Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

The General(ist)


One of the funniest TV shows to air happened years ago: Seinfeld.  A "show about nothing."  In one particular hilarious episode, the gang wandered aimlessly around a mall parking lot looking for their car.  Jerry desperately needs "to go" and Kramer suggests he just go in the corner.  He comes up with some excuse why he believes it is okay, so Jerry shrugs and goes off to do his business.  Of course, he gets arrested.

The reason I bring this up, besides that it's a fun memory from the past, is that this happens in the show all the time.  The characters always just accept each other's statement as truth.  They believe the person knows what he/she talks about.  All forms of mayhem usually follow and we get to enjoy their antics to try to overcome the situation.
This is similar in blogging.  When we bloggers type out our posts, most people assume we're experts, or at least, know what we're talking about.  Oh, I'm sure in some cases this could be true especially if it is some specific and maybe technical subject (How to bake the perfect birthday cake, etc.), but for the most part the reality is that we are "Generalists.”  We speak in generalities or with a biased perspective.We know a little about a lot.
 


My classic example concerns the blog I wrote about women drivers.  Boy, did that piss off some radical feminists (ok, maybe a number of none extreme females too).  The reason why they became outraged was because when I said, "women were indecisive drivers" they equated it to mean ALL women were that way--even though I never said a quantity.  They didn't take it into account that maybe it could just be some, a few, or, what it really was, only the handful I have encountered at a 4-way stop.  I generalized.

I see this in other blogs all the time, especially women's blogs.  They rant about evil men and how we may have only evolved slightly in the past millennia--which may be true--but more than likely should be thought of as a general statement about some of the guys she knows.
We see this a LOT in politicians.  They are experts in talking generally.  This is so they can walk back what they said after it's shown they are complete assholes.

"The media mis-represented what I said" is the most common way for them to escape the firestorm they created by opening their mouths.
As you can guess, advertisers specialize in this.  With words like "natural" "organic" "environmentally-friendly" and other general words, they twist and turn the truth to their liking.  What?  You thought that apple you bought was organic?  Well, it is a fruit and grows on a tree, so yeah, it's organic.  It also is sprayed with insecticide, fed weird chemicals to help it grow and goes through other less than natural processes.  But it is organic.
Sometimes the government will step in and insist there be a little less generality to a statement.  For example, a drink can't call itself  "juice" unless it's 100% from the fruit.  In other words, orange juice is different than orange drink which might have all forms of other ingredients included. But even here they can be sneaky. For example, a cherry drink could say it has real juice in it, but that juice might not be the cherry you think it should have.  Most likely it's grape juice with cherry flavoring. The ad would be something like this: Blobo Cherry Drink-with real juice.

Ah, generality.

So just like you should look with skepticism at advertising, especially that by politicians, remember to be cautious about us bloggers too.  Most bloggers welcome, and encourage, comments.  So the next time a blogger tells you "a funny thing happened to me today," be sure and ask if it really happened today, did it really happen to him/her or a person near him/her and maybe whether he/she might be embellishing a bit?  Be friendly though.  We bloggers have very fragile egos (generally speaking).

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Sex! Hot SEX!

A note from the publisher of SEX and the American Male

   (The Thurber Brigade was approached by the owner of BIG BEN BOOKS who wanted to make a public statement about the book. After he made a large contribution to The Brigade Retirement/Party Fund we relented)      

So, did the title of this article excite you? Of course it did! You are a warm-blooded human and so you love SEX. Who wouldn't? That's the power behind the great book I published: SEX and the AMERICAN MALE.

Hello, I am Benito "Big Ben" Cantolini, and I just wanted to set the record straight about this hot, lurid book. I know that many readers have complained because the author of SEX and the AMERICAN MALE keeps declaring that there is no SEX in his book. Nonsense!


There is a ton of lurid, raunchy SEX in the book and also plenty of explicit photos to go along with the ribald words. Pictures like this:

Of course this picture is not as explicit as in the book because the author won't let me show that in his blog, but trust me, the pictures are twice as hot as this one.

This is another example of the hot sex you will encounter in SEX and the AMERICAN MALE (but again because of the author this one is relatively tame).
People have also told me that they were disappointed that the author didn't use graphic descriptions and evocative language in describing the incredible SEX acts in the book.  Bull pucky (dang author won't let me use expletives)!

I can't believe the number of times he uses the words penis and vagina (but of course the more lurid versions) in SEX and the AMERICAN MALE!
(the author insisted I add this)
And the penises in the book are huge! Not wimpy like that certain businessman running for president, but gigantic! The author goes to extremes describing the male SEX organ and how it interacts with the female genitalia (darn author won't let me describe that either).
Now, some folks keep saying that I came up with the title of the book to stimulate more sales. They also say it is a cynical allusion to how advertisers use SEX and erotic images to lure unsuspecting customers to their product. These are atrocious lies! The title is purely a declaration of the blatant and plentiful SEX scenes in the book.

Because of the lurid SEX in the book, similar to this photo but much more graphic, book sales are through the roof!
I especially don't want you to be fooled by some of the reviews of the book you'll find on Amazon.com. Ones like:
 Reviews
✯✯✯✯  Sex and the American Male by Jay Williams has absolutely nothing to do with sex, but everything to do with advertising and the messages it sends you.

✯✯✯✯ The twists are unexpected as exemplified case and point in the notion that sex sells, and Williams finds a clever way of reminding us of this throughout.

No the real reviews were censored by Amazon because they too were too graphic! They said things like:

✯✯✯✯ "Man when Zack ---- to Mist ---- and repeatedly ---- the ----"
✯✯✯✯ "I can't believe the author was allowed to describe ---- and ---- ---- not to mention the time he ---- a---- ----"

As you can tell, that's some lurid, steamy and maybe illegal SEX.
So I hope this clears things up about SEX and the AMERICAN MALE and the gargantuan amount of SEX in the book.
Get yourself some SEX at these HOT websites:
Amazon.com
Barnes & Noble
Kobo
BookBaby
Scribd.
Copia
Ciando
iTunes
GoodReads

Also, be on the lookout for these future steamy books from Big Ben's Publishing:
SEX at Sea
SEX on a Plane
SEX and the American Female
SEX, SEX and more SEX

The Thurber Brigade apologizes to those readers offended by the above comments from the publisher as well as those offended by the repeated and blatant use of the word SEX since we know there are a ton of angry feminists out there who already think that we are SEXist pigs and too often use SEX to make a point or stimulate readers through the arbitrary use of that word and SEXual imagery. We also want to apologize if we continue to imply you are wimble-brain prudes who have the sense of humor of a sea slug and the intellect of Donald Trump supporters and wouldn't recognize satire/parody if it kicked you in a SEX organ. Sorry.
Ahhhh, James Thurber!

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

What did he say?


Okay, admittedly it's been a bit since The Thurber Brigade traveled down the path of relationships, but bear with me for one more blog about SEX
Of course, by that I mean SEX and the AMERICAN MALE.  For those who skipped the last blog (shame on you by being scared by the title), here's a little description:

Take a zany trip through American culture all within the pages of SEX and the AMERICAN MALE. Zack Hardiman loses his mind one day after he discovers he doesn't own a single T-shirt or magazine that isn't covered with advertising. After a short rehabilitation in Doctor Thomas’ World Famous Mellow Recovery Sanctuary, he begins an adventure to explore American life and soon discovers how advertising, politics and mindless sloganeering permeates and controls every aspect of our lives.

In SEX and the AMERICAN MALE everything is fair game in this quick, fun read as the author parodies and satirizes everything from America's fascination with massive gas-chugging autos to science fiction conventions.

Makes you want to log on to Amazon.com right now and buy it, doesn't it? Whatever.

That was a sly nod to the book by the way. I throw in a "whatever" now and then as a slight stab at Americans who use it relentlessly and usually as a form of conversational surrender.
The real purpose of this blog though, is so I can make up all sorts of silly statements readers of SEX and the AMERICAN MALE can make by being in possession of this funny, thigh slapping tome (did that description convince you to buy? Just $2 at Barnes & Noble)
Once you get SEX you will be able to impress your friends by saying:
  • “Yes, I really enjoyed SEX last night.”
  • "Sex last night was fantastic!"
  • "Of course I enjoyed SEX on my flight to LA."
  • "I have a little SEX every night right before turning off the light."
You can also try to make those relatives you are not fond of having over feel a little uneasy by casually saying these phrases:
  • "My friends and I really enjoyed SEX last night—together."
  • "My biker boyfriend and I so enjoyed SEX this afternoon, we may tackle it again tonight after you leave."
  • "I laughed a lot during SEX the other evening. Your daughter did too."
  • "The cops would probably be upset if they knew I was enjoying SEX while driving."
As you see, the funny and maybe a little bizarre statements you can make if you own a copy of SEX and the AMERICAN MALE are endless.  So buy a copy today (still just $2 at KOBO) and come up with your own SEX phrases.

Oh, did I mention the SEX FaceBook page? Surf over to it today and "like" SEX.


An Apology: I want to take this final moment to apologize to those readers who believe I am making fun of them because they might be a little queasy about seeing and reading the word SEX over and over.  Or to those who think I'm using it as a blatant ploy (like the advertisers I chide in the book) to get people to read this blog.  I am of course, but nevertheless, sorry.