Summer Vacation

 

Hey, it's hot in Texas. We at The Thurber Brigade decided to head somewhere cooler. We'll be back next month with another biting satire, clever essay, or post about this and that. Maybe.

I Meme It

 Over the years I've created some memes in order to comment on various issues of the day. So I thought I'd show them off in one place. Sadly, they are still relevant today because the GOP just won't give up on a bad ideas.

I created this one to mock the GOPpers who are so anti-abortion that they don't believe there should even be exceptions if a child is raped and becomes pregnant. 

   

This one came about after a protest in Baltimore where the cops arrested protestors, yet police let the heavily armed right-wing protestors in Oregon go free.

 Had to do this because The Orange One kept saying the 2020 election was stolen, even though no one ever could produce evidence; and in 2016 he said his campaign had no Russian influence, even though the evidence was clear. 

This was meant to remind farmers why they really shouldn't vote for the Orange Blob. They did anyway.

 Created this because MTG actually claimed that Italian satellites had a hand in the election.

 For some reason, the non-working class GOPpers keep wanting to raise the retirement age.

I kept getting irritated because TFG kept bragging about how great his economy was doing. His economy actually didn't do much at all during his time in office. He did get a boost early on from the booming economy Obama made.

Yeah, the parent's rights movement said they had a right to keep their kids from learning different things that might open their minds. This was a reminder that parents back in the day absolutely didn't want their children sitting next to any black kids.

The courts decide that even though The Fat Guy was impeached and started an insurrection, he could go ahead and stay on the ballot in 2024. Stupid courts.

Okay, I'm not entirely sure I created this, but I think I did it after some people protested the removal of traitor statues in various cities. Truthfully, the US made a big mistake by going easy on the traitors and so it led to many of them being venerated. After the Civil War, the generals and politicians should have been executed, and trials held for other ranking soldiers.

Texas, and several other southern states, kept trying to pass bills that would require people who looked like immigrants (basically, anyone not white) to show papers proving they weren't here illegally. 

Did this one after yet another mass shooting. Think this was one in Oregon. 

Okay, okay, this wasn't one of my political memes, it was one I did for my hilarious, satirical book SEX and the AMERICAN MALE. You really should buy it. It's great.

 

 

 

    

The Big Bro

As children we played games and even as adults we had late night Risk battles into the wee hours. We were terrors for our parents when riding in the back seat on long trips, and as adults we attracted attention with our bickering during travels abroad or in the US. We had loud, sometimes angry, arguments over politics, but just as often together yelled our support for the Longhorn and Detroit teams at countless athletic event

We were competitive, rowdy, boisterous, stubborn and cantankerous. We were also loving, friendly, talkative and caring.

We were brothers.

Rest in peace Mark Williams, 1951-2025.
 

Attorney at Law; Houston, TX
JD: University of Texas at Austin
BA: University of Texas at El Paso

• Born on November 15, 1951 in Newton, Kansas, United States
• Passed away on May 9, 2025 in Austin, United States

The Story of Easter: A Thurber Brigade Rerun

Around 300 CE the Cardinal ran up to the Pope while in the most agitated state.  The Pope held up his hand in a calming manner to placate the worried man.

“Calm thyself Cardinal.”

“We have a crisis your excellency!” the Cardinal exclaimed.

“What crisis?”

“The people are dancing around naked and drinking heavily all in the name of Eostre!”

“Well, we can’t have that.  I have a plan though.  Go gather the people around and I will make a declaration.”

So, the Cardinal rushed off and after getting the people clothed and somewhat sober, convinced them to go and hear what the Pope wanted to tell them. 

“People there is a new holiday you should celebrate.  It is one that commemorates the death and resurrection of Jesus.  This holiday will be heretofore known as Easter!” the Pope exclaimed.

The people mumbled amongst themselves and looked questioningly at the Pope.  “Easter?” That sounds suspiciously like our favorite time of the year when we celebrate Eostre,” one man said.

“Um, no, no, it’s not related to Eostre at all,” the Pope assured him.

Monty Python would celebrate Eostre

“It seems strange to celebrate someone’s death,” another peasant said to the Pope.  “I mean, it sounds rather bloody from the description your priests have told us in the past.”

“Yeah, and that story they tell about Jesus sure sounds a lot like the story of Inanna and Horus,” anther person shouted.  “I mean, they were killed, went to the underworld and came back.”

“No, no, those stories are just myths. This story of Jesus is real. You can trust me,” the Pope said as convincingly as he could.

“We like Eostre though,” several others chimed in.  “We get to dance and drink, we paint eggs and carry around rabbits to celebrate the new spring and virility.”

“Well, you can still have eggs and rabbits,” the Pope said. 

“Can we dance and drink too?” a man at the back asked.

“Of course you can, although I think it best to keep your clothes on,” the Pope answered.

The people furrowed their brows and wrinkled their noses.  “We’re not sure about this holiday.”

“Oh, you’ll love it,” the Pope assured them. “You’ll have a great time.”

So the people decided to celebrate both holidays.  After all, the more holidays the better.  However, slowly but surely the Pope and his successors convinced them to just celebrate Easter. With time, he also got the people to calm down more and celebrate with less enthusiasm.

The church kept the eggs and rabbits, but got the people to dispense with the dancing and drinking. A small group of pagans didn’t like this turn of events and vowed to one day return the holiday to its more spirited nature. 

Slowly but surely the old Eostre followers have been stressing the eggs and rabbits.  So today you can actually find people telling stories of big rabbits hiding chocolate eggs. They sneakily got the church to offer sunrise services which celebrate an old solar celebration. Also, the pagans convinced the Pope to base the time of Easter on the phases of the moon.  They haven’t been able to bring back the wild dancing, but have had more luck with the drinking aspect with their Easter sales at liquor stores.

So whether you follow celebrations of Horus, Inanna, Eostre/Ostara or Easter we at The Thurber Brigade wish you a pleasant holiday.

Ahhh, James Thurber

We at The Thurber Brigade apologize if this story sounds a little like our annual Christmas story.  We can't help that a certain religion co-opted several Pagan celebrations to try and win over the people. We also apologize to the serious religious types for making fun of the Pope, religion, myths, etc.  We don't regret it, nor doubt the above story has some basis in reality, but we apologize as we want you to continue to enjoy whatever holiday you celebrate. Cheers.

 

 

The Nightmare is Just Beginning

I am still depressed about how 1/3 of the U.S. put a failed businessman in office who is determined to destroy our country. 

So I couldn't concentrate to write the blog I planned (maybe about men, women and furniture). To cheer me up I'm instead posting some unflattering memes of the Orange One.

Hope this cheers you up too.

 

Whew. I feel a little better. Hope you do too. Check back next month and if I'm less distressed I'll have a real blog to post.

That's Rebel Scum to you Orange cultists

 

 

 

Signs, Signs...Can't you read the signs?

South by Southwest (SxSW) has got to be one of my favorite events here in Austin. Thousands of bands at dozens of venues along with 100,000 of your closest friends. What's not to like. So at the most recent version I was hanging out at B.D. Riley's  when a typical occurrence happened in the on going War Between Men and Women (ahem, note the name of this blog).

I was standing at the back of the open area in front of the stage, the usual location for me. It gives me a good view of the band and is usually not that crowded so I don't have to worry about a random elbow. 

The next thing I know a cute female strolls up and stands next to me. Mind you, there are better viewing spots available. So this seemed a little odd. Was she like me and just wanted to avoid the mad pushing near the stage? Or was she sending me a sign? I looked at her and she casually ran her hand through her hair.

Ah, surely this was a sign that she was interested. Of course, right as I was about to cast out a line, her boyfriend walked up with a drink. Typical.

You see, women are notorious for sending out false signs, and just as notorious for wondering why we guys never can get their signals.

A few years ago there was a report about how men are worse at recognizing signs then women. I think this is because we've been bombarded by so many fake ones, that we no longer can distinguish a valid one from a fake.

For example, in the scene mentioned above I told how the female ran her hand through her hair. 

According to some "experts" on visual cues, this is a sign that a female is attracted to you. But time after time we guys discover this is seldom the case. It's more likely a female purposely misleading a male, or else she's oblivious to the message she is sending.

Also, the sign of moving close to someone is way too confusing. Sure, it's a little obvious when the place is nearly empty, but it's much more bewildering when there's a crowd. I remember numerous times when a female would stand near me and even move with me when the crowd shifted. 

 But on almost every occasion, after throwing a line, she would move away hurriedly. Oh, it could have been a lousy line, but it happens too often to be anything more than women sending mixed messages.

In the past I was crazy about hitting the nightclubs to hit the floor (dance) with whatever female was in the same mood. However, I've all but given that up due to one night at the old Continental Club . Not the current hip one, the previous one when it was darker and cooler. Anyway, on that night I asked 10 different females to dance.

 Not a one would join me. Most gave the signal that they wanted to dance. You know, like tapping their toes to the tune, dancing in place just off the floor. You've seen them. 

But they were false signs. Ever since that day I laugh when I hear the Cindy Lauper song, "Girls just want to have fun."  Yeah, right. That is why all those females acted like I was asking for a deep commitment, or maybe thought I was the Boston Strangler. It probably wouldn't have bothered me so much if they hadn't been sending those false signs.

The fake sign that bothers me the most though, is the one where you think the woman is ready to do the horizontal dance. 

For example, your date suddenly starts to exude compassion. She rubs your arm, squeezes your hand gently kisses you on the cheek or runs her hand through your hair. Well, in my case it usually is rub my head. But you've seen those signs. So when you slowly begin to unbutton her blouse and she grabs your hand to stop you, you know that once again you were the victim of the female mixed message sign.

So we guys will undoubtedly keep trying to decipher the signals we're getting. After all, our brains are constantly thinking of sex (not every seven seconds, but a lot) so we have to keep trying. But understand that if we sometimes act crazy, it's largely because we've been driven there by females planting those deceptive signs in the road to relationships.

Even I can get this sign

Yes, it's another Thurber Brigade rerun. I had different topic to write, but didn't have the motivation for the moment as I'm still reeling from the disasterous change in the White House (I'll blog about it later I'm sure). This 2013 blog seemed relevant to me though because recently, yet again, I attempted to chat up a woman, but clearly misread the sign. She had flashed at me several of the signs I mention above, but when I took the step to talk to her, she acted like I had broken into her house, ate her pet goldfish, drank all her beer and trashed her living room while watching porn on the TV. Okay, she just turned a cold shoulder but it seemed like that. So I decided to resurrect this blog about women, who won't make first contact themselves, but who don't always let us guys know if they are interested. Next time I promise to write something more original. Maybe.