Baby You Can Drive My Car, Part II

Probably about 99% of the people here in the US are good, decent people no matter their politics, religious views, etc.  However, put them behind the wheel of a car and that percentage drops rapidly.  Maybe only about 45%.  Oh sure, I admit I can get a little crazy behind the wheel too.  Not so much the raging nut who points a gun at a guy who passes him, but likely the guy who will slow down if the guy behind me turns on his high beams.  Oh, and I shout a lot at people who can't hear me. You know, the bad drivers.  Such as the guy who turns on his signal as he makes a turn instead of before.

Anyway, when I wrote my blog about women drivers back in 2014 it created a firestorm of anger from feminists (like people with road rage but without the guns—or cars).  Even though I pointed out how women always complain about men drivers, and even though I was real general and didn't say all women or many women, in fact it probably only related to about four.  These angry women went nuts.

 They harassed me on Twitter and Facebook, complained to HR at the place I used to work at and unfriended or blocked me on social media.

The truth about that blog though is that every mannerism I complained about could just as easily apply to men.  For example, I may see more "creepers" (you'll have to see the previous blog) who are male than female.  That is, all the mannerisms except one:

I honestly believe that females have no clue about how to react at a four-way stop.

When you come to a 4-way stop and you see that your opponent is a female, nine times out of ten you should drive on no matter that you got there after she did.  If you get there simultaneously, regardless that she is to the right, go ahead and drive on.  She will not go.

I have been walking past a 4-way stop and observed on numerous occasions three women pull up to the stop.  Invariably, it will be at least ten seconds before anyone dares to go.  That's an eternity to a male in that situation.

I have also been the last to get to an intersection with two other males and a female—who got there first—and all of the males drove on before she did.

In the previous blog I swore this failure to navigate a traffic situation boiled down to them not being able to make decisive decisions quickly.  That's still a possibility, but it could also be because of a few other stereotypical ideas we guys assign to females:

- Fear of breaking the rules

- Fear of offending someone

- Fear of making everyone angry

- Fear of doing the wrong thing

These aren't bad things.  It could mean that they are more agreeable, more loving, kinder, etc. and so they yield to others to display this quality.  

To males though, it means...well, I'll leave that to the millions of female bloggers to tell us what men think.  Just rest assured that The War Between Men and Women is acted out every day at those 4-way stops.   

Think I'll get a lawn chair and go sit at one to see it all play out—and to get more material for future blogs.

Ahhh, James Thurber

We at The Thurber Brigade wish to apologize for those offended by this blog.  We wish to, but we don't because, well, women just don't seem to understand 4-way stops.  James Thurber understood 4-way stops although with his bad eyesight we guess he didn't drive much.

The General(ist)

One of the funniest TV shows to air happened years ago: Seinfeld.  A "show about nothing."  In one particular hilarious episode, the gang wandered aimlessly around a mall parking lot looking for their car.  Jerry desperately needs "to go" and Kramer suggests he just go in the corner.  He comes up with some excuse why he believes it is okay, so Jerry shrugs and goes off to do his business.  Of course, he gets arrested.

The reason I bring this up, besides that it's a fun memory from the past, is that this happens in the show all the time.  The characters always just accept each other's statement as truth.  They believe the person knows what he/she talks about.  All forms of mayhem usually follow and we get to enjoy their antics to try to overcome the situation.

This is similar in blogging.  When we bloggers type out our posts, most people assume we're experts, or at least, know what we're talking about.  Oh, I'm sure in some cases this could be true especially if it is some specific and maybe technical subject (How to bake the perfect birthday cake, etc.), but for the most part the reality is that we are "Generalists.”  We speak in generalities or with a biased perspective.We know a little about a lot.

 

My classic example concerns the blog I wrote about women drivers.  Boy, did that piss off some radical feminists (ok, maybe a number of none extreme females too).  The reason why they became outraged was because when I said, "women were indecisive drivers" they equated it to mean ALL women were that way--even though I never said a quantity.  They didn't take it into account that maybe it could just be some, a few, or, what it really was, only the handful I have encountered at a 4-way stop.  I generalized.

I see this in other blogs all the time, especially women's blogs.  They rant about evil men and how we may have only evolved slightly in the past millennia--which may be true--but more than likely should be thought of as a general statement about some of the guys she knows.

We see this a LOT in politicians.  They are experts in talking generally.  This is so they can walk back what they said after it's shown they are complete assholes.

"The media mis-represented what I said" is the most common way for them to escape the firestorm they created by opening their mouths.

As you can guess, advertisers specialize in this.  With words like "natural" "organic" "environmentally-friendly" and other general words, they twist and turn the truth to their liking.  What?  You thought that apple you bought was organic?  Well, it is a fruit and grows on a tree, so yeah, it's organic.  It also is sprayed with insecticide, fed weird chemicals to help it grow and goes through other less than natural processes.  But it is organic.

Sometimes the government will step in and insist there be a little less generality to a statement.  For example, a drink can't call itself  "juice" unless it's 100% from the fruit.  In other words, orange juice is different than orange drink which might have all forms of other ingredients included. But even here they can be sneaky. For example, a cherry drink could say it has real juice in it, but that juice might not be the cherry you think it should have.  Most likely it's grape juice with cherry flavoring. The ad would be something like this: Blobo Cherry Drink-with real juice.

Ah, generality.

So just like you should look with skepticism at advertising, especially that by politicians, remember to be cautious about us bloggers too.  Most bloggers welcome, and encourage, comments.  So the next time a blogger tells you "a funny thing happened to me today," be sure and ask if it really happened today, did it really happen to him/her or a person near him/her and maybe whether he/she might be embellishing a bit?  Be friendly though.  We bloggers have very fragile egos (generally speaking).

Raison d'être

Believe it or not this blog has been going on now for four years. Or I should say irritating women for four years. I began it for two reasons. One because once on Facebook a woman didn't like that I had an opposing view about something she posted (I think it was about how she felt sorry for the negative reaction to a 400 pound woman; I mentioned that it was the woman's fault for a lack of discipline/discretion). She told me she deleted my post. When I protested she responded by saying I should just write my own post. Instead I started a blog. Second, when I began exploring blogs to determine a focus for The Brigade I discovered that there were about 1,000 female blogs to each male blog.

So I thought why not be a lonely voice calling out from the desert? Of course it has it's perils. As I've stated before, if a man says something about a women he's a misogynist but if a female says something about a man, well, that's just biting social commentary. I really pissed some feminists off with my driving blog.

Also, I've been told that my blog is sexist because I post pictures of scantily clothed females. It doesn't matter if I don't say they are incapable at some occupation or only good for sex. To some angry feminists, I'm not being sexual, I'm being sexist. It doesn't matter if females make sexual comments or post pictures of Justin Timberlake, as they are just expressing their inner sexual being. In other words, there seems to be a double standard here.

Therefore, here are a few examples of female blogs/articles that encourage me to wither the storm of feminine anger.

He's a great guy, but this woman thinks that he may in fact be a "Wuss."  Another blog says that a guy can be TOO nice, and if so, is probably just a "Wuss" (a popular term women use when talking about men they are not impressed with).  Along those lines, this woman doesn't think her boyfriend makes enough money.  I've actually seen a few blogs that equate the two types as the same. Anyway, a while back I wrote how women complained that men stereotyped women based on looks. I pointed out how women were just as stereotypical, as they often wanted men to be well off (wealthy).

(I still haven't figured out why they used this picture)

Her boyfriend likes to take things slow and also has a habit of doing certain things that seem odd to her, so he must be a control freak.

This blog seems to focus on letters about bad relationships and then the blogger gives advice. I had a blog that points out that no matter what a guy does, he can't win. For some reason, her blog just reinforces my point. 

As I mentioned above, I really caused some feminists brains to explode when I wrote about women drivers. I should point out that first off, I never stated that this related to all women, the angry fems just assumed that. Also, I start off the blog by noting how women often intone various stereotypes about men's driving. That apparently didn't register with them. 

Anyway, as you might expect you can find all sorts of complaints about some woman's boyfriend scaring the shaving cream out of her when he drives, or  really worries her and makes her uncomfortable. These articles/blogs usually have a lot of woman making comments that agree that males are one scary breed when they get behind the wheel. Yeah, we are.

Many women bloggers seem to enjoy pointing out that men are much crazier then women.  Typically, these relate to how a guy may try to get a female's attention or about his commitment to the female. I blogged about how women send out mystical signs to try to let men know they are interested as well as also pointed out that women are more afraid of commitment then men.  Boy, got some angry emails about those.

Of course, sooner or later you'll run across a female blog about trying to find that perfect man.  Sadly, I have never been brave enough to write about finding the perfect woman because I don't want my house burned down. I did write one in which I profess that Pat Benatar is one hot woman.

An odd blog (in my book) tells women about how to determine if they are just being pursued for sex (be sure and check the title, it's hilarious).  Meanwhile, I blogged about how women have strange vision. For example, they will say "ewww" if they see a guy in a speedo—unless that guy is Justin Timberlake. Then they tend to drool.

For some reason, I appreciated the blog about whether to date an older man.  It made it sound like I might have a 50/50 chance.  This one reminds me of my "hunting tips" (really just dating tips for guys).  My blog came about because I had overheard a woman say she was disgusted because she saw an older man with a young female. I tried to stress that the person responsible for first contact (men, of course) should get to pick who they try to hook up with.

Very similar to that is the blog about the worst first date ideas of men. It's alluding that men are all scumbags because they actually do stuff like what she writes about. Oh sure, there are all sorts of guys out there and each one does something that sets a woman off, but the overall thought of the blog is that men are losers. My stereotype and hunting tips blogs weren't subtle enough when I compare it to this which is why they got a much worse reception.

I allude to sex quite often and use pictures of semi-nude females to not so subtly allude to sex. However, if you want an extreme version of a female blog, be sure and see DarkGracie's blog (prudes need not follow the link). If you are annoyed by my pictures of females in bikini's then you should be just as livid at pictures of dildos that seem to populate some women blogs.

As I noted, I often use pictures of women with little on in the way of clothing, well, women do the same thing with pictures of men.

She complains about a date with a guy, including him showing up late, his driving, etc. I have yet to blog about a bad date, but I have blogged about a near miss. Oh, btw, yes, I have a cat.

Although I could go on and on, the last one I want to point out is about a woman who is madly in love with a guy, but won't tell him.  Oh, she talks to him, but she believes he should have ESP and know how she feels about him without giving him a verbal clue.  This is so related to my last blog about First Contact and how women absolutely will not partake. Sigh.

So The Thurber Brigade will continue on its merry way.  Here and there pissing off an angry feminist or two (and take a sidestep or two way off topic) as we discuss The War Between Men and Women. And if one of the blogs irritates you are makes you mad, feel free to comment because as I mentioned in a blog before, I kinda like to rile people (and so enjoy comments). Don't be surprised though if you do make a comment about how I must be the devil's spawn because of my evil writing that more than likely I'll respond by just letting you know that it all came about because some woman started the, er, "discussion" with her clever female blog about us male neanderthals.

 

Ahhh, James Thurber