Weight For It

As noted in a previous blog, women don’t dress to impress men, they dress to impress other women.  Oh sure, you’ll find several who will but on leather hot pants and halter top who have the aim to draw in men, but they are more the exception. However, men more than likely dress just for comfort or to express some level of society (ie, I got money, babe). 

This phenomenon is reversed when it comes to weight.

Women will try to lose weight (or cheat and wear a girdle) when they want to attract a male. If they are worried about their weight and encounter a man they want to know, they’ll actually mention the problem, but explain it in an attempt to throw the man off.

“I used to be so skinny, but gained weight right after breaking my leg/giving birth/disasterous break up.”

They will genuinely attempt to lose the weight. After they begin a new relationship whether they begin to regain again or not often varies. But that’s a different blog.

Men completely reverse the attraction issue when it comes to weight.  If they try to lose weight and get fit, it’s more to impress other men then it is to attract a female. They want to look ripped so they’ll impress other guys about how tough they are.

“You see this six-pack of abs, buddy?  Yeah, I could take you so don’t even think about it.”

That’s right, it’s that old competitive thing surfacing again. In a previous blog I mentioned how men are always competitive and women often see it as childish and aggressive. When a guy hits a gym to lift a few weights it’s so he can compete with the other males and flaunt his toughness/muscles.

Oh sure, there are some of these males who also want to attract a female. They might parade on muscle beach in front of some bikinis that are beckoning, but they are more of the exception.  As noted in another blog, women are just as superficial as men, but while we men look for hot bodies, they look for large wallets.  Even men who get fit know this, but they often want an alternate way to make an approach.

Of course, there are men who don’t want to be in this competition and are content with their beer bellies. They’ll suck in their guts when a woman walks by, hoping it will impress her enough so he can whip out his gold credit card and really make an impact.

The majority though take part in the competition, although on different levels. Some go full tilt and hit the gym, run, lift weights and really make an effort. The other spectrum are the guys who will just try to eat one less hamburger to lose a few pounds here and there and cross their fingers that when they go to play golf with other males, those males will be impressed that he still fits in his last pair of golf shorts.

So if you are a female and want to try to get on a guy’s good side, you could compliment him on his physique. He may appreciate that, but remember, he’s really trying to determine if the guy behind you thinks he's tough. It’s just like how us guys can compliment our significant other about the dress she decided on, but she’s really trying to impress that female waitress who will wait on you at the restaurant. 

Same game, just different equipment.

 

Ah, James Thurber

 

 

The Story of Easter: A Thurber Brigade Rerun

Around 300 CE the Cardinal ran up to the Pope while in the most agitated state.  The Pope held up his hand in a calming manner to placate the worried man.

“Calm thyself Cardinal.”

“We have a crisis your excellency!” the Cardinal exclaimed.

“What crisis?”

“The people are dancing around naked and drinking heavily all in the name of Eostre!”

“Well, we can’t have that.  I have a plan though.  Go gather the people around and I will make a declaration.”

So, the Cardinal rushed off and after getting the people clothed and somewhat sober, convinced them to go and hear what the Pope wanted to tell them. 

“People there is a new holiday you should celebrate.  It is one that commemorates the death and resurrection of Jesus.  This holiday will be heretofore known as Easter!” the Pope exclaimed.

The people mumbled amongst themselves and looked questioningly at the Pope.  “Easter?” That sounds suspiciously like our favorite time of the year when we celebrate Eostre,” one man said.

“Um, no, no, it’s not related to Eostre at all,” the Pope assured him.

  Monty Python would celebrate Eostre

“It seems strange to celebrate someone’s death,” another peasant said to the Pope.  “I mean, it sounds rather bloody from the description your priests have told us in the past.”

“Yeah, and that story they tell about Jesus sure sounds a lot like the story of Inanna and Horus,” another person shouted.  “I mean, they were killed, went to the underworld and came back.”

“No, no, those stories are just myths. This story of Jesus is real. You can trust me,” the Pope said as convincingly as he could.

“We like Eostre though,” several others chimed in.  “We get to dance and drink, we paint eggs and carry around rabbits to celebrate the new spring and virility.”

“Well, you can still have eggs and rabbits,” the Pope said. 

“Can we dance and drink too?” a man at the back asked.

“Of course you can, although I think it best to keep your clothes on,” the Pope answered.

The people furrowed their brows and wrinkled their noses.  “We’re not sure about this holiday.”

“Oh, you’ll love it,” the Pope assured them. “You’ll have a great time.”

So the people decided to celebrate both holidays.  After all, the more holidays the better.  However, slowly but surely the Pope and his successors convinced them to just celebrate Easter. With time, he also got the people to calm down more and celebrate with less enthusiasm.

The church kept the eggs and rabbits, but got the people to dispense with the dancing and drinking. A small group of pagans didn’t like this turn of events and vowed to one day return the holiday to its more spirited nature. 

Slowly but surely the old Eostre followers have been stressing the eggs and rabbits.  So today you can actually find people telling stories of big rabbits hiding chocolate eggs. They sneakily got the church to offer sunrise services which celebrate an old solar celebration. Also, the pagans convinced the Pope to base the time of Easter on the phases of the moon.  They haven’t been able to bring back the wild dancing, but have had more luck with the drinking aspect with their Easter sales at liquor stores.

So whether you follow celebrations of Horus, Inanna, Eostre/Ostara or Easter we at The Thurber Brigade wish you a pleasant holiday.

 Ahhh, James Thurber

We at The Thurber Brigade apologize if this rerun sounds a little like our annual Christmas story.  We can't help that a certain religion co-opted several Pagan celebrations to try and win over the people. We also apologize to the serious religious types for making fun of the Pope, religion, myths, etc.  We don't regret it, nor doubt the above story has some basis in reality, but we apologize as we want you to continue to enjoy whatever holiday you celebrate. Cheers. 

 

 

Deja Vu Boulder

Sadly, this blog has made a number of sidesteps related to gun violence. Many of them dealt with police shooting an unarmed man, but a few also were about mass shooting of civilians.  

 

One of those blogs discussed how the NRA was founded as a shooting organization, not one for the protection of the 2nd Amendment. Plus, that same blog noted how the 2nd Amendment isn't really about gun ownership, it's about slavery, or rather, arming militias so they can control slaves.

 

Just like everyone, when a mass shooting event occurs I’m outraged that it could even happen. Unfortunately, here in the U.S. it’s become just a way of life. You can’t say we’re used to it, but you can say it’s a regular occurrence, and we've been doing it for a long time. 

 

Of course, nothing will be done to stop this repeating occurrence. The GOP, yes, just that party, will not allow anything to change. It doesn’t matter that gun regulation is very popular with everybody, because they don’t want to offend their big donors they will slam the door on reform.

 

So instead of me ranting again about how we need to stop this madness, or tell about how in the past the NRA actually believed in gun regulations, or how in the early history of our country we did regulate them (turn your weapon in to the sheriff before entering our town, cowboy) I’ll just go the symbolic route.

 

Play this video of the lonely sound of the wind sweeping across the plains as you look at the following pictures and think about the lives of those who will no longer be with us.  (Click this link to play the sound effect in the background)

 

Boulder, Colorado

Atlanta, Georgia

Pittsburgh

El Paso

Roseburg, Oregon

Sutherland Springs, Texas

Las Vegas

Orlando

Aurora, Colorado

Newtown, Connecticut (Sandy Hook)

Columbine, Colorado

 

 

 

 

I'm A Runner

Years ago my family was driving around and we passed by Jim Ryan on some back road in Kansas. He was running. I thought how impressive to be running alone on some out of the way road in the boonies.  For some reason that stuck with me

When I was in junior high my gym coach got angry with my class for leaving a few towels out in the locker room and for punishment led the entire class on a so called “fun run.” We ran over rolling hills on the school ground, through the athletic fields and even past a few classrooms. I loved it.

A friend and I began to do our own fun runs. We loved running long distances, seeing various neighborhoods and passing all sorts of friends and strangers surprised by two running kids (this was before jogging was a thing).

I continued running. Obviously, I ran while participating in various sports, but also ran on my own fun runs. Jogging not just to stay in shape for sports, but because running felt good. I could think clearer. I felt uplifted. Often great ideas for stories came to me. Or maybe I was stuck on a scene and the jog would present how to write out that scene. 

I'd run around nearby neighborhoods, if I saw something in the distance that looked interesting, I'd run toward it. If I noticed a hill that looked difficult, I'd test myself. Pushing myself to make it.

After I got out of the army (82nd Airborne, where we ran as a group,  but I'd still jog later on my own) and came back to Texas, I kept running. Often would do it twice a day. I remember telling a friend that I liked running in the heat, even when it was 90-100 degrees. “It makes me tougher.” (See my macho blog)

As much as I loved sports—I got a degree in physical education—I never joined a running type team. Never took part in races. I just ran. I ran every day until I got older and decided I was getting too many little injuries from over training. As I mentioned, I loved sports, so it wouldn't be odd for me to run during two games of soccer in a day, then do a short night jog just to unwind. Yeah, that may have been overdoing it.

In 1999 I was riding my bike to the Posse East. A bar I liked to hang out at to drink beer and write stories and some of my books. A car hit me while en route.

Both my legs were broken, I had numerous cuts and scrapes and a light concussion. My left leg had a small break to the fibula.  The doctor didn't even set it. However, my right leg's tibia was broken in five places. The doctor put a rod and appropriate screws in to rejoin the bone. It's still there today as once the bone had healed, he didn't think it was worth another surgery to take it out and wouldn’t bother the leg to remain.

After about five days in the hospital (during Christmas no less) and  around ten days in a rehab hospital I went home. I could barely walk with crutches and used a wheel chair around the house.

I feared that I would never run again.

On a follow-up exam with the doctor, who just so happened to specialize in sports medicine, I asked him if he thought that I'd be able to run once the bone completely healed and I regained my strength in the leg. He said that was up to me.

And so I became determined to run again. I did rehab. I did extra exercises on my own at home. I walked with crutches longer and longer distances no matter the pain. As a gained strength, I went to a lap pool at my gym that was only about five feet deep and walked back and forth, practicing how to move my legs without the aid of crutches. I also watched movies for inspiration. No, not whole ones, scenes of running.

There was a scene in “Rob Roy” (1995) where Rob and his clan are running up a hill to escape the British invaders. The music crescendos as the men desperately scramble up that hill. It's a great scene, well, except where Rob's brother gets shot. I played that over and over. I may have seen that scene 1,000 times.

Another inspiration was a scene from “The Last of the Mohicans”(1992).  It's at the beginning of the movie where Hawkeye and his blood brother Uncas are hunting. They're hurtling through woods, jumping over ravines and scrambling up hills, again with stirring music building as they approach their prey. Yes, that probably got viewed 1,000 times too.

After a number of months, I could walk without crutches. I began with easy walks, then lengthened them. In the pool I would run (as best as I could against the resistance of the water). I finally decided I needed to try to run, no matter if it hurt. So I went to a nearby sports complex that I knew had perfect fields. Long, well-groomed grass that I knew would be like running on a cushion. I ran five feet. It was a little painful, but not excruciating. I walked a little ways and did it again. Basically, I did intervals. I advanced to ten feet, then twenty. Each day I'd extend the distance, alternating with walking. Eventually, I could do a complete lap around the field, then the entire complex.

 

So I soon was back to running. My fear that it would never happen overcome by determination and inspiration. 

A long time ago while running around an indoor track at the gym, I noticed an old man running. He must have been 80 or more. No, not a speed demon, just a steady, slow pace. Years from now if you encounter such a man, who may be one step from his grave, look closely. It'll be me.

Meet The Blogger

The Thurber Brigade has been blogging for eight years now.  Blogging initially about relationships and the interaction between men and women, but expanding to politics, daily living and more. Well, it's about time to give a little insight into this clever (in his mind) writer. So below is a short pictorial history of the author.

My writing space, early days

As noted, I'm a writer and you can see the books on the right side of the page. I've written short stories and news articles as well as political pamphlets and okay, graffiti in bathrooms.

In the past, I was an academic advisor at The University of Texas.

Advising at UT

Orienting new students

Years ago, I was a grunt (infantry) in the 82nd Airborne.

Jungle training in Panama

A young paratrooper

 

Scotland, Australia, The UK, Europe, Panama, Mexico, Canada are the places I've visited overseas.

Jay at Loch Lomond

Jay at Sydney Harbour

Hiking in the mountains is one of my favorite pastimes.

Avalanche Lake, Glacier NP

Hurricane Ridge, Olympic NP

Boy, do I love sports, especially hockey.

Jay at The Joe

Meeting Lord Stanley

 

 

 

 

 

Besides watching and playing sports, I've also coached and reffed (I could mention a book I wrote about coaching, but never got it published).

In action

Jay the Coach

Just finished reffing, coaching in rec league

 

I'm pretty fond of going to beer festivals too.

At GABF with St. Arnold

Oregon Brewers Fest

Over the years, I've had numerous pets.

Jay's Posse (circa 2012)

The Copy (cat) Editor

Well, like most people, I have tons of pictures (click on these to see larger version), but this should give you a little more background behind the poison pen at The Thurber Brigade. Sorry, no childhood pictures. Gotta save those for Part II at some later date.

 Okay, just one.

Zorro!

Ahhh, James Thurber

Okay, I know this blog may appear vain and self-glorious. A bunch of pictures of Jay? Sheesh. Well, it may seem that way but it's really more of a touch of laziness and distractions too many to count. I wanted to have some sort of blog for January, but hey, I watched a little too much football, got too excited about politics and maybe celebrated a few holidays a little too much. I'll get back to my more snarky, funny and maybe a little insightful blogs real soon. Trust me.