Welcome to the Club
Which club to
join? Late at night, while
avoiding some writing, I often try to choose between the many seeking new
members.
A time or two
I thought about The Suicide Club.
It has some pretty impressive members. Hemingway, Plath, Sexton. The dues are kinda steep though. Almost joined a few years back after a rough couple of
rejections.
Some people
think I’m already a member of The Drinker’s Club. Oh, I’ve visited them a few times and discovered some good
ideas and stories. But I’m not a
member. It’s fun to rub elbows
with those in the club though. Why
not have a martini with Capote, or gulp down a gin or two with Carver? Hemingway was there before he joined
his last club. After all, no one
ever said you couldn’t be a member of several clubs.
Speaking of
dual memberships, F. Scott was president of the Big Bucks Club, but eventually became
a member of the Lost it All Club.
Twain joined the All-American Club and the Grumpy Old Men Club. Shoot, Stephen King’s in the BBC, the
Super Prolific Club and the Books-to-Movie Club. So there’s no reason to limit oneself to a single
organization.
I’ve been
sorely tempted to join the Left Our Other Needs Yearning Club (LOONY). Although their name doesn’t make sense,
they’re an easy group to fall into.
Many a late night, after pulling some hair out about a disjointed plot,
I’ve almost joined after a brief conversation with Kafka. But I had too much trouble filling out
the application form. Too
blurry. However, the membership list
is pretty impressive, so I may keep that one on the back burner.
Which reminds
me about paying my dues to the Cliche’ Club. Yep, I’m a cardholder there.
Disease and
Death Club has one of the longest lists of former members, ranging from Chekhov
and Carver to O’Connor and Poe.
I’m trying to avoid this club though, and with luck, and regular doctor’s
appointments, should be able to refuse future invitations.
A group
closely affiliated to the D & D Club is FAD (Famous after Death). There
have been times I thought my membership was inevitable, but that’s just when
I’m in a pessimistic mood.
I keep
joining and quitting the Writer’s Block Fraternity, and I’m getting just a
little tired of all the confusion between the PCC and PC groups. After all, I don’t know any members of
the Politically Correct Club who are also members of the Procrastinator’s
Club. So why the confusion?
So many
clubs, so little time. Oops, that
Cliché Club membership keeps popping up.
As a writer, I know I’m obligated to join some other groups. You’re
expected to be a member of these clubs, you either drift there or the reading
public sends you there. For now,
guess I’ll just wait and see which one comes calling. I hope it’s the Rags to Riches Club. It has such good parties.
