Lately, I realized there are quite a few things that women can do that men cannot.
For example:
• Man can’t stand beside a car with a flat and wait for someone else to fix it.
No, he can't bend over to show off his butt when a car passes, can't look to be near tears, can't even look pensively at the flat tire and try to elicit sympathy. Any guy who would even try those would be hounded the rest of his life by the thought of inadequacy and impotence (yeah, it's a tough club we're in). People who drive by the scene wouldn't even give it a thought, assuming the guy was going to fix it himself.
• Man can’t wear shorts into a biker barYou've probably seen movies where a guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of milk and within a few minutes a bar fight ensues. This is basically the same scenario. It wouldn't matter if it was 100° outside, if a man walks into a tough place in shorts it's a clear sign he wants trouble—and will most likely get it.
• Man can’t complain about getting bumped on bus/train
If a man were talking to his buddies and started to complain about someone jostling him on the train the other day, the immediate reaction from his friends would be to ask if he shoved the guy back and if it led to a fight. If he didn't give the appropriate response and continued to complain, the other guys would stare at him in disbelief or would assume he was kidding. More than likely, if a guy did complain about an incident like this, he'd be called one of numerous names used by females to denigrate men (as blogged earlier).• Man can’t cry about anything in public (even though women wish men would show emotions)
Of course, the exception is Speaker of the House Boehner, but every other guy may not cry. A man caught showing such an emotion would forever be branded a non-man and shunned in future social occasions. The exception of course, is when the team you are rooting for in the Super Bowl loses the game by calling the stupidest play in the history of football and loses the game. But that is about the only exception. The odd thing though is that men are probably more emotional than women. We dare not admit it in public though.
• Man can’t wear different styles of clothes at work (no colors, floral designs, etc.)
Men's fashion has not changed in several centuries. In the 1800s if a man worked in a bank, he wore a suit and tie. As far as I can tell, the only change since then is that the collar is a little less restrictive. Oh, the tie or lapel might be a little thinner every now and then, but not much else has changed. Casual wear hasn't seen much of a change either.
• Men can’t use a girls bike even though it’s physically better for them
This is rather obvious. Men's junk is much more exposed then women's. For some reason whoever designed bikes decided that men should have a bar running from the seat to the handlebar that could basically make a guy squeal if he landed on it after a bump. For the females, that bar gently runs lower. My guess about this design is that in the old days, people believed women may not be athletic enough to get a leg over a bar that high up off the ground. Or maybe it was that women needed to be more demur and not lift their legs up that high. No matter the reason, a guy may not ride a more appropriately designed bike without receiving an overwhelming about of attention and verbal abuse.• On a coed sports team, man cannot slap woman’s butt
As I've blogged countless times, men are much more aggressive and physical than women. We naturally need to elbow a buddy in the side after a funny joke, slap on the back the guy who did a great job on winning that debate, or in sports, slap their friend on the rear end in excitement after scoring that goal. If a man were to do that to a female he is not related to/dating, then he can expect to be slapped in the face or relegated to the bench for being a sexist pig.
• Man can’t talk trash to a woman without repercussions
This is very similar to the butt slap. Guys love to talk trash to their friends to either get the person's goat or to build up their own self-esteem. We see this mostly at sports events, but often at work or when having a beer at a bar. If a guy were to do the same to a woman it would surely bring verbal hell fire and maybe result in some nearby hulk coming to the woman's defense. • Man dare not complain about women drivers
I learned about this the hard way. Although it's fine for women to mention how men never ask directions or drive like a demon from Hades, if a man does this he risks nation-wide ostracism. When I wrote a blog about this, not only did some radical feminists begin to attack me on Twitter and other social media, but acquaintances shunned me and tried to convince others to do the same. The odd part was that I saw the blog as a bit of a joke. No matter, don't do this.
