Isn't She Attractive?

Quite a while ago in a blog I admitted I'm a “leg man.” I'm attracted to women with shapely legs. I attribute this to being a gung-ho jogger, and in fact give extra points to women who partake.  Of course, I got attacked by angry feminists who claimed I was too superficial. My counterpoint was that women were just as superficial as they admitted being attracted to a guy with money or star power (rock stars, etc.). 

Some of the feminists also stressed, vigorously, that I was sexist due to this attraction to the female form.  I summarily blogged about the difference between sexuality and sexism. Admittedly, that blog evolved into a rant about Trump, but you get the gist.

So yes, I’m attracted to the picture at the top of this blog because the woman has great legs. As has been discussed countless times in blogs, bars and bouts, er, conversations with the opposite sex, when you first meet someone, you have little to go on. You can't say you are attracted to the woman above because she has a great personality. You don't know that. You only have looks.

Of course, I guess you could postulate that maybe she does/doesn't have good taste in fashion. I'm more tempted to question her on whether she paid for her jeans in that condition, did she cut them up herself or did it happen due to wear and tear.

To me, it's so goofy that women—or men—buy something like that. I remember in my youth having jeans and patching them when they got holes. Admittedly it was partially a Sixties thing, but also common sense. You want to get your money's worth, so you patch the hole and keep on truckin'.

Of course, I was one of those who was brought up attending the Church of the Penny-pincher, and learned at the feet of Reverend MacFrugal.

So paying big bucks for clothing like above would certainly land me in Hell.  It doesn't make sense, nor cents. It's foolish and wasteful.  Maybe even shows a disdain for the common man who struggles to put food on the table and spends his/her money wisely and prudently.

It reminds me of going to a restaurant and seeing students there eating. Oh sure, we all need to eat, but when I was a student I lived on bologna and rice to avoid debt. My guess is that these kids have been given a credit card by their folks and have no sense of how much Dad, or Mom, have got to labor to pay the bills.

Likewise, I’ve been to countless music concerts and marvel that I see a lot of young people there.  Sure, when I was a student I would go listen to music, but it was always free shows, or else it was once a year event as it would wipe out my entertainment budget.  I doubt that’s the case of those I see at these things that cost upwards of $60 or more. No, I’m sure Mom and Dad are paying for it as well as the drinks, food and concert T-shirt that they all purchase.

And what’s with this new scooter fad?  Let’s say that it only costs one dollar for each trip (I’m sure it’s actually more). If the college student rides it to class and back each day, you are looking at a bill over $200 by the end of the semester.  My guess is they only think of the single dollar charge and can’t picture the true cost of extended use. Poor Dad.

Anyway, it drives me crazy that there are women who don’t even think about the cost of something, only the pleasure they’ll get out of said item.  I could never be attracted to someone like that.

 Ahhh, James Thurber

The Thurber Brigade apologizes for once again getting off topic. How this thing devolved into a rant about reckless spending we’re not sure.  However, why men are attracted to females is an important topic with many branches and we promise that sometime in the future we will really talk about attraction.  Maybe.

The Harvey Weinstein Blog

Many years ago in Springfield, a couple of enterprising young men decided to open a bank.  They were very creative and wanted a bank that everyone would want to visit.  Yes, they followed the banking laws, but cut corners.  They did this to provide services customers would shout about (and tell others).  For example, they offered loans that had a much lower interest rate than other banks.  In addition, they offered them to about everyone who applied. 

One of the corners they cut included not installing a bank vault.  They kept all the money stacked up on a table.  Oh, it was well behind the teller’s counter, but also in clear site of everyone who came into the bank.

“This way people will know their money is here,” one of the men explained.  “Not stashed away in some other business or unscrupulous enterprise.”

Their employees were very reliable and never took any of the money.  They also never talked to others about how the money sat on the table day and night.

The bank flourished.  One day a competing banker came in to investigate why this one had taken so much of his own business.  He almost immediately noticed the large pile of money on the table behind the tellers.  A little bell went off in his head.  He wandered back and forth in the lobby inspecting the bank.  He waved at the two men who started this thriving business then hurried out.  He laughed, whistled a tune and skipped a few times as he walked back to his own bank. 

Now although this banker did not look like a nice person, he wasn’t a thief either.  Oh, he had dirty stock deals and lousy loans like most of the other bankers, but he never robbed a bank.  This would be too easy though.  He could get away with this and no one would suspect him because, well, he was a banker.

Later that night he broke into the competing bank and took all the money off the table.  He giddily ran home, threw it on his bed, and rolled around in all the loot.  He really loved money.

The next day the police came and investigated, but could not figure out who stole the money.  They chastised the two bankers for not having a vault and walked out.  The police did promise to keep working on the case, but not much got accomplished.

The townspeople all expressed sorrow for the two men who got robbed, but also said the men should have invested in a vault or done something more positive to prevent the theft. 

Eventually the police found out that another banker stole the money.  After all, he was quite often seen with lots of money hanging out of his pockets and spending a great deal on chocolate and beer.  Other bankers swore they’d never do anything like steal or buy too much chocolate.  They all insisted they were good people.  The thief escaped to Tahiti.  No one believed he’d ever face justice, but they hoped he'd pay the price for this crime. 

The two young bankers commiserated with other bankers robbed of money.  These others never bothered to tell anyone or call the police until after this incident.  After all, they were bankers and wanted to stay in business. 

The outcry became louder and louder.  Soon all the bankers agreed they should never steal money.  After a year, the two young entrepreneurs wrote a book about the affair and made more money.  They opened a credit union.  To the relief of everyone, they also bought a bank vault.

Ahhhh, James Thurber

What do you mean you think The Thurber Brigade should have called this another sidestep?  It’s about relationships between men and women.  Don’t expect us to explain to you this allegory about the Harvey Weinstein controversy.  Sheesh, next you’ll want us to explain what the end of the TV show “Lost” meant, or to tell you how Koala bears somehow made it to Noah’s ark.  Like all GREAT literature, this is just another one you’ll have to think about on your own—although we’d really appreciate comments (no cursing please).

The Smirk of Reality—A Thurber Brigade Sidestep

Congress became enraged the other day during a committee hearing about how Martin Shkreli raised the price of an important drug by about 5000% (Daraprim went from $13.50 to $750 per pill). He had the audacity to smirk at those asking him questions. Often he would not even pay attention while they spoke. Just as often, he scoffed when he was called upon to answer them.

To further inflame them, after leaving the hearing, he tweeted that the inquiring congress folk were imbeciles.

I suspect their outrage wasn’t influenced so much on how the most hated man in the US raised the price of vital medicine as much as they hated the way he treated them.

How dare he not show this august group of people the respect they believe they deserve!

However, the truth is he just treated them the way all of Big Pharma perceives them. He treated them like the bought and sold patsies they have become. He treated them like the people who take millions of dollars in their money to do their bidding. He just didn't show the reverence for them that the other Big Pharma honchos do to present to the public a contrite face and therefore hide their true feeling for these pawns.

 

In other words, Shkreli treated them exactly the way Big Pharma would really like to treat them, but doesn’t so that congress people can keep their façade of being the people’s representatives alive.

The United States has the highest cost for medical drugs in the industrial world. For example Seroquel, which is used for insomnia, is $33 in Canada vs. $124 in the US.  Also, for the cancer drug Campath here is the price in various countries: United States: $2,400; France: $760; Sweden $660; Britain $570; Italy $500.  The cost of Nexium (used for acid reflux) is only $23 in Holland, while if you buy it here you pay $215.

The reason for this disparity is because congress refuses to regulate Big Pharma. In fact, they’ve even passed legislation that makes it against the law for the government (yes, the entity they work for) to shop around for cheaper prices for US Medicare recipients.  This way congress keeps Big Pharma happy and they keep getting big bucks from lobbyists for their political campaigns.

So congress will continue to ignore regulating Big Pharma (as well as Big Oil, Wall Street, etc.) so they may continue to get the largess they adore.  However, they will also continue to express their anger at Shkreli and may even level a “contempt of congress” fine of several thousand dollars. By my reckoning, that will be equivalent to about three or four of those pills he sells.

**The Thurber Brigade apologizes for once again veering off the road of the War Between Men and Women and assures everyone that it will return to the straight and narrow soon. We had really planned to write about something else (and will shortly publish it) but couldn't miss the chance to not only make fun of this evil man, but also get a stab in at congress. I know, too easy of a target. Sorry. 

Ahhh, James Thurber

What did he say?

Okay, admittedly it's been a bit since The Thurber Brigade traveled down the path of relationships, but bear with me for one more blog about SEX. 

Of course, by that I mean SEX and the AMERICAN MALE.  For those who skipped the last blog (shame on you by being scared by the title), here's a little description:

Take a zany trip through American culture all within the pages of SEX and the AMERICAN MALE. Zack Hardiman loses his mind one day after he discovers he doesn't own a single T-shirt or magazine that isn't covered with advertising. After a short rehabilitation in Doctor Thomas’ World Famous Mellow Recovery Sanctuary, he begins an adventure to explore American life and soon discovers how advertising, politics and mindless sloganeering permeates and controls every aspect of our lives.

In SEX and the AMERICAN MALE everything is fair game in this quick, fun read as the author parodies and satirizes everything from America's fascination with massive gas-chugging autos to science fiction conventions.

Makes you want to log on to Amazon.com right now and buy it, doesn't it? Whatever.

That was a sly nod to the book by the way. I throw in a "whatever" now and then as a slight stab at Americans who use it relentlessly and usually as a form of conversational surrender.

The real purpose of this blog though, is so I can make up all sorts of silly statements readers of SEX and the AMERICAN MALE can make by being in possession of this funny, thigh slapping tome (did that description convince you to buy? Just $2 at Barnes & Noble)

Once you get SEX you will be able to impress your friends by saying:

• “Yes, I really enjoyed SEX last night.”
• "Sex last night was fantastic!"
• "Of course I enjoyed SEX on my flight to LA."
• "I have a little SEX every night right before turning off the light."

You can also try to make those relatives you are not fond of having over feel a little uneasy by casually saying these phrases:

• "My friends and I really enjoyed SEX last night—together."
• "My biker boyfriend and I so enjoyed SEX this afternoon, we may tackle it again tonight after you leave."
• "I laughed a lot during SEX the other evening. Your daughter did too."
• "The cops would probably be upset if they knew I was enjoying SEX while driving."

As you see, the funny and maybe a little bizarre statements you can make if you own a copy of SEX and the AMERICAN MALE are endless.  So buy a copy today (still just $2 at KOBO) and come up with your own SEX phrases.

Oh, did I mention the SEX FaceBook page? Surf over to it today and "like" SEX.

An Apology: I want to take this final moment to apologize to those readers who believe I am making fun of them because they might be a little queasy about seeing and reading the word SEX over and over.  Or to those who think I'm using it as a blatant ploy (like the advertisers I chide in the book) to get people to read this blog.  I am of course, but nevertheless, sorry.

This is about SEX

 One of the most common conversations I remember having with various exes is the one they start by calling me a sexist. I'm sure you've encountered this too as it's one all males face when we stare just a little too long at the female at the bar wearing Daisy Dukes.

We're sexist pigs because we're attracted to, well, attractive women.

It doesn't matter that when you first meet someone, all you have to go on is looks. Oh, sure, after you know someone for a little time you begin to know about their habits, likes, dislikes, etc. The thing we call personality. But at first, it's just looks.

Since women don't ever make the first move, they can claim that they are not like this (it's their superiority pose). Men though are pigs because we act on biological urges. We make the first connection based on how pleasing the female is to the eye.  The problem here (besides what I mentioned about first contact) is that women do not understand the difference between sexism and sexuality.

Webster’s  defines sexism as: behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex.

Men are not stealing glances at that cute woman's legs because they believe the female cannot be good at their job of accountant, it's because we're thinking about how we can get to the point where we’re running our hands over those shapely legs.

We don't think that the only thing a woman is good for is for having sex, we're thinking HOW can we get that woman to HAVE sex.

We’re not stereotyping them as only good for sex, it's that we are craving them FOR sex.

This doesn't make us sexist pigs. It makes us sex-crazed pigs. Big difference.

Women don't seem to get this. For example, they lump us sex-crazed types in to the same group as the GOP politician or Moral Majority type who say that women should stick to the kitchen.

Oh, I'm sure there are sex crazed GOP representatives too. However, don't throw us normal guys in with those who believe that women are not as competent as men in everything or with the likes of those white bread heathens who think it's okay to force women to have unwanted ultrasounds.

(photo: Leslie Danovich)

And truth be told, women are just as bad. How often have you heard some female drool about Justin Timberlake or the Boss or some guy with a set of six-pack abs? Of course, they won't do anything about it, nor admit that they are basing this craving on looks (or fame, wealth, etc,). In other words, classic double standard.

They typically will say that they are just asserting themselves as sexual beings (although they are not asserting themselves by trying to meet the male) and are not sexist and thinking that all that the male is good for is sex. Obviously, men who do the same thing (be assertive) are sexist.

Another classic example of women not knowing the difference between sexism and sexuality, is in clothing. Men are attracted to females who wear skimpy or provocative clothing. Women view this as sexism even though we are not thinking how that woman in the tight latex pants is incapable of being a successful lawyer. No, we're thinking about how we can peel off those painted-on latex pants once we get her to the bedroom.

Women do the same thing all the time. They cast longing glances at the guy in the $600 Italian suit, but don't give a hoot about the guy with the Dallas Cowboy sweatshirt. They claim they are not being sexist by thinking of men as only good for showering them with money. They are being sexual by dreaming of a life with a man who knows how to dress for public excursions. I should also point out how this relates to their being just as superficial as men, but I discussed this before, so we'll skip this for now.

 So once again it's a no win situation for the male. Basically, if a woman doesn’t like some action by a man, he’s a sexist.  There is no use arguing because you will just be cast further into the sexist pig category. It's best just to try to change the subject and do your best to not get caught stealing a peek at that woman who just walked into the bar in the shortest miniskirt you ever saw (which the man is scheming on how to remove).

 Where did that miniskirt disappear to?

(images courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/)