

“Eisnethal will no longer cast me in parts because he thinks I’m too old Ms. Canton exclaimed.

“Age is a factor for male actors as well as female,” the director countered.  “Audiences want younger actors for younger parts. I just  cast for what will sell tickets. Gender is not a factor.”

“I have the same problem with my music,” Withers chimed in. “This so called music producer won't work on my albums because I gained a little weight,” she said, nodding at Boles.

“Ha! What she doesn't say is that it was her thin body tucked into those revealing Daisy Dukes that sold the million albums.  If her voice had sold them, I’d work with her without hesitation. But now she wants to change the way consumers view her without any effort or change, such as losing the weight she gained due to her success.”


“Tork uses the guns on the military’s tanks as a symbol of his masculinity and to prove how macho he is when confronting problems,” Cleaver chimed in to the fray.


“Well, this so called diplomat believes that for every situation you should sit down with your opponent and talk about your feelings,” Tork fumed, nodding at Cleaver.

The arguing continued for days and just like the Vietnam talks, often would end with no peace treaty only to begin again weeks later.  After the most recent gathering, the two sides gave up again when neither could decide what was appropriate clothing to wear on a date as well as whether women should make an effort to make first contact or whether men should be more willing to discuss feelings.

As of this writing the war continues unabated and just as acrimonious as before.  Inside sources indicate the two sides may meet again in Geneva if they can decide on who should cater the gathering.

 Ahh, Thurber

Our Defenses are Offensive: A Brigade Sidestep

In ancient times (the 80s), I used to always wear some button on my shirt.  This was partially to prove to the world how cool I was, but also often to make a statement of some kind.  My favorite button, which I wore most often, was a small version of the #6 button worn by Patrick McGoohan in "The Prisoner." That could, and might be, a blog all in itself.

Other buttons were one that said "question reality" one was the symbol yin and yang, and one said "our defenses are offensive" and had a picture of a

missile on it. This latter one implied that not only was it offensive that we had enough nukes to blow the world up dozens of times, but also that we used supposedly defensive weapons offensively. 

I bring this up in a sidestep because Trump has succumbed to the military's wishes and agreed to send more troops to Afghanistan.  I'll get to that war shortly, but I think it's important to bring up some topics about our military.

For example, we spend more on our military then the next 12 high spenders combined.  This in itself is outrageous, but that Trump, for some reason, believes we need to spend even more is goofy.  I have some doubts he really believes the US needs to spend more, he sees his statements as just sound bites to appease the masses.  This unending pushing of money onto the military is undoubtedly attributed to the "military-industrial" complex Ike warned us about (but which congress/presidents love).

The "industrial" part of this evil alliance is easy to understand.  They want to make boatloads of money.  The military is a little more complicated.  Part of it is money because we see a ton of generals who retire and begin to lobby for

weapons manufacturers.  As a former enlisted person (note that none of us are ever recruited by weapons companies) it always chafed me that the military/generals loved spending big bucks on fancy and expensive weapon systems, but always bought the cheapest equipment for us grunts in the trenches.  Guess the companies can't make money off of things like boots, backpacks, tents, etc.  So they'll spend billions on a new jet, and about 69 cents for a rain poncho.

The military has an added incentive though for large spending excesses: they have a military mindset that big militaries win wars.  Oh sure, sending a military after another big military might be good when it's against a country.  It doesn't work for smaller insurrections and guerilla wars.  The military brass doesn't accept this.  A military solution doesn't work against a belief/ideology.  Ask the French about Algeria; the British about Ireland; the Soviet Union about Afghanistan and us about Vietnam (and now Afghanistan).

I’d add Iraq into the latter, but that might really set folks off.  Too many believe we won the war in Iraq.  Sure, we ousted Saddam Hussein, but even when we left there were still countless attacks going on including bombings by insurgents.  They had subsided a little, but it wasn’t due to “The Surge” as the military will tell you.  If you look at the record, you’ll see that after the surge we had higher casualties and more attacks against our forces.  It was only after the “Sunni Awakening” that things calmed down.  In other words, the people who lived there finally did something.

That’s related to Afghanistan too.  For some reason, many Americans think we drove out the Taliban.  However, when the Taliban were driven from the country, we had at best 1,000 troops there.  No, the Afghans drove out the Taliban.  The Northern Alliance and other warlords did it, admittedly with our logistical support as well as air and artillery firepower. 

It was only after the Taliban had been cleared out of the country that we began to infuse massive numbers of ground troops.  The military kept insisting we needed more and more troops, and different presidents listened.  However, what the military didn’t stress when asking for more troops was the actual number of enemy troops. 

I’ve heard non-military affiliated analysts claim that there may only be a total of 15-20,000 Taliban fighters.  So we increased our troops up to 100,000 at one time (2010) to face down a mere handful of fighters.  Our troops have some impressive weapons, body armor, night-vision goggles, etc., while the Taliban dress in robes and fight with 60s-era AK47s.  Our troops get to a battle in million dollar helicopters, they get to the battle by riding in 10-year old Nissan pickups. 

We finally wised up a little and have begun to let the Afghans do the fighting, with our troop level now at 8,000 (although recent reports state the military lied and we really have 11,000), but now the military says they want more.  So this never-ending war will continue.  I should point out that Iraq War featured a similar overwhelming level of troops versus the enemy.  Some estimated the insurgents in Iraq only numbered about 30,000 while we had at one time over 150,000.  But that’s a whole different can of worms.  The main point I’m getting at is when you listen to the military, they’ll always say they want more.  More troops, more equipment, more money.

We need to get away from this unbridled spending on the military and nation-building adventurism.  We have military personnel in 148 different countries.  We have actually bases in 38 of those nations.  How about spending equal to only the next top five other countries and investing that savings in things like universal healthcare and infrastructure improvements?  Let’s bring our troops home from half of those countries (if not more) and let those countries spend their own money on defense instead of using our resources.

People often say their son or daughter is fighting for our freedom by serving in the military.  No they aren’t.  They’re serving our country, but our freedom is not threatened by most of the countries where we have our troops stationed (or do you believe the Taliban is going to load troops onto ships and send them over here?).  So bring the troops home so they really are defending our shores and not someone else’s.  Let’s try to make our defenses defensive, not offensive.

"Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness."

Ahhh, James Thurber

The Thurber Brigade once again apologizes for this sidestep away from the usual "War Between Men and Women" (relationships), but as usual the author got annoyed and so, ta da, sidestep.  Annoyed that some military experts say we must send even more troops into another endless war.  Well, what makes an expert?  The author served in the military as a grunt, has researched the military for articles and books, has read over 100 books on the military and various wars.  Because he was a lowly enlisted person and not some high ranking general itching to send more troops into harm's way, he is not consulted about these things.  So at least he is able to get this off his chest.  The Thurber Brigade will get back to the straight and narrow next time. Maybe. 

First Contact

“…There is no starship mission more dangerous than that of First Contact. We never know what we will face when we open the door on a new world, how we will be greeted, what exactly the dangers will be.”  Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation (Season 4, episode 15, “First Contact.”)

Some angry feminists have the idea that every time a man approaches a woman he doesn't know and speaks to her, it's sexual harassment. She doesn't want to be bothered they say, or else state she has not done anything to warrant the intrusion. If the continuation of the species were left to women such as this, we'd be extinct in no time. Because it is up to man to make First Contact since females are too afraid to make any attempt.

 

Well, unless the guy is a rock star, pro athlete or movie star. Going up to a complete stranger is impossible for women. Too scary.

I should point out that I wouldn't be here if my father hadn't made First Contact with the beautiful young woman behind the counter of a small drug store. He had just rolled into a small Kansas town on a surveying project and was entranced. This is not a unique story, of course. A large portion of the US populace are happy couples because some guy walked up to a complete stranger and asked her out on a date.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, some men are subtle and clever, some are Neanderthals and resort to catcalls.  Also in the same vein, The Brigade discussed how men are required to throw out lines to meet women. Women will critique these lines, but would never attempt the endeavor themselves. It's too frightening for them; too much of a risk of getting rejected. 

 

So it's up to the male of the species to take the risk. To make First Contact. Oddly, women will often tell guys to "buck up" and take it (risk) like a man—even though they wouldn't dream of doing it themselves.

Interestingly, some women will make an attempt to meet a man they might know from work or some party where they might have had a brief chat (i.e. not a stranger), but never via a verbal message. Instead they attempt some elaborate scheme.

For example, I vaguely remember a woman writing about her scheme, either in a blog or newspaper personal essay, about trying to meet this handsome guy who had said "hi" to her in a park while jogging (wow, almost a stranger, except she had run past him many times before). Of course, in the story she never made mention of just going up to the guy and introducing herself.

The great plan failed, as might be expected, when instead of attracting her target some other "older" guy approached her instead. No it wasn't me, although I did take offense that she brought up his age and made it sound hideous. Come on, I'm not that old. Maybe. Anyway, she wasn't interested in this old guy and the end result is that she is not enjoying dating bliss with the handsome guy either.

In a lot of these schemes women dream up they usually believe they can offer signs to the man (yeah, I've blogged about these signs too) or else believe that men have ESP.

 

We don't.

 For example, one time while in a drug store a cute female seemed to follow me around. Even looking at athlete's foot spray when I stopped there. Not having ESP I wasn't sure if she was interested or was coincidentally looking for the same products that I was and her huge, mean boyfriend was waiting patiently for her around the next aisle (yeah, experienced that one). Needless to say, we never spoke.

A long time ago I remember a Cathy comic strip  in which Cathy and her friends were sitting around a table in a café. She brought up how it was the male who had to make First Contact, take all the risks, and that women would only come on board when they were absolutely sure they were safe. The other women just shrugged, said there was no reason to change now and nonchalantly went on to order their food.

In other words, even though women demand equality in everything, they don't mean it applies to social situations.  AND they admit/support the concept.

So perhaps by the time we achieve intergalactic space travel and trek to distant galaxies, women will have become equal to men—even in social settings. Until that faaarrrr off time, men will have to continue to wear the redshirts on those perilous away missions and initiate First Contact with the Femaliens they encounter.

(What? You were expecting another Thurber Sidestep? Sorry, but The Brigade believed it was time to quit getting angry at all the crap going on out there, from bad cops to loud-mouth, idiotic politicians, and get back to The War Between Men and Women. You're welcome.)

Ahhh, Thurber