The Thurber Brigade's Annual Story of Christmas

A bright star shone above the Earth and three wise men followed it to their destination.  They came a long way because of the knowledge they had of the events.  

They came to meet the Pope, probably around 400 C.E. 

“The pagans are enjoying Saturnalia way too much” the wise men told the Pope.  “They’re dancing, singing, giving gifts to friends, burning trees.  It’s woefully unbecoming a modern society and a threat to entice our followers to imbibe in the joyful celebration.”

“You are right,” the Pope agreed.  “We must do something to ensure that we can maintain our control.”

Pope vs. Pagan Headgear

Therefore, the Pope and his followers came up with a plan.

They began to promote a celebration of Christ (Christ-Mass) during the same time as Saturnalia.  When asked why have a celebration, they explained that it was to celebrate Christ’s birth.

The pagans were skeptical at first.  “Didn’t you say Christ was born in the spring?  Around March?”  one asked.  “I heard the Pope say he was born in August,” another chimed in helpfully.

The Pope said he had made a mistake, due to the change in the calendar system to the more modern Julian one.  Christ was indeed born in December, the Pope assured everyone.

The pagans still didn’t like it.

Join the "Vikings" (on History Channel) as they light the Yule Log

“Saturnalia is fun.  We get gifts, we have this cool tree, there’s dancing and singing,” they said.

“You can still do that,” the Pope professed.  “It’s a birthday party after all, isn’t it?”

So the pagans began to celebrate both holidays, but as more and more were convinced to switch over to Christianity, Saturnalia fell out of favor.  However, those pagans who still celebrated their cherished Saturnalia swore they’d take it back.

It took longer than they expected, but slowly and surely, the pagans have regained control of their celebration.  

The pagans made their biggest push in the 1950s and 60s by adding massive parades and celebrations to the winter festival.  They also brought in more symbols from other pagans’ beliefs, such as a rotund, bearded man giving gifts, and instead of burning logs as in the days of yore, they added colorful lights to the trees they dance around.

Through the 70s and 80s they advocated for more consumerism via bigger and better gifts.  Spellbinding advertisements for big, shiny cars and glittery jewels predominate the airwaves.  “Buy more! It will prove your love,” they proclaim.

So today the pagans have taken back the holiday—but have cleverly decided to keep it under the title “Christmas.” 

The celebration keeps getting expanded too, now beginning on the Friday after Thanksgiving (Pagan Black Friday) and continuing through New Year's.  There are competitions to have the biggest tree and brightest light displays.  Children are taught that the best gifts are the most expensive and the ones hardest to acquire.  In addition, of course, there are large gatherings to sing and perform in celebration of the holiday.

It has been a subtle takeover by the pagans, but they have finally reclaimed what was theirs.  So far, the Pope has not responded.

The Thurber Brigade wishes everyone a Happy Holiday—no matter which one you celebrate!

Yes, yes, it's another rerun from the Thurber Brigade.  Admit it though, you are already watching a ton of reruns, from "Miracle on 34th Street" to "It's a Wonderful Life" so why not one more?  Besides, The Brigade is busy buying presents and celebrating all the holidays that enjoy drinking and so hasn't had time to come up with some snarky blog about relationships.  We promise that after the New Year (and after all the football games) we'll get back on track.  Until then, enjoy the holidays and your friends.  

1776!

The Republicans are letting Trump do whatever he wants, whether it's not using money allocated by Congress or ignoring the Constitution. This sort of makes sense because conservatives have never really been big advocates of democracy. I blogged about this before, so it seems like a good time to rerun it.

Face it, a lot of what NeoCons do and say just doesn't make sense. You know, things like supporting TFG even though the only conservative thing about him is his unbridled quest for more money for himself. Their complaints about border security even though when they controlled all the levers of government they didn’t do anything to resolve the issue. Their mantra of family values even though countless NeoCon pols get caught abusing women and children.

The most baffling to me, admittedly a person who loves reading and studying history, is their vocal embrace of the Revolutionary War motifs. 

It began with the Tea Party and their tri-corner hats, even though they were protesting basically paying less for insurance (affordable care act). Now they even shout out “1776” at their rallies, even though they are protesting an elected officeholder not a king.

The thing they don't seem to understand is that the Revolutionary War was a conflict brought about by liberals who had the radical idea that man should decide who was ruler, not some god-ordained king.

Conservatives, Torries in England parlance, were opposed to the war and longed to remain loyal to the king. They were against democracy.

Thomas Fleming pointed this out in his book “Liberty: The American Revolution.” “The conservatives wanted to form a union between England and America, but the “firebrands” (those for independence) narrowly won a vote tabling the idea and even with conservatives upset, the idea was eventually expunged from the notes about the meeting of the Continental Congress.”

He further elaborated: “…Convened a meeting of the extralegal Virginia assembly, the conservative majority eagerly endorsed a resolution for a “speedy return of those halcyon days when we lived a free and happy people.” Patrick Henry reposted by resolving that “this colony be immediately put into a state of defense.” The conservatives all but denounced the idea. Henry replied with sentiments that his first biographer converted into immortal phrases: “Gentlemen may cry peace, peace—but there is no peace…I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!””

The NeoCons today still have their old desires for a king. That's why they had an insurrection on January 6, 2020 in an attempt to overthrow the government, renounce a fair election and install The Orange One as their king. In effect, their rally was an anti-1776 affair.

Despite not believing in the principles that formed the basis for our country’s founding, things like equality and justice for all, they embrace terms like freedom and patriotism. They’ll ban books in one moment, then name some group they’ve formed with “Liberty” in the title.

However, they are not patriots. They are nationalists. In other words, they like the accouterments of America but don’t like the ideals. They’ll put an American flag on their pickup truck which they will then use to try to break up a rally for civil rights. They’ll chant “USA, USA!” while breaking windows in the US Capitol.

Their rallies with tons of American and Trump flags don’t resemble the rallies of our Founding Fathers.  They look more like the Nazi rallies in the 1930s or the rallies of the Chinese Communist Party today. They all stir nationalistic pride, but not patriotism.

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised by this behavior though. After all, NeoCons just don’t get history (nor math, science, etc.). They don’t want kids to know about slavery because it might hurt their feelings. Don’t let the kids know that Native Americans were slaughtered and forced off their land because it could lower their self-esteem. They don’t want children to see a drag queen reading books because it might turn those children gay.

So, the NeoCons need to put away their tri-cornered hats. They need to stash those Revolutionary inspired flags that say “don’t tread on me.”  Most of all, they need to stop chanting “1776!” and instead be more honest and shout “Long live the King!”

 

Ahh, James Thurber

 

Post Toastee

Back in 1976, a great guitarist named Tommy Bolin wrote a song called "Post Toastee." Basically, it was a warning to the world not to follow the path of a number of his friends and contemporaries who died of drug overdoses. He was very concerned it would happen to him and sadly, that came true. 

This blog isn't about that though. It's really a call for everyone to go ahead and post everything to Facebook even though there are many people who disparage those who put pictures of their dinner on their Facebook page. 

In other words, don't be afraid to post that picture of the odd shaped toast you had at a diner.  

Your friends may say derogatory things about your posts under their breath, or behind your back, but do it anyway.

I have written a number of books (five published) and countless short stories that appeared in various magazines, but I admit, I will never be a famous celebrity or star.

So although I may have sold several hundred of those books, no one will write a best-selling memoir about me. Nope, not going to be on the NYTimes list any time soon.

So what you post on Facebook, Instagram or any other website is your memoir. 

They say that things you post on the internet are forever. 

So all those locations you posted from, all those meals you took a picture of and posted all those pictures of you and your cat/dog/family will become the chapters of your memoir.

All of this is why you should not hesitate to make that post. Post daily, post everything you like or are interested in, post that group photo, post that shot you got of a parade you went downtown to watch. 

Post away. (oh, and don't go Post Toastee. We don't want to read about that post).

 

Ahhh, James Thurber

 

 

 

Release the Epstein Files

The Orange Blob (I resist using his name) who sits in the White House is a sexual predator and a pedophile.  I say that blatantly because there are countless brave women who have come forward and stated that. Most have been paid off so that they won't go to court against him. At least one did take him to court and now he has a huge bill to pay because of it. 

That he hasn't had criminal charges against him testifies to how corrupt and biased our judicial system is today. It clearly favors the rich and those with some semblance of power. If someone like me or Joe the Plumber were to have done the deeds of his Orange Largeness, we'd be sitting in prison for the rest of our lives. 

 So although I can't do anything about the Man with Orange Makeup, I can at least blog about his malfeasance. So below are just a few of the thousands of memes created by other outraged souls who feel helpless against a system that lets this happen. 

Feel free to share these extensively. 

 

What? You think that is overdoing it? Maybe you are not taking this issue seriously enough.  Release the files!

 

Ah, James Thurber