Untold Stories

In the Spielberg movie “Lincoln,” the president often regales visitors with stories to make a point. A funny scene happens when he begins a story and one of his cabinet members runs from the room decrying “oh no, not another one of his blasted stories.”

We all have stories we like to tell from time to time, but often we don't tell all of them. I seldom verbalize  my stories anymore for a number of reasons.

One is that I don't want friends running from the room. Also, I think that nowadays, because of our fascination with the instantaneous and fast media storm we get from modern devices, we no longer have an attention span longer than a minute (or less).

So many great stories are missed by my friends, who might really like them if they heard a few. So a blog is a perfect place to tell them, even if briefly, and then you can either skim them or jump to the witty conclusion.

For example, there's the story from one of my Australian trips when I got picked up by security. I had been hiking along the seaside through some thick brush on a skimpy trail when I came upon a large facility. It had a fence topped by barbed wire and looked like some electric or energy plant, or maybe even a discreet military site. When I got to a more open area, I was confronted by two armed guards. They hadn't drawn their weapons, but did grill me about what I was doing there.

I told them I was just hiking and hadn’t entered the facility. They led me to their Jeep though and after examining my Texas driver's license must have guessed I was just a kooky American and harmless. They drove me back to a road so I could head back to town and admonished me about hiking in dangerous remote areas.

“What would you have done if you fell down one of those cliffs?” One chided. Admittedly, the cliffs I hiked along were pretty steep and high, but hey, that's what adventures are all about.

Another adventure dealt with a female I liked. I discussed this in detail in one of my “near miss” blogs.  Crazy about a waitress in a Sixth Street bar, I made numerous visits to the place hoping for the courage to ask for her number. I finally did gain that courage and got her phone number, but because of weird circumstances lost it on the very same night. Although I attempted to regain it (and my courage) it never came to fruition again.

Some stories aren’t so melancholy, but frustrating.  While in the army (82^nd Airborne) I advocated for an enlisted person union. A pretty radical idea that someone should advocate for enlisted rights/needs in congress rather than some general who might go on to be a lobbyist for a corporation. Anyway, one of the methods the group I worked with used to gain acceptance, was a petition for a union.

One day we tried to gather signatures at a local shopping mall. We were tucked away in a back area (the mall couldn’t deny our request, but could make it less offensive to themselves) and some grisly older guy, who I assumed was a retired master sergeant, came up and began arguing. I became more hostile as I argued back, but I suddenly noticed that my friends had sat back and didn’t respond at all. Since they were more experienced and knowledgeable it surprised me.

Eventually the old guy gave up or lost his energy and left, so I asked them why they didn’t fight back.

“There are just some people you will never get to listen.  No matter the facts, they will never change their minds. There’s  no need to even try.”

That became one of my best lessons over the years and has helped guide me in discussions as well as attempts to meet females.

I have a large number of hiking stories similar to the Australian one above. For example, on visiting Mount St. Helens, I took a hiking trail from an observation point that wended around several hills and included parts of a path that was mere inches wide. At one point, there was a 1,000 foot drop down a rocky slope if you missed a step. I did get a better and closer look at the dormant volcano and so thought it worth the danger.

Jim Croce plays a big part in one or two of my stories as noted in another blog.  The best again deals with hiking. Most of the time that I go hiking I’m alone and in the back country.  Bears do not like to be surprised, and so when you hike in their areas, you should always make a lot of noise. Easier if you hike with friends and can chat about fun times in bars, etc, but more challenging when alone.

So I not only wear a bear bell attached to my belt, but I sing Jim Croce. So far, no bears have complained about my singing, although one time one came close to check out which song I was singing.

Of course, I also have stories in which I will only reveal part of the adventure.  One such happened on my birthday.  I believe it was my big Three Five.  Anyway, we had been out celebrating my birthday, mainly drinking Magnums at The Chili Parlor, and finally heading home.

Unlike many males, I tend to get super cautious when I drink and then drive. However, we were still going highway speed on I-35 in my old Datsun pickup when my friend, Lance, decided to continue being crazy. He opened the window on the passenger side and began to crawl out, headed for the bed of the pickup.  I shouted at him to stop, but he continued on. 

Amazingly he made it, and after screaming and shouting at passing traffic, repeated the dangerous maneuver back into the cab.  That exciting point of the story does not end the wild tale, but it’s the most I’ll relate at this time. The craziest part came later, but that I’ll save until I’m on my death bed. You’ll just have to visit then.

These are just a few of the many stories I have but never talk about (although I sometimes blog them).  I believe everyone has the same situation and have untold treasures just waiting to be described to anyone willing to listen. 

As a writer, I love hearing most of these, and so I often try to elicit them from people while hiking, when I hit bars or while I wait for a bus. 

So if you can stand putting away your cell phone for a few minutes, give it a try yourself sometime. You may hear some really funny or intense tales.  Even if not, at least you have made a connection that will provide a pleasant memory years from now. Maybe that encounter will become one of your stories.

James Thurber told some great stories