Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts

Friday, October 29, 2021

God is Watching

The big NFL football game is just hours away and you suddenly discover that you don't have any snacks or beer. You hop into your car and head to the nearby grocery store and are shocked to see that it is closed. You then realize you have time traveled back to the 60s-70s and no store is open on Sunday. 

Why? Well, God is watching.

They were called “Blue Laws” probably because they made everyone feel blue because people couldn't buy their snacks.

Often Young people don't believe me when I mention you couldn't buy a pair of socks on Sunday. They grew up in a time you could buy just about anything on Sunday. I guess God isn't watching as closely these days.
Over the years, the laws began to relax a bit here and there. For example, convenient stores were given exemptions first. Maybe because God wanted them to stay convenient or maybe because their lobby paid some big bucks. Gas stations also got a bye because hey, you need gas to be able to get to church to praise god.
Grocery stores came next because you sure can't worship god on an empty stomach. It took longer for shoes and socks, but they eventually got a pass from god too. Of course, god still won't allow alcohol to be sold on Sunday, but a number of years ago, he winked at beer.
It may seem strange that these rules changed so slowly, but that is quite common. Religions always adapt to the times. They have new interpretations of what god believes is okay. For example, in the early days of this country, you weren't allowed to play sports. Too ungodly. Nowadays there are church softball leagues. Before the 1800s, people could not celebrate Christmas. Too pagan for the Pope. By the way, the annual story of Christmas is a few weeks away.

Some folks will undoubtedly defend their religion and the Blue Laws by mentioning how their god commands them to keep the Sabbath holy. Well, I hate to remind them that Sunday is not really the Sabbath. Yep, even that got a reinterpretation by religions.
Sunday is the first day of the week. Saturday is the seventh day—which is the day god supposedly alluded to. So how did Sunday get to become the owner of Blue Laws? Around 400 CE some Pope decided he didn't like that his religion was required to observe the Sabbath on the same day as those heathen Jews. My gosh, they actually drank wine and cut off the tips of children's penises! So he moved the Sabbath one day over. After all, they both begin with the letter “S”. Who'll know the difference. 

So I hope you younger types will appreciate the sacrifices your elders had to endure. Imagine no chips and beer during Sunday football! It's ungodly.

Ahhh, James Thurber

The Thurber Brigade knows there were more restrictions based on religion. Things like birth control, women driving, women owning houses, well, women doing anything and much more. Those weren't tied to one day though and so maybe we'll catch you up on those in the future. As for the religious types who may be offended by the snarky way we attacked religion, we'd like to say we are sorry, except we're not. Nope, not at all sorry that we made fun of your current mythology. After 3,000 years people gave up on Zeus. There are 2,500 different gods being worshiped these days. You sure that your single god is the one?

Did we mention that Blue Laws violate church/state separation?


 


Thursday, April 13, 2017

A Colorful Blog

The above color is greenish.  Women will tell you it’s teal.

Years ago, while taking a class on magazine design, I worked on a group project to redesign a nonprofit organization's magazine.  The group consisted of two females and myself.  I was a wizard at Pagemaker and design techniques, but the two women had an eye for color schemes. So we made a pretty good team.  Occasionally I would throw out ideas about what I thought would be a good color, but they always outvoted me and chose something else. 

To be honest, I didn't mind as I was more focused on getting a good grade then worrying about petty fights. So as long as they trusted me with putting the whole thing together, I sure didn't mind their saying what some sidebar box should look like. It became really clear to me during this project the difference between men and women  on topics such as color.
 For example, they came in one day and said the masthead box should be "taupe." At first, I assumed this meant it should be some strange dimension or shape that I had never heard about.  When I inquired, they both laughed a little and I swear glanced quickly at each other and said "men" under their breaths. There was a loud air conditioner going off so maybe I imagined that.  Of course, it turned out to be a name of a color that is brownish-gray according to the dictionary (from the French word of mole, so mole colored). When they showed me the color, I pretty much said that. 

"Oh, an off shade of brown."

They just smiled to themselves and we continued working.  The difference is that us guys invariably will go the easy route on things like this and say something is just a straight color (brownish) while women will give it a specific name.
It may be because of how we have different ideas about what is important.  Women have a million shades of red for the lipstick they wear, most likely with a name for each. We guys will just say it's reddish.  Now something really important, such as the lineup of the 1968 World Series champion Detroit Tigers, well, that I still remember.

Let's see, Al Kaline was in right, Norm Cash at first, Bill Freehan behind the plate...well you get it. Men have different ideas of what is important and will be exacting in those areas, women have different priorities.
So if your wife tells you to go buy yourself a white shirt for work, you'll come back with one that she claims is actually "egg shell."  What concerned you was the price and neck size.
Another possibility for this difference might be because guys like simplification. We strive to simplify things in our lives and save our sweat for the more difficult endeavors.  For example, if your girlfriend says the color of her car is beige you'll go along with that because it simplifies your existence with her.  However, if she says the engine in that car is making funny noises, you will want to know the specific tone, vibration and location of that noise so you can figure out what needs to be fixed. 

Likewise, when we get dressed for an evening out, a woman will spend  an hour trying to make sure the shade of green in her blouse will work perfectly with the shade of gray she plans for her skirt.  We guys will just pick a shirt/pants combo we think will make us look even more manly. Simple.

Just as men and women have a difference in vision (as mentioned in an earlier blog), as well as the meaning of something, picking colors will continue to be something men and women never see as just black and white.


This color is "olive drab."  For some reason, I knew that one.