Dementia Don

"If Biden did that, the news media would be screaming 24/7 that he is too old and should be removed from office."

How often do you hear that phrase when someone talks about the antics of Dementia Don? It's daily.

It could be after you hear about him standing up at a meeting with oil CEOs and going to the window to look out and comment about his ballroom.

It could be after he falls asleep during a live press conference, or at a cabinet meeting, or at a large gathering. He does it a lot.

And his speeches sure haven't improved. He's even more scatological and incoherent as usual. One second he'll be talking about how Biden is why the world is upside down and next he'll launch into how mirrors are in the wrong place everywhere.

Because of his huge ankle swelling he can no longer walk in a straight line. At least, that's a forgiving explanation of his ambling walk. If it was Biden the MSM would say it was because he's so old he is one step away from a wheelchair.

He's also been caught on film cussing at protestors or even giving the finger to someone who rubbed him the wrong way. Just like a cranky, dementia addled old man would behave--not a president. 

The only recourse is he should be thrown out of office using the 25th Amendment. A legal way to remove a president who is incapable of leading a country due to physical or mental incapacity. 

Sadly, this won't happen because he's put in his cabinet people who, besides being unqualified, are loyal to him, not to the well being of this country.  They would rather see the country spiral into chaos than do anything to upset Dear Leader. 

So we're stuck with him. Personally, I'm hoping for a stroke.

 

Trump is Bad

George Thorogood has a song “Bad to the Bone.” It’s an expression that connotes that the person is tough or rebellious in an edgy way. Donald Trump is not that. Some people refer to another person who is good at something as “bad ass.” Nope, not Donald Trump either.

Trump is just bad, i.e. not good. He’s bad at business, bad at human relations, bad at empathy, bad at diplomacy, bad at governing, bad at dealing with difficult situation, well, bad at everything. Some people even say he smells bad, but I won’t go into that.

In the past, I blogged about how he is insane and how he is unpopular. So, with the election drawing near, I thought it might be a good time to remind people about just how bad he is so they have an easy reference when making such an important decision in November.

Trump is bad at business. To call him a businessman almost seems like a lie. He has filed for bankruptcy six times (including three casinos!):

1. 1991: Trump’s Taj Mahal
2. 1992: First of two Atlantic City casinos owned by Donald Trump.
3. 1992: Second of two Atlantic City casinos owned by Donald Trump.
4. 1992:  Trump’s Plaza Hotel in New York City
5. 2004:  Trump’s Hotels and Casinos Resorts
6. 2009:  Trump’s Entertainment Resorts

 Trump is bad at telling the truth. The Washington Post claims he had over 30,000 lies during his time in office.

Trump is bad for the environment.

Trump is bad at upholding the law.

Laws Trump is suspected to have violated

Trump is bad with governing and diplomacy.

 

Trump is bad with disasters, such as COVID

Trump is bad even according to those who worked for him.

Trump is bad with approval ratings.

There are so many areas that he is bad at/in that it makes you wonder if there is anything he is good at. Well, he is good at garnering massive hate, dividing a nation and lowering expectations for an elected leader. That's too bad.

Ahh, James Thurber

Star Struck

Face it, Donald Trump is not popular. He lost two popular votes for president—the last by over seven million votes. His poll numbers never have topped even 50%, instead mainly hanging around the 30s-40s.

Those of us who dislike him (aka the majority) look at the guy in disbelief when we see fans clamber to be near him and wonder why? Why do these people like him?

It's because they are typical Americans who are star struck by anyone with a measure of fame or fortune.

The same reason we see creepy, old rich guys married to beauty queens, Americans have fallen for an image of the man.

His whole life has revolved around his claim to be rich and successful. The reality is quite opposite on both fronts.

His wealth came from an inheritance not any business savvy.  Due to debt and bad business choices it's doubtful he could live on his own if those debts were called in suddenly. Unlike all other presidents, he’s never released his taxes, but through leaks and investigative reporting we've come to learn that he may actually be dirt poor.

Likewise, his businesses have repeatedly failed, from his bogus university to his rancid steaks, all have been shut down, with many leading to bankruptcy and ruin (for any gullible investors). His fake charity was dismantled by the court because he was grifting the money from donors and keeping it for himself. It’s possible he’s been laundering money, or at least, helping others to do so. What else would you call it when a Russian oligarch buys a property for four million even though it had been valued at far less?

In spite of these massive failures, he still has legions of adoring fans. It is all because the one thing he's very successful at, is presenting a facade that has those legions enthralled. 

Over the years he's grabbed headlines with his flamboyant lifestyle, from gaudy living quarters to marriages with glamour girls. He may not know business, but he sure knows how to make headlines.

And that seems to be enough for his cult following. Even though he would never be seen hanging out with these often poor and uneducated folks, he has convinced them that he speaks for them. They like his brashness, which if displayed by a female opponent they'd see as repulsive, and so forgive his racism, misogyny and xenophobia.

All because he's a star. Through TV shows, movie cameos and radio interviews he has polished that star and it sparkles in the eyes of his followers. 

The media, who he pointedly attacks, helped further give him this star status. I remember how frustrated I felt during the 2016 election when the Main Stream Media (MSM) would leave whatever news coverage they were involved with to show his plane landing at some event/rally. He didn't have to spend any of his own money promoting himself during the primaries because the MSM was providing endless coverage of his every move. Maybe the MSM deserves all the hatred directed toward them these days because they created the monster.

So, this is America and the likelihood of his star struck fans leaving his cult is remote. We love our Hollywood icons and no matter what weird exploits they might get caught doing, we’ll still clamor to see their movies, watch their TV shows, or vote them into political office.

Oh, that is unless the star is a person of color. OJ has not faired that well. But that’s another story.

Ahh, James Thurber

The Thurber Brigade wishes to apologize for this sidestep about the previous president. We had hoped that when he fled the White House we would never have to mention him in a blog again. However, he refuses to go away. So, we feel obligated to keep making fun of, sneering at, and deriding The Orange One and his cult following. If there were such a thing as a god, that being would have struck The Big Guy down or at least have him locked up. Sadly, that is unlikely to happen so we’ll keep having these occasional sidesteps in order to make ourselves feel better. Sorry.

The Incident

A Thurber Brigade Trump Sidestep

In a shocking news release today, the White House admitted that the recent New York Times article that declared President Trump killed Mike Pence is correct.  

The article, published last week, stated that in a fit of rage Trump had shot Pence after the VP laughed when Trump declared he had the most successful presidency in US history. The news release did not clarify why the White House waited until after the news had broken or the other succeeding events that had proven the incident occurred.

Immediately after the NYT article had been released, Trump denied that the incident happened, and Sean Spicer declared in a press conference that Trump had been bowling at the time the alleged murder took place.

The next day, during a TV interview, Kellyanne Conway stated that Trump had actually been in a high level cabinet meeting that took place in a bowling alley.

Both of these accounts were proven wrong when the next day Trump posted a tweet alluding he may have killed Pence, but it had been an accident:

After that Tweet Spicer avoided questions from the press by wearing a long-haired, blond wig, red dress and heels and discreetly rushed past the reporters waiting to hear his next press conference. Conway meanwhile stated that Trump did not mean that he shot Pence, but that Pence had violently grabbed the pistol out of Trump's hand and then shot himself.

Mrs. Pence, when asked about her husband, said that she never noticed him missing until he missed a dinner engagement at a local restaurant yesterday. She stated that even then wondered to herself if he might have been there but may have just not spoken to her as was his usual behavior.

After the most recent White House news release, Jeff Sessions reiterated his belief that if the president does it, it is not illegal.

Meanwhile, both Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell said they did not want to jump to conclusions until they had formed a committee to investigate.  When asked about the admission of the White House, the presence of the dead body found in the Oval Office and the gun with only Trump's fingerprints the Republican lawmakers stressed that there wasn't clear proof yet and they would check back after further committee meetings.

The Democratic Party couldn't provide a spokesman, but did release a letter stating that Trump must be impeached and then tried for murder. An hour later they sent out another letter to news organizations stating that they were not sure if that was the proper action and would wait until they could find a spokesman with a backbone before making further comments.

Shortly after the recent news release from the White House Trump posted a new tweet:

His follow-up tweet: 

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The Thurber Brigade does not apologize for yet another side-step.  If the prez can "allegedly" collude with our foreign rivals, "allegedly" obstruct justice, "allegedly" profit from his dealings while in office, then both parties, his supporters, and those unwilling to take a stand deserve at least a satirical lambasting if not outright contempt for their lack of morality, fortitude, and patriotism.

Why, yes, I bowl

Don't Stop Believin'

 Trump Lies: A Thurber Brigade Sidestep

As noted in several previous blogs, males compete constantly with each other.  Whether in a sports setting or an argument over sports, we guys always want to best our opponent. You can clearly see this when a young child gets in an argument and his knowledge is limited.  He will suddenly blurt out anything that pops into his mind no matter how ridiculous.

For example, he might state his father could whup King Kong or that he has exploding ping pong balls that create a big flash when they hit the ground (I admit, I uttered the latter one—hey, I was eight).

As we get older, we tend not to exaggerate or make up things in arguments because we know they'll easily be destroyed by facts from our opponent.  Donald Trump seems to still be in the adolescent state.

He lies all the time.  When something doesn't go his way, he will make up some excuse that is clearly a lie.  For example, he is still so freaked out that he lost the popular vote by the biggest margin in US history (by someone who won the electoral college) that he has blurted out that over three million illegal votes were cast.

It's a lie.  However, since he's the president the news media gives him the benefit of the doubt and although they will acknowledge there are no facts to back him up, they still give the issue extensive coverage as if it was legit. It's not. He's lying. He just blurted out some nonsense to win his argument.

We've known he's a liar for some time. In fact, there's an extensive article in a Canadian paper that lists all his lies and gives the facts to refute them.  They have over 550 listed!

Some of the whoppers you've undoubtedly heard include:
- the voter fraud mentioned above
- his tax cuts would be HUGE for the middle class
- the US trade deficit was HUGE
- Clinton hired protestors to attend his events
- he was HUGELY popular with African Americans
- the murder rate in the US is HUGER than before

Well, the list is exhaustively HUGE.

The bottom line is that everyone needs to stop believing him.  Stop giving him credence by paying undue attention to his lies. When he tells another one, instead of asking him for something to back up his claim (he doesn't have it, he'll just put it off until later), just say something like "welp, there's #603" and move on with the conversation. It's the sarcastic way to say he's lying.  Or just tell him he's lying.

By not calling him out, it gives credence to his lie.  In effect, it validates him to his devoted followers. It becomes big news (headlines even) when instead it should be a small sidebar that states he's lied yet again.

As president we can't just ignore him.  However, we don't have to accept everything he says as gospel. We don't have to give him or his lies the incredible attention that the press keeps giving him (they made him by giving him unrelenting attention in the primaries as noted in a previous blog). Stop believing him.

However, don't stop believing.  In decency. In justice. In human rights. In the American sense of fair play. In America.  We used to be a shining beacon to other people, we need to return to that status. So keep protesting his administration. Keep standing up for American values such as freedom and equality. Keep calling him out on his lies.

Ahhh, James Thurber

The Thurber Brigade does not apologize for this sidestep.  For one thing, we've been warning about it for a few blogs.  Also, surely everyone would expect radical, progressive satirists to be chomping at the bit to hit The Orange One.  We'll get back to the important dialogue about relationships between men and women in no time.  And we'll get Mexico to pay for it.  Also, yes, the blog title is taken from an 80s Journey song of the same name.  Yes, we're still stuck in the 80s.